Is it really wrong to ask out a friendly waitress you clicked with?

[Anonymous]

I was at a restaurant and I started talking to this waitress she told me about her interests and tha she wants to be a personal trainer we talked about gym stuff then she went to help someone and came back to talk more for another 30 mins and I just wish I would have ask to grab a smoothie at her gym or something but I always feel like it’s an unwritten rule to never do that would you guys ask out a waitress

[ManOnFire]

The unwritten rule is based on paranoia. If you were already having a good discussion she was obviously comfortable chatting with you. Now whether or not she would want to go out wouldn't have been discovered until/unless you did ask her. She was either going to say yes or no, simple as that. Or she would've tried to spit out the "I have a boyfriend" thing.

At worst, you maybe would've felt awkward or embarrassed if she said no, and she probably would've felt awkward but would try to just stay customer service friendly with you. In either case, it wouldn't have been wrong for you to ask her out at all. Like I said, it either would've been yes or no.

[Summeroflove]

That’s true. Generally you can tell when someone’s attracted or not.

If she’s brief and has either monotone or over the top responses. Probably not interested. Long genuine conversations are a good sign

[ManOnFire]

@Summeroflove Another sign is watching her eyes. If a girl is into you she will flick her eyes across your body quickly or even make a statement about your body, how you look, etc.

[MrOracle]

Normally I would say "don't", but in this case it sounds like she showed way more interest in you than is typical. Wait staff is friendly for business reasons, and a bit of flirting is often just part of the job, but sitting and talking with you for 30 minutes is far beyond mere business flirting.

I would say that you should still be prepared for a "no" and that you should still give her an easy path to decline, but I would have asked in your shoes. One of my good friends is married to our lunch waitress from 35 years ago. Just don't ask unless she shows more than business levels of interest.

[Anonymous]

You can try, but the chances of getting a date with a waitress or anyone in that kind of service business are very low. If they're cute they get hit on hundreds of times a day, and probably already have boyfriends anyway. I do different work, but I know when guys approach me from out of the blue I usually have a boyfriend and would not be free to go out with them if I wanted to. They're just being friendly and polite for their jobs and for tips. I know if I were doing that I'd be very closed off to getting together with anyone, especially a stranger.

[DishLady]

It’s more annoying than anything tbh. The gal probably gets hit on ALL the time. Guys see a woman waiting on them and act like it’s the woman’s dream to be rescued for a date or something… meanwhile it’s just a job the gal has to be through college or some other rough patch and you’re just making it a little more annoying to bear the burden of the job by presuming it’s OK to mess with her, flirt or ask her out. It’s NOT OK. It’s her workplace.

[Summeroflove]

Is it wrong? No but be respectful about it wait until you’re done eating and when it’s time for the check ask you’re leaving so it won’t be as awkward if she says no. Waitresses are human beings….. yes they feel attracted to other people including customers at times.

But do understand some women are taken and some aren’t interested. It’s her JOB to be nice number one it’s how she’s getting paid getting tips and two she wants to keep her job. Believe me when I say service and retail staff put up with a LOT of people’s crap because if they don’t someone will complain to a manager. And guess who gets into trouble? That’s right the waitress or waiter.

I will say engaging in conversation is a good sign that there’s more interest but then again….. waitresses do typically have customers they like talking to, and genuinely like taking to to pass the time. Does it always mean attraction? No.

As long as she talked to you I assume there’s some level of interest. Yes it’s okay to ask as long as you’re respectful and are able to take no for an answer.

If she didn’t want to talk to you. She would have kept conversations brief and related to service. Such as awkwardly laughing and walking away…. Small talk and gotta go. Feet pointing away and not really super engaged.

[ohsheeT]

First of all it's nobody else's business second of all if you don't ask her you're never going to find out so of course ask her if she says no I'm sure she has a good reason but don't take it personally but you got to jump into it to experience it that's for sure or at least to know the answer

[Bricealan]

Every circumstance is different. Any time I meet someone interesting, and she seems interested in me, I see nothing wrong with that. What would you find to be 'inappropriate' about asking out a waitress that was interested in going out with you?

Nothing at all. I have missed the boat by feeling just that way, and let possibly good date material slide away by being too uptight about asking them out. Only danger is reading too much into what they indicate, and maybe be rejected as a date.

[katiesmuff]

Hell No! I've been at the same restaurant now for 27 years starting as a hostess helper eventely on to server and 7 years ago was able to purchase the place from the retiring original owners. I have seen many of the waitresses myself included go out with a customer. It's amazing the results you can get on the dating circuit by just having the guts to speak up and shake off denials that will also happen.

[KrazyKate]

I would usually agree with a lot of the other opinions about her just being friendly because it's her job and to not do that to her because she probably gets hit on all day.

BUT the fact that she was talking to you for 30 mins when she could literally be doing anything else like sitting down makes me believe she could be interested.

Test it. Wait a week and go back to that restaurant but DO NOT ASK TO SIT IN HER SECTION, sit in any other section but hers and DO NOT GO UP TO HER. If she is not interested it will come off as creepy to her. When you see her wave or nod or whatever it is you do to say hi from afar, just don't call her over. This will create an out for her, she could just wave back and you both go on about your lives but if she's interested she will more than likely come over to talk to you and then Id say go for it! Good luck!!

[Screenwriter]

Have never heard of this as an unwritten "rule." If you enjoyed speaking to her and you know how to find her, ask her out by showing up for her shift when you aren't a customer. IF she seems open to it, grab a smoothie with her. It's reasonable.

[beenherebefore]

You know that as a waitress it's her job to be friendly to her customers and she probably goes through these conversations every day multiple times a day. Is not a clear sign that she clicked with you. To her it was just probably a normal day at work.

[RavVid]

A waitress is quite capable of being attracted to a guy dining at the cafe/restaurant. It certainly sounds like she was partial to you. You easily say that you enjoyed the conversation and could you meet up to continue it. Keeping it low key makes it easier for her to accept.

Once out of her work environment you could be more direct with your interest.

I've gone out with waitresses and bar staff without problem.

[nomomrnice]

No I don't think that it is but I would start out as I'm sure that every dude in the world that comes into this restaurant has asked you out with only one thing on their mind but I would like to go and get to know you better in a public place no expectations because I just have seen your personality and interactions with others here in the restaurant it kind of impressed me and maybe want to know you better but if not I understand 100%

[msc545]

It is not so much wrong as it is probably a waste of your time and hers. People in these kinds of service jobs get propositioned with all sorts of things many times each day. Believe it or not, there's nothing so special about you that's going to make her want to go ahead and go out with you. If she really wanted to, she would ask you out. She hasn't done that, so the best thing you can do is continue to be friendly with her and not see her as a potential romantic object.

[Theunfadeable]

Who are you afraid of getting In trouble with?😆 As long as she’s not a minor it’s perfectly fine to ask a her out. She’s a grown woman and she’s perfectly capable of saying no if she’s not interested in going out with you.

[Zack-Bann]

There are no rules
None
The sooner you learn that the happier you will be


If anything it’s wrong not to ask her out after clearly a mutual attraction

[molonski2]

It's worked on a plethora of occassions, ask her out , nothing ventured , nothing gained , go for it and go hard.

[Jackblue]

I did once, I assured her that I wouldn't treat her differently if she said no, that I think is a key thing. They are a captive audience when they are on the job so they might be a little afraid to refuse.

[Hunter-40m]

She is apperantly interesed in you so there is nothing wrong with asking her out forget about rules or other unwritten bla bla and write your. own rules

[LiamJHayden]

The way to tell if she is really interested is if after her shift she comes over and asks if she can join you. Otherwise just assume she is 1. nice 2. being nice to increase her tips.

[Miristheiss]

No it isn't.

Wrong to ask someone out? Please.

[jshm2]

Yes. As they are there for work and tips - not dating advice.

[Anonymous]

I have done it before and it didn't go well. She said something like "I can't even escape you fuckers at work". That caught me off guard. I don't feel like I was aggressive or disrespectful at all. It kinda sucked. Hard to shake.

[Massageman]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you want to ask her out, then, just ask her out. Remember: you miss 100% of the chances you never take.

[Texaskid1]

Ask her out.

Then she will tell you that her boyfriend bla, bla, bla...

It always happens.

[AngryCarl3]

She was talking to you because it was a slow day. She doesn't find you repellent, but she's not interested in you romantically.

[exitseven]

I asked out a bartender once and she went out with me. We dated for 4 or 5 months.

[LC75LC71]

Dude.. She's a waitress. She catered to your wants for a good tip. It was probably closing time or her section was slow.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

spare yourself from the unnecessary drama and leave it

[ABC1x1x]

Waitresses ar paid to be friendly. They do not like you. Leave them alone.

[123459876]

Follow your heart what's the worst that could happen

[Agape93]

@Abbycado sounds awfully familiar

[Abbycado]

Yeah, only anon now.

[Twodogs0525]

I have. There's nothing wrong with it.

[MrChinaski]

Was it Hooters?

[Zionne]

you better take that shot, cz we never know

[Iron_Man]

Ask her soon no problem

[Anonymous]

Not wrong at all.

[Alex-Snow]

I say go for it

[In_Trance]

Yes it is