Is it ok to approach/flirt with someone while they’re working?

[PWEAVES]

Was out to eat with a friend tonight and immediately noticed the cute hostess at the restaurant. I said hello as we walked in and were seated. From where we were seated I had a direct line of sight to where she was stationed at the front of the restaurant. Multiple times throughout my meal, I looked up and caught her looking at me, at which point she would look away bashfully as if embarrassed at being caught. After our meal on my way out I made a joke about it being Halloween and a lot of her coworkers being dressed up but not her. She giggled and my friend and I left.

In general I don’t really like to hit on girls if they are working because it’s really hard to tell if they are just being professionally polite or if they’re flirting.

As I play back the situation in my head I realize this probably would have been an instance where I could have gotten some kind of contact information from her but I’m curious what you think about flirting with/ hitting on people when they are at work?

[MaybeTony]

I used to work at Starbucks with almost all women, and all I can say is don't be a square. So many men have no social skills. If she's at her work place, have a conversation, and see where it goes. If she's giving you some cues that she's interested, move with it. Make a couple of jokes. If she reciprocates, then escalate at a respectful pace in which she's comfortable, and then ask her out. So many guys would be able to score a date if they could just carry a normal conversation

[BarryLiverstone]

You know where she works and you can go back there again. Generally it’s not good to flirt when they are on the job but you can always say hi a few times and then ask her contact info and say you would like to see her sometime outside of that restaurant.

[kylee2437]

It’s the reason why I’m currently talking to the guy I’m talking to 🤷🏻‍♀️ he’s an old co worker, he got fired but he went back to visit, so he could get my phone number. He did approach me during a work rush, but when I went to go take a break. It worked for him, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for anyone else. Just make sure you have boundaries and limits. If someone is giving off a vibe that they don’t appreciate being approached - listen to it.

[Christian_Cartier]

It sounds like a different situation if you already knew him. I think OP is asking about approaching someone new. And expecting men to pick up on a "vibe" is as ridiculous as expecting women to be outspoken. Men are not body language experts. There is legitimately no way for us to tell other than to try it and see what happens.

[kylee2437]

@Christian_Cartier I think whether you know the person, or not doesn’t really make a difference. You are still essentially approaching someone at their place of work. And secondly, if you have a problem reading ques of what a person is presenting to you, you are 1. Either autistic 2. Need to work on that. It’s not that hard to pay attention to how someone is acting/saying and deciding from there if further pursuing the situation is a great day. Have a great day.

[kylee2437]

Is a great idea*

[Christian_Cartier]

No-one is autistic, this is a common issue for all men, just ask around instead of trying to diagnose someone you don't know with a disease you don't understand over the internet.

[kylee2437]

@Christian_Cartier you seem to be a person that doesn’t read everything. I mentioned to ideas , so if you aren’t autistic, then you need to work on your socializing skills. You can’t have a good relationship anyways if you can’t read the room.

[kylee2437]

Two ideas*

[Christian_Cartier]

I read your ideas. They sound like they were written by a passive-aggressive middle schooler. Perhaps you should spend more time trying to understand differing perspectives instead of trying to get a reaction from people.

[kylee2437]

@Christian_cartier actually not paying attention to people around you and doing whatever you feel is best based on how you feel vs behaviors people might be representing to you is middle school behavior. I’m sure you are often the guy that gets into trouble for harassment because you simply don’t pay attention. Blame that behavior on yourself, not all men are like you.

[Nikki1989]

I hope so because I talk with anyone and everyone when I am at work.

[katiesmuff]

Been in the restaurant business since I was 15 bussing tables to now at 41 manager of that very same place I started at 26 years ago. Between hostesses and servers and bartenders it's a staff of 35 females and flirting starting with myself is something that happens continually. Yes many times (most in fact) are for work purposes something we call a tip, but on occasion hormones don't take a break while one is working so yes once in awhile that girl who keeps shyly looking at you her little heart is going pitter patter.

Thing to remember if your interested take the shot as worst that can happen is she will say no or thanks but I have a boyfriend or husband. No reason to be embarrassed as your leaving anyway and likely would never see her again so I say you should have taken the shot.

[MK1997]

@katiesmuff you are a weirdo

[RingOfFire]

It's absolutely okay. Love trumps (small "t") work every time. You have to seize the opportunity when it comes along because you never know if they might be the one.

As to your concern whether they might feel obligated to accept your approach even if they are not really interested out of professional courtesy, torpedoes be damned when it comes to the search for love. If you wait for an opportunity that has no risk associated with it you will die a lonely person.

[Anonymous]

2 little hoes did that once
To a guy working at a
gas station the same night I wanted to go get a CherrySlushie
Turns out they asked him
for his number while he was on the clock
guess they were pretty horny
and couldn't get enough
just by staring at him lol
so they hurried on over
and made their move

[ClassicDropout]

It really depends on what they do. I think jobs where you're expected to talk with people typically are safe to RESPECTFULLY flirt with someone working there. If it's like a security guard or a teacher, please don't.

[TheorionMage]

Speaking for myself, as long as its done tastefully and respectfully ... I've always found it flattering for acknowledging I have a LIFE beyond my employment and I might hold someone's desire to get known better. <3 ;)

[WhitneySnow]

Some girls don’t mind it, but a lot do. Try engaging her in convo. If she seems like she’s not interested, don’t push it. If she does seem interested, then you can start flirting a little and see where it goes.

[Anonymous]

I work in an office where there I'd a Cafe.

I talk to the people there as I'm a regular.

One female worker said a guy used to come in every day cause he fancied her. He would sit there half the day and even bought the same book she was reading. He followed her around on her break and she ended up calling security and got him permanently banned.

My advice to you is don't chat up cafe/restaurant workers cause they actually hate it.

[jshm2]

No. Two ways to look at it.

You're causing their place of work to judge them based on your actions, and they are trapped at work and cannot offend you with a refusal.

[Texaskid1]

No.

She is working. I have seen dudes flirt with female bartenders and waitresses and you could tell that it creeps them out. She is on the clock so she has to be careful how she rejects you.

[Christian_Cartier]

Women will say no and then call you weak for not doing it. I believe you just have to do what you feel is right in the moment, there's no way of telling what her reaction will be unless you try.

[paledreams]

"damned if you do, damned if you don't" - though no one ever wants a woman calling a cop over a 'flirt" 🧐🤐

[paledreams]

I've flirted with chicks at fast food and fine dining places before - waitresses, staff, you name it 🥳 I was immature in my early 20s mid 20s to fellow 20s women lol

[Kelley1]

Probably not with the hostess because she is trying to get bigger tips.

[CarolinaGirl5]

If u have to ask obviously not. Get a brain and a clue dude

[Kayleigh2005]

Right just because a pretty girl has to be nice to u at her work smh

Clueless they are

[CarolinaGirl5]

Right its apart of her job so she can get tips. Dudes are weirdos

[dragoblack]

I only interact if they flirt first, otherwise i let it be professional server-customer interaction. Its obvious to not take it seriously in establishments like strip clubs, hooters, twin peaks,... etc. because it is their job to flirt for tips.

[Mwolf]

I don't ever flirt. I'm a sarcastic smart ass, but I never flirt.

[HungTexan]

It depends on the situation— sometimes it’s ok.

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't know if it's "okay", but I've done it and girls at my work have had it done to them

[WatchedPot]

I wouldn't. Just make an impression and dip.

[robocop666]

No make usre they flirt first. I am talking from experience.

[Kayleigh2005]

Clueless smh fck no

[Rimaisme]

I prefer to be unbothered while working

[Miristheiss]

Sure, it is usually no problem.

[Pohjolan]

As long as you don't make it awkward.