How should I deal with a co-worker who likes me a lot but she has a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Since a few weeks a female co-worker who is 14 years younger has been flirting with me. She tries to be in my presence a lot, keeps on staring at me for a long time, smiles at me, touches me by accident, listens to me attentively, laughs with my jokes, we have even danced at a party and really connected. I really like her, we get along really well, but she has a boyfriend. I knew this but still there's fire between us.

Sometimes she tries to keep her distance, probably because of feeling guilty towards her boyfriend. Still, our gazes say enough. I like her, I really do, but I also respect her relationship and then keep my distance as well. Still I feel this situation will keep on affecting us.

Should I forget about her and ignore her, even when she tries to get closer to me? Should I confront her? Normally, I know what to do, but now, I doubt, because I want to see what could be happening.

Advice will be much appreciated!

[HollyK21]

You’re probably going to disagree and/or not like what I’m about to say, but I think this is about attention, because it almost always is. She’s not feeling very attractive in her relationship, maybe even feeling like there’s a bit of a rift, so she’s seeking outside validation and is getting it from you. You make her feel like she’s “still got it”, and I don’t think her intention is for things to progress any more than just a bit of flirting. You should set your sights elsewhere in any case, she’s your coworker and almost anyone you ask would advise against that unless one of you were moving on to a new job. Even if interoffice dating is allowed, it is not preferred.

[Selene1600000]

She has a boyfriend, so the safest move is to not feed the flirting even if there is chemistry.
Keep things polite and professional, and don’t escalate or create situations that blur boundaries at work.
You don’t need to confront her, just slowly reduce the personal energy and let it settle so it doesn’t turn into something messy.

[Staximus]

You can still be her friend but don't let it get romantic or sexual. Don't cross that line until she breaks up with her boyfriend

[Abbycado]

"but I also respect her relationship and then keep my distance as well"

Sure doesn't sound it from the rest of what you write. If that were your attitude, this wouldn't be a question.