Are coffee shops a good place to meet men? Should I approach them?

[madeline1111]

Ok, I have yet another question on how to meet men. I go to coffee shops often...and sometimes see men that I find attractive (or at least, not hideous). I go to coffee shops to be around people, but it doesn't work out...I never get approached by men there. I give them chances too...example...last week I went to a coffee shop where I know lots of people in their twenties go...like me. I saw a nice looking gentleman...and sat one table over, facing him (we were close). He seemed too engrossed in his studies...I waited for him to look up..no luck...so after an hour, I left...depressed...again.

Is it just me? Why the HELL do I have to work hard at meeting men? (I could give plenty of examples of where I've approached them, talked...they don't seem interested in that way). All my friends constantly get picked up...what is so different about me? I'm starting to think I'm an alien.

[dreamtime]

OMG YOUR AN ALIEN, I've always wanted to meet one :P If your ever around, come say hi... I have so many questions!

eherm... on a more serious note...

It could be a variety of things really and its really hard to give you a proper answer with the information provided but I'll tell you what I think based on the information you gave

1)You go to coffee shops to be around people, why don't you change that to meet people? Hey you don't have to date all of them... just talk to whoever seems by himself and be the sociable girl, be friendly and see how that works out for you.. worst case scenario, you'll have more guy friends which'll make other guys wonder why you have so many guys around you, what makes you so special.(Guys do this too and it works, I'll guarantee that much)

2)You saw someone, he was busy with his studies and you probably felt you shouldn't disturb him yet kept hoping he'd notice you... sorry to say but most guys are chicken so even if he did, chances he'd walk up to you and ask you out off the bat would be slim. Approach him instaid next time.

3)You seem to assume every guy should be into you and while its a good mentality to have(don't change!) its not like that... honestly speaking dating is a numbers game, every time you approach or get approach.. its a step closer to a date, boyfriend, friends with benefits or whatever your actually looking for or would be up for.

4)Drop the complex because your friends get asked out more, really... don't go down that road because you'll end up wondering if somethings wrong with you... like you know thinking your an alien which'll get you nowhere... I'm speaking from experiance here.

If you'll update with a bit more information about you, what you talk about with guys you approach or why you think it doesn't work out and so on, I might be able to give better advice.

[madeline1111]

No..I don't have the mentality that every guy should be into me! Not at all..

[dreamtime]

If that's the only thing your correcting, this post served its role =)

[madeline1111]

Yes, Thanks very much...this really helped. I appreciate your time.

[Slugworth99]

I can tell you this. You are a very attractive, young lady. Unfortunately, this will work against you at times. Many guys will see a young, attractive lady such as yourself. Their first thought is - she has to have a boyfriend already. They may also sell themselves short and think there is NO WAY a girl like her could be interested in them.

As for the coffee shop, this is kind of a new social place for socializing / dating. However, I think you are much better off there than a bar. At least you won't be running into a drunken moron. However, this guy you spotted may have been there to do exactly what he was doing - work. I don't think you need to take that one incident as a personal defeat.

You will also need to put yourself a bit out and express your interest. You will have to strike up a friendly conversation. Try to find a friend first - not a date, not a boyfriend, not a husband. A good relationship is first a good friendship. If you don't like what you find, you are not in too deep to look elsewhere. As long as you are a friendly girl who is not stuck on herself or looking only for the hot studs with rippling muscles, I think you will do just fine.

[madeline1111]

Thanks again! Well..I just bought an "I'm Single" t-shirt today! I'm going to wear it tomorrow to a coffee shop, so now they will know I'm available. Smart, huh? Well..I've never had alcohol before, so I don't go to bars anyway...I suppose that's why I'm always at coffee shops. I hate muscles on guys. I'm always afraid...the more ripped they are, the more strength they have to beat me up at some point.

[Slugworth99]

Well, first, a guy hits you, give him his walking papers. You don't have to put up with that. I can tell you that the average looking, nerdy guys will usually end up treating you better. They do have to rely on being a nice guy (hopefully) than just having good looks to attact a girl. You don't need a T-shirt, but you may have to spot a guy, go over, ask him if he minds you joining him. It doesn't make you a sleeze, have a good conversation to find out a bit about it. If you like what you find

[Slugworth99]

out. Don't be afraid to ask for his name. Ask him if he would like to meet there again some time. It is in a good, safe, public place for you to find out what he is like. You are also restricted to conversation (no hanky panky even possible) which will give you more of a chance to know each other. I know that this is all easy to say, but as a guy, I think you will be well received if the guy is interested. If he isn't, keep hunting and don't give up.

[yudadagger]

I read about your fear about muscular man. Just want to let you know that not all guy's are like that. Even me, I would not hit a girl even if she's beating me up.

[udolipixie]

Are coffee shops a good place to meet men? Yes if the coffee shop is full of men

Should I approach them? Yes

Is it just me? No

Why the HELL do I have to work hard at meeting men? Environment maybe you're not what the coffee shop guys like the most or prefer. Plenty of guys and girls have to work harder and most don't know why either.

What is so different about me? Possible reasons:

You're not as pretty, interesting, or as young as your friends or as the guys in the coffee shops would like you to be.

You're giving off a desperate vibe

You look unapproachable.

[1stranger]

Shop for 2 days and only buy one small dress.. Well done baby🙄.

Also it's not about me that you touch another woman..
Anyway, whatever you do, you do with another women... Talking to another women, messaging another women, sending pictures to another women, another women with another apps... bla bla bla... Patience and stall/divert when it comes to me😑..

[1stranger]

You work (and save the world🤭), I'm going to bed, my little dress baby😘❤

[1stranger]

😒👎👎...

Why do you have a head hurts?🤔
TCOY..

[StickStickity13]

That's just how men are now, we heard women say they hate being approached randomly so most men have listened and stopped doing that.

[WayneyG]

You sat there for an hour and it did not occur to you to say hello... women need to start treating men as equals, want to be treated like one of the guys then bloody act like one...

[moviedude714]

of course you should, and it is a great place