I think I messed up my chances with him. Emergency, please help.

[louiseee]

I love my ex. Flat out. And we broke up about a month and a half ago and we still hung out and everything seemed the same. We were going to get back together, he was coming to Thanksgiving with my family and everything was good. I was dating a few guys on the side and on Friday I hung out with one of the other guys. Nothing happened, I didn't even kiss him. Yesterday I was with my ex and he asked me if Friday was a date. It was out of the blue and I didn't answer and he said "So, that's a yes" and this morning he said that he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving with me and that he didn't want to date me and he decided this last night.

Please help me. I want him back so badly, what can I do or say?

Updates

+1 y

CORRECTION TO EVERYONE:

By dating other guys on the side I did not mean I was dating other guys while him and I were a couple. After we broke up, we still hung out and acted like a couple and while we were single I was also going on dates with other people

[Anonymous]

At first I read this as if he was your boyfriend and then I saw "I was dating other people on the side" and...

You really should try acting like you're his girlfriend- sans the dates and such.

Be a good girlfriend on your own time, without the dating contract.

I'm guessing you've told your ex you love him and want to start dating again- I don't think anyone would be convinced if that person was dating other guys, so a good place to start would be getting your act together. Tell him you're going to do it, and follow through, hopefully he'll feel more towards you then, but I'd give up on Thanksgiving for now, unless he didn't really mean it- it does feel like a late night decision, but I think he was hurting too. Stop hurting him.

[louiseee]

I have not told him I love him. And we are single, I figured I might as well date since I mean.. my logical side is telling me to not be with some one who isn't sure if he wants to be with me (Also, he has cheated and I forgave him, so if he is going to pull this sh*t?) But then I also believe good people make bad decisions and that doesn't mean you should hold it against them forever. And he is coming to Thanksgiving now. I told him he didn't have a choice, he told my little cousins he was

[louiseee]

going to be there and he needs to be a man and not let them down. His response was "Do I need to bake anything?" Pssh..

[Opinion Owner]

He cheated on you?!

Read the comments for 147703 and yeah, people make mistakes, but he doesn't respect you or deserve you after he did what he did, imo. Logically, from someone who's not in love with the jerk, yeah, don't get back together with him. I don't believe in the once a cheater, always a cheater thing either, but from what I'm hearing about this guy, he doesn't sound like the type to respect people in general. If I were you, I would do Thanksgiving with him and maybe things will

[Opinion Owner]

patch up, but it sounds like you should make a clean break with this guy-

stop all contact, get rid of everything he's given you, etc.

[147703]

you have to show this guy that your actually dedicated to him.. the fact that he's now just one of many is probably pretty hard on him... so you need to stop that. its not crazy on his part to not want to date you, but you have to call/text him asap man up and be like "i love you, I still love you, it was not a date, we were just hanging out as friends, and I want to be with you and spend the holiday with you"

and then just stop dating these other guys, until that happens.. this guy might not be so keen to just say yes immediately. which means, you need to go on a detox. give it a week or two no other guys. to prove to him that he's worth it. Is there a reason that your going out with these other guys tho?

[louiseee]

Yea, the ex cheated on me and I found out after we broke up.. and the WAY he cheated was awful. First it was texting, which I found out before we broke up and forgave him. Then I drove for two hours to drop him off at the airport (At 3am, when I had classes the next day) and then picked him up at 1 am. While he was gone visiting family, he was also f***ing some one, and telling them that him and I were just friends. I dated other guys after we broke up to see if I clicked with anyone in the way

[louiseee]

that I clicked with him. I wanted to be sure that I really loved this guy and really wanted to forgive him and trust him and try again.

[147703]

Oh yikes.. jesus. well that changes quite a bit. honestly at this point if he's wanting you back he should be doing everything in his power to make it up to you, to prove to you that he can be faithful to you. the fact that you are going out with guys while your seperated is completely OK, and he should deal with it and push on through. it should be him making all the efforts. and in the end of the day it should be your decision if you go back with him or not.. just be careful. guys can change

[147703]

but, you just need to be cautious because you don't want to get hurt again. make sure he's really what you want. have the other guys made you feel good? remember that it is hard to compare a date to a relationship. you will always feel a greater connection to someone you've been with, so maybe give these new guys some more time to see. . just be smart, good luck (L)

[MrsJones7]

Why are you dating others while calling him your boyfriend? That flat out tells him that he doesn't really matter to you and you are not exclusive with him. I think he is right for reacting this way. This shows dignity and also I can tell he is really into you. You can do 1 of 2 things which is either be with only him and stop seeing other dudes. Be his girlfriend or you can pick the single and free life and move on from this relationship. It all comes down to how much you really love him and how important he is to you for you to make a decision. Good luck!

[louiseee]

When did I call him my boyfriend? I thought I called him my ex. I was dating others AFTER he broke up with me. Thank you for your advice, I told him that I have stopped seeing people, Friday was not a date, and that I am going to wait for him to show I am serious about trying again.

[KevininLA]

No guy wants to feel like he is second place or a "possible option." That's probably how he feels and that's probably why he stopped. You need to make your intentions clear and be truthful. don't just not answer for any reason because he will just feel reinforced in his opinion that he is second or a "possible option" if you say nothing to him.

[CuriousEddie]

Tell him that you go out with guys once in a while, but it is neither romantic or sexual because you haven't gotten over him yet, and you think the two of you deserve another chance.

[kylek]

stop datin other guys and prove that you want him back because he probly feels like you don't have feelings for him no more! and just talk to him!

[Anonymous]

her nighty think that you don't like him anymore.

our her probably dosnt want to get hurt. Just tell hime took still haber feelings fort him.

[bbynelly]

Say he's just a friend.

[MrEM4N]

Because guys are stupid and won't question anything, right? That's only going to create more distrust in the relationship. Guys know other guys. They're never just friends unless they're already friends.

[louiseee]

Well, he is just a friend, and I do not lie. I don't like liars so I don't lie about stuff like that. My ex knows that. So, if I say it is just a friend, he should believe me.