Girls, would it feel unfair if someone rejected you just for being shy like shy guys often are?

[Shy_Steve]

[CheriBlossomKisses]

When I was younger, that was the case. I was burning shy and timid in high school. Friends told the guy I was into that I liked him. He came over and it was awkward because I was shy. He said he was wary of shy girls. Did that hurt? Yes. But I didn't let it stop me.

The next guy I found attractive, a friend told him I was interested. I took the lesson I learned and flirted back. The more you talk to people and open yourself up, the easier it is.

So no. I would still not be interested in a guy who is too shy to approach, or if he is too shy in general.

[Shy_Steve]

I get what you’re saying, and it’s good you grew out of your shyness. But that kind of proves the point when you were shy, rejection hurt and felt unfair.
Shy guys feel the same thing, but most women don’t give them the same grace you wanted back then.

[CheriBlossomKisses]

Oh, I didn't feel like it was unfair. Some men aren't into and are wary of shy girls, because some can be secretly crazy/creepy. I didn't begrudge him for it. But I knew I wanted to be more confident, and that was a trait that I always love in men.

[Shy_Steve]

I get that you didn’t see it as unfair for yourself, but here’s the difference: shy women often still get approached by men anyway, so they have chances to grow out of it. Shy men don’t usually get approached, They just get ignored.
So most never get that ‘practice’ that helps them become confident. That’s why the expectation isn’t equal.

[SphynxUK]

Personal choice isn’t it. It’s up to them if they don’t prefer a shy partner.
I’m not shy, but I am very reserved. Many people assume I’m shy, or that I wouldn’t be fun to be around, or that I wouldn’t be up for things. That’s their problem. If they took the time to know me they needn’t have worried.

[Cutegirl06]

I feel like it would be unfair. I mean you should at least give a person a chance. My boyfriend is very shy it's one of the things that attracted me to him.

[Shy_Steve]

The fact is the majority of Shy Guys are not getting a chance even just for a date let alone Sex, So your boyfriend is pretty lucky.

[Abbycado]

No, if that is not gonna work for them, I won’t push someone to like me when we don’t mesh well.

[Shy_Steve]

Fair enough, but isn’t that exactly what shy guys feel too?

They can’t push someone to like them if their shyness doesn’t ‘mesh’ with her. That’s why I asked if it feels unfair, because it happens both ways.

[Abbycado]

So you suggest she just give in because you want it even though she doesn’t want a guy that is shy?

Now, that is fair to you?

[Shy_Steve]

I’m not saying anyone should be forced to like someone they don’t. My point is that women admit it feels unfair if they get rejected for being shy, yet don’t see it as unfair when shy guys are rejected for the exact same reason. That’s the double standard.

[Abbycado]

That’s bullshit. I said the exact opposite of what you are claiming. Go have your little boo boo. All you are doing is whining trying to place the blame for your own problems on others. Pathetic.

[Shy_Steve]

You literally admitted it would hurt if a guy rejected you for being shy, but then turned around and said it’s fine when women do the same to men. That’s not me whining, That’s you proving the double standard. If pointing out the truth makes you this defensive, maybe it’s because you know I’m right.

[Abbycado]

Where the fuck did I say anything like that? Please quote it.

[Shy_Steve]

You said ‘Yes it would be’ when asked if rejection for shyness would feel unfair to you. Then you said ‘if that’s not gonna work for them, I won’t push someone to like me when we don’t mesh well.’ That’s the contradiction. You admit it feels unfair when it happens to you but excuse it when women do the same to men. That’s the double standard I pointed out.

[Abbycado]

"excuse it when women do the same to men" where did I say that?

Where did I say "Yes it would be"? Are you just plain dumb? Now you are just making shit up. Nowhere in this opinion and replies did I type those words. Not once.

[Shy_Steve]

You wrote ‘Yes it would be’ in your first reply when I asked if rejection for shyness would feel unfair. Then you added ‘if that’s not gonna work for them, I won’t push someone to like me when we don’t mesh well.’ That shows exactly what I said. You admitted it feels unfair for you but you excuse it when women reject shy men. Those are your own words.

[Shy_Steve]

Your first reply was ‘No, if that is not gonna work for them, I won’t push someone to like me when we don’t mesh well.’ That means you would not call it unfair for yourself, but you also admit rejection for shyness happens. That is exactly my point. Women accept it is okay to reject shy men but do not acknowledge how unfair it feels when it happens to them.

[Abbycado]

You’re just fucking stupid at this point and making yourself look worse and worse with each reply. You are purposely twisting my words and trying to interpret them to suit your narrative.

I said that if I was shy and someone rejected me that I would NOT find that unfair since I obviously don’t mesh with them.

Now grow tf up. Your shyness is not my fucking problem. If girls don’t like that (hint, we don’t) that’s not on us. That’s on you. One more stupid reply and you’re blocked.

[Shy_Steve]

I get what you’re saying l, That you personally would not find it unfair if you were rejected for being shy because you see it as not meshing. My point is that shy guys don’t get that same benefit of the doubt. Women often say they want kindness and personality, but when a man is shy those qualities are never noticed. That is where the double standard comes in, and that’s all I was trying to point out.

[jazzy34]

Sure it would, but I wouldn’t care. I’d just move on.

[Anonymous]

Yes it would be