From contact everyday to no contact for 4 days... what to think?

[LJHam]

After dating a guy for one & a half months and receiving either calls or texts at least once everyday, then out of the blue for 4 days I don't hear a thing... what was I supposed to think?

Is there some unwritten code that says when someone suddenly stops contacting or returning your calls you are supposed to just be okay with it and walk away? For me, sudden no contact causes me worry that something bad might have happened. But was I really supposed to "read between the lines" and just automatically know the person wanted space?

[4keps_1966]

I too posted a very similar situation hoping to get some of the guys response to gain some insight, however I did not receive the first response from any men!

I feel your pain and myself don't understand!

Why do they make all this effort to reel us in if they are not interested!

If something happened along the way, then so be it, either be a man and tell us or the coward some are and quit calling and tex ting all together!

My guess is you heard from him after the 3 or 4 days, and he acts normal, catches up with what you been doing then disappears again?

I think they do this to hook us, (knowing we are decent women) and not going to be out shagging other men because THEY have us hooked, all the while they are out dating other women!

In our heart of hearts I think we both know the answer to this! We were giving these guys to much credit! We just thought we had found a decent man, only to find out we have some really good players out there! Yes that's OUR MISTAKE!

We just have to get up, dust ourselves off and learn from our mistakes!

Hope you find some comfort in knowing, your not on that roller coaster ride alone!

Good Luck to you!

[popsilicious]

he's either busy with stuff going on in his life and can't find the time or feels it;s a bit too intense and has decided to take a step back and have some space .. ie; he's in his cave processing the last 6 weeks ... he'll be back in his own good time ! just carry on living your life and don't stress about no contact ... if he hasn't told you it's over then it's not over !

[Anonymous]

Yes. At your age, you're supposed to know men well enough, that you should know this was going to happen. And in a few days or so, he'll be back to exactly where he was a few days ago, and expect your relationship to continue exactly where he left it. As if his absence hadn't happened.

It'd be one thing if you were 18, you might need the guy to explain this to you. Or maybe your mother would, when she's teaching you about boys.

But you're in the 36-45 age bracket now. You really should know this stuff by now.

[4keps_1966]

You are probley right at this age we should know! However some of us women have been in very faithful in marriages for long periods of time and just now hitting the dating scene for one reason or another!

So your saying this is not a sign that we are being played MEN just operate this way? I understand we all have other things going on in our lives but REALLY?, so much that you can't send a text or a simple phone call when you did for 3 wks straight!

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. Basically, yeah.

As much as I hate recommending anyone read his books, it's one thing John Grey described very well in his "Men are from Mars" book. The metaphor of the dragon in the cave.

Men need space from time to time. Read the Best Answer on this question,

link

for more about this aspect of male behavior .

[LJHam]

Sorry, but just because I happen to be of a certain age bracket doesn't mean I've had a great deal of relationship experience. Due to these recent dating events I've come to realize I'm still in 20-something relationship frame of mind. The last boyfriend I had was at the age of 25. Since then I've only dated 3 guys for no longer than 2 months each. But believe me, I've learned this lesson very well.

[martyfellow]

Yes yo'er supposed to know that ppeople have other things going on in their lives, and even if they dont, they need to breathe and reflect and relax, maybe!

New relationships can be stressful, atfer all.

So learn to lay back from time to time and let things mature. Don't worry about a short period of no contact. They'd let you know if it were something disastrous!

[Anonymous]

I guess you have to think about what happened last and cut your losses