Can a guy stop loving you after sex?

[Anonymous]

can they really wait couple of month(5 month), be very caring sweet and then suddenly after "getting it" become cold and just break up with you? he made my first time very special and beautiful but after that he changed, became less caring and a little bit cold. one day when I called him crying, asking what happened, why he left me in the dark when I needed him the most, he said I don't understand him, that he works and goes to school so couldn't see me everyday. but I never asked everyday. all I asked for was him to text me something sweet sometimes during the day so I wouldn't feel alone. he lives far it's understandable but not seeing your girlfriend for two weeks is unexceptable. (it only takes 2 hours to come to my place). then he just broke up with me saying it wouldn't work out, that we're different. but he wouldn't give me up like that before and now it was so easy for him. its very difficult for me to face the fact that I was only used. its been a month and he only texted on christmas and new years, not even asking how I was, just wishing me the best. please help.

[lolabear]

my friend is going through this also. if the guy is afraid of commitment, even though its not noticeable, it will come out after you've had sex. he may feel that now that youve had sex, you expect the relationship to become very serious and committed. this may not even be what you intended, but he saw it that way and it frightened him. you'll have to either let him go now, or leave him a message somewhere about how you truly feel about him.

[Asker]

I know letting him go is the best thing to do, but he was my first. I gave him my everything, and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I think sex ruined our relationship. I don't know how to let go

[lolabear]

Well, you need to start by giving yourself a confidence booster. he obviously really cared for you. and most likely, this whole thing was just him being paranoid. try to stay friends with him if possible. that way, you'll always be in his mind, and you can maybe talk with him about it at a later date.

[Asker]

We don't even talk. I don't wanna seem desperate so I'm waiting for him as a man to make the first move and text or call, but he isn't and I can't do it, I feel low enough already, don't wanna embarass myself more.

[lolabear]

Well, if you really do want him back, you'll have to try SOMETHING. maybe just be the first to drop him a happy holiday text, instead of waiting for him to say "merry christmas, best wishes." just beat him to it, but at times when you know he'll talk back.

[Asker]

Do you think I should text him on valentines day? or is it gonna make me look depressed. and what you think I should say? thank you so much you're a great help

[lolabear]

If you text for valentine's day, make sure to make it simple, not clingy. try a simple "hey,have a happy valentines day!" you could say something similar to: "hey, howve you been? hope you have a happy valentines day!" just DONT say anything that may sound sarcastic. like: "hey. hope youve been doing well. happy valentines day." even though its similar to the other text I mentioned, it sends a little bit of a different message. when you send it, make sure its eaarly morning or later in the day.

[toulouse]

This is sooooo pathetic - not your response - the scenario... If a person guy, or woman is going to get so freaked out by sex or whatever they think that it is ,that is going to make the other person want more then they can give, then they should be a little more careful about WHAT THEY ARE DOING. ...Don't people know how t talk anymore... If someone is THAT worried they should be able ot talk abut it... & I do not by the whole conquest except that, that is what they BELiEVE - Wish!

[993099142]

I know a guy like that. He got rejected by 300 girls and then dated a girl who looked like she walked out of a bill board magazine. Better looking than angeline jolie or any other movie star, and when they became sexually active, he lost all the kind, caring, selfless qualities that made her fall in love with her in the first place.

[DixieGirl2406]

Well, my boyfriend and I are two, two and a half hours away. We go a month or so without seeing each. I love him, but gas is just too damn expensive. I'm going home to see him Valentine's day. We're both in college and our schedules are a lot different. I'm in nursing school and he works non-stop. Even during school. So it's hard.

[lolfreddy]

Yes its possible. My friend has done that before. He tries and tries till he gets it then he dumps her. I think he's on a quest to screw as many chicks as he can... Then the girls usually come to me crying asking me why he did that and I have a hard time "explaining" what happened.

God... makes me feel so bad when I see those poor girls like that :(

[Newport100]

I have known guys like that also, I wonder if they secretly hate women. but the irony of it all...they get all the women and the women fawn allll over them. what a twist of fate, lol.

It must be some kind of conquest thing, I guess they feel as if they won, they had sex with the girl and got through all of thier defenses and beat them. Then they dump them without looking back.

[Atomizer]

It seems that at least one guy can get cold and distant after sex. perhaps its all wanted from you.

[Asker]

I don't completely blame him, maybe I became a little pushy but it was only after we did it because believe it or not I didn't enjoy it at all(just knowing it was with him brought a sweet feeling). so what I'm saying is I only did it for him. I thought it would have brought us closer

[Atomizer]

Classic female mistake. If the relationship's in trouble, sex will not bring him closer and will often push him away because sex stirs up so many feelings.

[Asker]

It was never in trouble. that's what I'm saying it was great before. he bought me gifts, took me shopping(not like I expected him to) but just showed me he cared. he kept saying he loved me. I am not blind I know when a guy tries to get with you only for sex, but this was different. he waited and I didn't promise him anything. I'm hoping he just needs time. I don't wanna believe that "when a guy get's what he wants, he doesn't want it anymore". =(

[Atomizer]

The truth can be sad, sometimes.

I wish I had a better answer for you, but it's impossible to get into someone's head.