I'm moving away from my crush - should I tell him how I feel?

[acomplicatedkindness]

Basically I'm moving to a different country in a week's time, at least for three months (possibly staying there forever depending on job situation). This guy I have liked for a long time has been popping up everywhere recently, saying he'll miss me and trying to hang out more because I'm leaving. I know this could just be a friendly thing.

Should I just tell him to get it out of my system? Or would it make me feel worse? Is it selfish of me to put it out there, since I'm the one leaving and he's going to have to deal with it when I'm gone? What are your experiences with this kind of situation?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for all your answers! Argh this is so stressful. I'm finding it very difficult to even talk to him properly now because there's so much pressure on me to tell him/not to tell him.

[MeMyself777]

Have a conversation with him and tell him that you are going to miss him very very much. Then look at his reaction, at that moment if it feels right to tell him just do it. Sometimes you gotta take risks ... things are always going to be awkward when it comes to love. There is no perfect way of telling someone that you like him.

From my experience, I'd say that rejection is much better than living with what ifs. You can get over someone who rejected you, but you can't get over someone who you liked very much because your brain will keep reminding you of the what if.

[acomplicatedkindness]

That's kind of how I feel at the moment..I feel like I can never get over him if I keep thinking 'what if'. It's gotten so bad that I've actually wished he had a girlfriend or that he could just go out with someone else so I can get over it!

[Harratot33]

So, what happened? Did you tell him in the end?

[Anonymous]

It's not selfish, it's your feelings. Nothing wrong about that.

Are you going to feel better or worse? It's subjective. There are people who would feel better because they let it out of their system and to observe the person's response to what they say. Maybe he'd like to keep your relationship long distance till you return back?

Others would feel worse because the other person might not be sharing the same feeling or it's hard to express these feelings then say goodbye.

Do what would make YOU happy :)

[acomplicatedkindness]

I don't really know, because I've never been in this situation before. It's also the first time that I feel active in my feelings - I've had crushes before but I would never actually want to do anything about them. This time I want to do something, but not sure what. A long distance relationship is out of the question, for me at least. I know I couldn't do it, I'd just get bored easily plus I hate communicating via Facebook/skype etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Then accept the fact that you wouldn't be able to have a relationship with him since you can't do LDR. Don't tell him then :/

[Shannon18]

YES deffo tell him. I'm sure he will tell you how he feels. If he knows your leaving soon. An him saying he misses you may indicate that he will want to keep in touch with you. Go for it. I wish I had the confidence to tell my crush how I feel. Answer my question mate :) x

[Opalivian]

Since your moving away, now you are feeling regret of not telling your crush you liked him all this time. Yeah, go ahead and tell him if you really want him to know, but if he said he liked you too or he never though of you like that, you would just feel like crap even more. Forget about it and find another crush wherever the next place your moving. Its not like there's only one fish in the ocean right?

[acomplicatedkindness]

I keep thinking that I'll never find someone else that I like as much as I like him - but I know that's a silly way to think...

[Opalivian]

Oh there will be more people even better than him. Feeling this way is natural just like everything, it will go away.

[acomplicatedkindness]

Thanks :) it's what I needed to hear

[martyfellow]

it puts you to the test. How valuable is your relatonship? Is there any chance you'll stay in touch? How committed is he to staying behind? You'll need to really think about all this because if its just friendshp you'll be putting him through pain for no reason.

[acomplicatedkindness]

Well we would definitely stay in touch, even if I/he didn't do anything, because he's my brother's best friend and they live together (I know, makes it all the more complicated!). I don't really value him as a friend (like I value my other friends), I just like being around him.

[martyfellow]

It's casual, so just let it lie, don't complicate his life over something whimsical.

[bryghtt]

Just tell him that you're moving away and you'd like to stay in contact, get his email/ phone and just have a close relationship, if your moving for possibly forever, a relation ship isn't possible so stick to a tight friendship (plus you never know how much you love something until you lost it, maybe you will find a guy you like better (;

[acomplicatedkindness]

I have both already, plus Facebook and twitter. BUT we were never really 'friends' friends in the first place as he's my brother's housemate (and best friend) so were just kind of thrown together. Wouldn't it be odd to start talking to him, alone, from a different country, without my brother and all our other friends being there?

[Singularity714]

Just do it.

Jk I don't know, it depends on what relaationship you currently are on o. O
Oh well, I guess I can't be any help cuz I have 0 experience XD