Is it fate or just him having me as a backup?

[Anonymous]

no matter what I try my ex keeps coming back into my life I want him in my life but as a friend every time we talk he asks the same question if I wasn't in a relationship would I go back to him he cheated on me 5 years ago but we were only 17 and 18 and he just got divorced but not because he cheated on her she fell out of love with him and everytime we talk his feelings for me grow and I get confused I love my current boyfriend more than anything but yet my heart still flutters whenever he makes me laugh or smile

[Own-classic]

From my experience, it’s a conform zone for most guys to fall back to old lovers, it’s kinda like the expression of the fish and the hook? Guys will keep fishing (messaging ex’s that will still answer) and hooked (girl who answers back).

You have to ask yourself questions about what you actually want. Because if another guy has you laughing or smiling thats crazy girl. Especially an ex. (most guys, especially exs we still have feelings for can cause that butterfly feelings, but it gives them an ego boost)

there is nothing wrong with helping a friend when they are down, but its not your job to help them get back up.

If you love your current boyfriend, you need to stop what you are doing with your ex and focus on your current who is probably not cheating on you and tried his hardest to earn and keep you.

Let this ex focus on himself and pick himself up because right now you are falling for a guy who is at his lowest point in love life, i doubt he is really thinking about dating, he just wants company.

If he heals from this and you still feel the same and are SINGLE and he as well, then as a mature adult proceed but don't fuck over your current boyfriend for and ex, especially if you say you love him. That’s messed up and not okay.

But it is your life girly , you do what you feel needs to be done. But do that while you are SINGLE.

I can not emphasize that enough.

[Anonymous]

“My heart still flutters whenever he makes me laugh or smile”, that is the nail in the coffin, this is not a friendship so don’t even call it that. You still have feelings for the guy somewhere in there so why not block every avenue of access he has to you while you’re in a relationship? You'd surely lose your shit if the shoe were on the other foot and your boyfriend had an ex that keeps popping up, staying in communication with him, keeps bringing up their past relationship, etc. You’d be like wtf is up with that? So disrespectful of you bro.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel bad for your boyfriend, like so freaking bad. If only he knew what you do behind your back! Knowing your ex is falling for you again, you are building that up with these conversations and you KNOW it. Why would you do this? Such deep betrayal happening, you karma will suck.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well you should definitely either breakup with your boyfriend... or stop talking to this recently divorced ex. (Who's keep who for a backup?)

[Blueeyes81]

Are you sure you aren't keeping him as a backup?

[Nikki1989]

He is more than likely using you for a back-up. Not out of the norm for a man these days. They love to keep their options open.

[In_Trance]

Backup