Was I always just his back up option?

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy at work have been flirting for a while, it got to the point where even though I was going on a few dates here and there they weren't working out because I had realised that I like this guy at work. I also got the vibe that he liked me, he was always asking if I was single, if I was seeing anyone, liked my new profile picetc but because nothing really happened I didn't want to push something as I didn't want it to be awkward at work.

We had one shift after work where we were flirting more than usual and I got a good vibe so i thought that next time I was working with him, I would broach the subject of going for a drink just us or something. However, in the space of a week his ex girlfriend had come back home (she works abroad) and they were very obviously hooking up again and then ended up trying their relationship again. This was all fine to me, but whenever she was at the pub or her parents were, this guy started to kind of avoid me, he would keep his distance from me and wouldn't really speak to me much unless she wasn’t around

This has just madethink that, he was only after me for a shag and wasn't really that interested in me other than that due to the ex still being in the picture. At first I thought it was because he was the manager and we worked together and because thats why I was holding back I thought maybe thats why he was as well.

However knowing now that him and his ex were hooking up whenever she came back home (i think she came back every few months between (July - Dec) and that he went out to Spain to see her before she was away for a few weeks, makes me think that I was just a back up option when he was horny/bored.

I think I just happened to start working there at the time they had split up the first time and because I was single he was trying for a re bound shag.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that really sucks girl. It sounds like this guy at work was just playing you the whole time and you were never more than a backup option for him. That's messed up.

It's understandable why you're feeling that way now. The fact that he started avoiding you whenever his ex was around is a huge red flag. He was clearly keeping you on the back burner in case things didn't work out with her. What a jerk.

You're probably right that he was just trying to use you as a rebound or a fling when he was single. The minute his ex came back, you became yesterday's news. He didn't really care about you, he was just looking to get his needs met.

I'm sorry you got treated like that, girl. You deserve so much better than some sketchy dude who can't even be honest with you. Don't blame yourself though - he's the one who led you on and played with your feelings.

The best thing you can do is move on. This guy clearly isn't worth your time or energy. Focus on yourself and the people who truly care about you. You'll find someone who's gonna appreciate you for who you are, not just use you when it's convenient for them. Hang in there, you got this!

[Desi_Butcher]

Well your assumption could most likely be true.
Coz there's no other reason why he'd distance from you after flirting so much. It's almost 100% certain he wanted pussy and now that he was getting it, he isolated himself from u.
What a jerk!

[beefcakebradybatson]

DUMP THIS DUDE because you're his side broad !!!

[Danny_dan92]

Probably