Girls, does jealousy really work in flirting?

Question

I'm curious . From what I've noticed when you casually flirt with a girl , she does'nt seem to take your too seriously . But as soon as she sees you flirting with some other girl , she starts to make more of an effort to speak to you . So does jealousy really work ?

Fitzroy · Accepted Answer

I allow myself to be more talkative when I see him flirting with someone else because I see it as friendliness on his part and a 'go ahead' to speak freely with him without worrying that he'll misconstrue my motives or create drama.

When I see that a guy or a lesbian is a Flirt in general, it means I don;t have to take them seriously.

But, usually, I just think they are talking with people and are socializers and so actually, me being the 'quality over quantity ' type of person, I usually just ignore it as outside of my sphere of existence.

For instance, as charming as Ryan Gosling is, as much as I like his basic personality, even if it is rehearsed and professional,it reflects his basic character. He is sweet, sincere and flirtatious.

I probably wouldn't interact with him IRL because I don;t like flirting in general.

For me, the jealousy would be more with someone I knew well and it would be concerning their asking someone else for advice or inviting them to do something.

I get jealous of my friends and family because I want to be 'in on' all the group stuff.

When I am 'crushing on' someone, I can get envious of others having fun or interesting times with my 'crush' but I do not turn up my 'game'.

Instead,I try to become more sincere and patient to establish a firmer relationship with my crush.

I tend to be the type who likes people I know well, though so, again, if I felt romantically towards someone we'd either be dating or I'd be worshipping from afar because of reasons we wouldn't work well together as a couple long term or overnight.

The moment I 'catch on' that someone is playing games to get me to acknowledge that they want to date or f*ck me,to get me to play back or give them permission to try something more 'hands on' ?

That is when they cease to exist in my universe.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

I think it is a risky proposition. First, the girl has to be interested. If you are not her thing, this won't work. She will simply be relieved you have moved on to someone else. Also, keep in mind that sometimes guys misread girls and may think a girl is flirting when all she is doing is having some fun banter.

Secondly, some girls will simply be put off if they see you flirting with another girl right after you flirted with them. One person mentioned that shy girls will probably just give up. I can tell you another group that you will lose, women like me who are not shy, not lacking in confidence, and have no interest in guys who are insincere, flirting with anything in a skirt. A guy who flirted with me and thought he was going to make me jealous by flirting with someone else in front of me, he'd lose my interest and respect in 2 seconds flat.

I personally recommend if you flirt and want a girl to take you seriously, you should be more serious. In other words, flirt, then ask her real questions about herself. Not an interrogation, but friendly convo that shows you are interested in more than just hitting it and quitting it.

Sayaka1202 · Accepted Answer

It can work on some girls but only if they see the other girl reacting to you. I believe the way this method works is because girls of medium - high popularity have a tendancy to give guys a limited amount of attention before they dismiss him, as to reduce the possibility of accidentally giving off the wrong signals. When they discover some other girl in talking to him, they sometimes (depending on the person) start to question the validity of their assessment, and start to wonder whether the guy possessed quality they had failed to recognise, qualities this other girl has recognised. Thus the interest.

Other alternatives include (but are not limited to) the possibilty that like me the girl is hoping for the success of the guy with another girl, so watches hoping he is successful. Also, it is possible that they watch because they want to see how this guy behaves with the other girl, whether it is different, whether he is a player, whether he is desperate, and also to see how the other girl reacts to see if she can learn some pointers from that girl.

titoloco · Accepted Answer

All the truth is in this video. It's simple. Jealousy boots attraction. Notice how the lonely guy even thou was good looking and Taio was average with girls around him. The girl dumped the lonely guy for Taio. It's really like that when you go into clubs or are part of any social event. Humans are always more attracted to things that are rare and hard to get. As LUDA said: It's finders Keepers and losers Weepers. I know it sucks being the Weeper, but when it comes to MATING = Sex every tactic is allowed to get What you want. Why do you think smart people suck so much at dating. They play Fair. A bad boy doesn't play fair and gets the girl no matter how cute or successful the smart guy might be. The Bad Boy will use everything available to take the girl from you even if it means Breaking your Smart Ball, in other words make you look silly so you lose your composure and your confidence in the process.

If jealousy is used correctly, meaning with enough expertise you can make a girl wet in no time and for girls you can give your man the BLUE BALLS (hate it so much as a guy, but when the release comes...enough said).

After you've mastered breaking her heart (making her jealous) she will think

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes it definitely works. But don't flirt with another girl in front of the girl you're after, that's not smart. Best is to have other girls flirt with you in front of her. Now, that is very powerful. There is no question women look into cues about a man status overall (attractiveness, money, power etc..). Seeing other women smiling to you and flirting with you obviously makes you more desirable. Women also go crazy when you ignore them. By that I mean don't chase them.

Usually I flirt a bit with a girl without being too obvious, just enough for her to wonder and then I let her marinate, amazingly effective. While she thinks about it (girls need time to internalize their attraction to you, during that time they are most sensitive to cues) if she sees other girls flirting with you they get scared another might snatch you. They then often come running to you (girls are very creative when they want to be). In a relationship I wouldn't recommend it, unless your girlfriend treats you like sh*t and takes you for granted, then yeah feed her that nice medicine, that'll knock her down from her pedestal and she'll obsess about you in no time.

RubyRedRox · Answer

Does it work?

Yeah, girls (well I am) very indecisive and once we see some other girl catching interest in something/someone we think "hmm she might make up her mind about him/her/it, I want that feeling as well" so we gravitate towards that object/person and we covet it/them. It's like in a way we admire other girls' opinions, if we see them happy with someone we want that happiness she is feeling as well so we kinda want that someone. Er, I know makes no F***ing sense, I am crap at explaining things :/

Should you do it a lot?

No. It would only backfire and if you were to get into a relationship with the girl you are making jealous she would be super paranoid with the people you are around with. Honestly don't play these games, and don't fall for chicks who like to play games as well, yes they are fun but someone could end up getting hurt, comprende?

Peace and good luck.

queenofpeen · Answer

It works if she's a self-destructive nutjob who's into drama.

If I see that a guy I'm interested in is interested in someone else, I lose interest because I don't "compete" for guys. I want him to be 100% available. Why would I be into someone who's into a bunch of other people? It doesn't make any sense to me.

And obviously, if I see a guy I'm NOT interested in flirting with someone else, I don't give a crap. If I didn't like him to begin with, that certainly doesn't change anything,

TimeAndTimeAgain · Answer

It works. Girls will say it doesn't work, but that's because they don't see how much it works. If you make a girl jealous, she's going to get angry and want to break your neck - yes. But that doesn't mean she's going to dislike you or not be attracted to you. In fact, the very fact that she's jealous means she's attracted to you in some way.

Jealousy is the best medicine to fix situations where your girlfriend doesn't seem to care about you anymore. Just make her jealous and she's gonna start obsessing over you, checking where you are, who you've been with, making sure you get attention. It's so funny.

If you always give your girl attention and never make her feel like she has to be jealous, chances are high that she'll get bored and lose interest in you. By making her think that you don't care that much, or that you might leave her for someone else, you keep her focused in you, worried that you might leave her.

This works on guys as well, BTW. Not just girls.

whosays · Answer

yes, but don`t over use it, or do it spitefully. it hurts us to see someone we care about caring more about someone else. you can also be considered a cheater or player type.

a lot of girls refuse to admit it, because although it hurts them and angers them, it does make us more interested (most of the time, most girls) in the long run.

opalhearts · Answer

I feel like it wouldn't work that well on girls who are shy or have low self-confidence, as they might feel discouraged and give up. However, on more outgoing, self-assured girls who like a challenge, it may be a good strategy. So you should have a basic understanding of the girl's personality before you try that.

Shimmyshammy · Answer

It's upsetting and confusing! In my case, the guy I like flirts like crazy with me one day and the next ignores me, flirts w another girl or talks and jokes loud with her and LOOKs at me every time they do! It drives me crazy so I flirt w a guy and make HIM crazy! Oh how I hate this!

hakuna_matata · Answer

it really depends

either she is one of those types who will just get pissed off looking at you flirt with some other girl and vows to never date u...or... she might be one of those competitive types who will try to snatch you out of other women's hands...

i just say...keep such games out of everything. you will be better off without all this negative stuff...

missannabee · Answer

I don't think jealousy would work at all for me. I would either think that he wasn't interested after all because he behaves like that with everyone or that he is kind of a sleaze that tries to get into everyone's pants. Either way it doesn't really work in your favor.

PeteSapper · Answer

This is an evolutionary mechanism that's built into women. They are hard-wired to seek out males who are in-demand or come "pre-selected" by other females. It's such a powerful mechanism that an ugly guy surrounded by girls will actually be perceived as higher value than a good-looking guy with no girls.

Use it to your advantage, but don't abuse it.

Good luck - Pete Sapper

saelym · Answer

I'm sure it works with some girls and not with others. I don't respond well to it. It's sort of a game I'm not willing to play. I'm not going to claim someone who I have no right to, and if he's interested in someone else, that's his business and my cue to back off.

Remember, the jealousy method goes both ways, as evidenced by far too many Cosmopolitan articles proclaiming that the quickest way to "get that hottie" is to make him jealous.

PeteSapper · Answer

You just answered your own question. If you really want a woman to take you seriously, let it be known that she's got some competition.

Everyone knows women love a challenge.

Very few women will admit that jealousy ups their interest level (I'm sure you'll have a few denying it outright), but we all know that what women SAY and what women DO are often 2 very different things.

Good luck.

neonzebra · Answer

Personally, I really hate it when the guy I have a crush on plays the jealousy thing. Even if he's not doing it on purpose, it makes me just want to give up, and I wonder why I even try. It also makes me feel discouraged and then I am less likely to try to talk and flirt with him. Just something to think about. Good luck ;)

MELL__ · Answer

It depends on what kind of flirting it is that he's doing to me. I don't like the cheesy, player type of flirting. It gets old and pretty boring, really fast.

And I would only become jealous if I was into this guy. If not, it would not bother me. Besides, a guy flirting with the whole female population is a definite turn off to me.

aidsleen · Answer

YES

anyone who says no is stupid, same goes for guys (in the right situation)

they have it, they enjoy having it, I can have, I want it.

anyone who denies this is unable to accept that it is true.

the DESIRE will always be there, all the time, maybe they don't act on it, but they will want to.

Yeahhbro · Answer

jealousy usually spark negative feelings, so no I don't think so. Wheter it works or not, it is still debatable, if she sees that you are somebody around a lot of girls, thenn it is a turn on, because she knows that you have something that a lot of girls want. If you do it to piss her off or make her jealous on purpose, then it is another story and then that is not a very good move.

Meu963 · Answer

Im a girl and Yes it works...first she shows her attitude or imprtance that she don't want you to do that or she is nt intrested...but when you shift to another girl..her ego breaks...and she wants you to do that which she secretly liked...thatz all

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

It is rather a turn OFF for me. If you are interested in me, then be only interested in me.

pepper01 · Answer

not for me it doesn't. if I see him flirting with another girl than I think he likes her and not me so I  move on to another guy

Kladdpapper · Answer

I would loose interest in him. If he was first flirting with me then flirting with another girl he's a player or will take anything he can get. I'm not special to him so I won't make him special to me :)

Anonymous · Answer

I think flirting with other girls does work. But the problem with that is that she won't want you because she likes you. It will be because she wants attention from you. I think most girls want to be the center of attention and when they don't get that, they feel jealous.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't use jealousy intentionally with flirting.  I'm too awkward to be sly about such things.  If I find multiple girls cute I'll naturally give more attention to the one that's reciprocating.  It's not a very complicated system, and one that is very easily taken advantage of by the girls I'm flirting with if they knew. :P

Anonymous · Answer

No, it just makes us mad. She was probably flirting with you before and just waiting for you to make a move. When she saw you talking to another girl, she would feel like she needed to make her feelings more obvious. Maybe it could be helpful to find out if she likes you, but I think most girls can't stand it when guys try to make us jealous.

Twincapersred · Answer

No- if I see a guy who I've been flirting with, flirting with another girl, it makes me dislike him. I'm not flirting with anyone else

Anonymous · Answer

With some young girls it can. But generally, it only works on the emtionally immature.

chocktachick · Answer

Jealousy doesn't work for everyone. If a guy tried to make me jealous to get me to pursue him more then I would back off 'cause I'm not into people who play mind games like that.

Anonymous · Answer

i don't know about other girls, but I know that if a guy who I'm interested in or who flirts with me flirts with another girl, particularly in front of me, I lose interest.  it makes me feel like I'm not special, so why should I even bother anymore?  to me, it seems like a preview of what might happen if a relationship were to happen.  if a guy really wanted me, he'd focus on me, just like how I'd focus on him :)

anne171216 · Answer

For girls, the one you like and others flirting This is intolerable, and if she does not like you then this is the thing does not matter. Also to say that not always the best, if she is only jealous because vanity

shutupandkissme · Answer

it depends on a girl btw..sometimes yeah it really work that is if you wanna know if she cares for you or not..

so now that she putted her attention to you when you start to fling with other girls yeah its worth trying haha!

people are like that.. they ignore but when they notice you start ignoring them that is where they start to notice you...

hope it gives you a lot of thoughts haha

Anonymous · Answer

Not on me personally, if they do that to me I basically hate him after that.. I don't like games and won't put up with them

Anonymous · Answer

it only works if she's interested in you and the flirting isn't taken too far but yeah it can work...just like it works on guys sometimes.  Has to be done in just the right way though and she has to have at least *some* interest in you already.

Anonymous · Answer

yes and no. Yes to an extent it definitely makes you think about him more but after a while a girl will probably give up on you and assume your not interested or a player.

lustful1 · Answer

its sad to say yea if she likes you but if she doesn't then no it doesn't

Anonymous · Answer

I think so! my ex started flirting with my best friend and it's getting under my skin. But keep in mind, this girl has to at least be a big part of your every day life to get her to notice.

NayaAbouzaid · Answer

Once I see him ith someone else even if I did like I would totaly forget about him , I hate competing and I hate drama so I just leave

Anonymous · Answer

yes. one time I became so obsessive that I masturbated to the guy 3 times in one night. it drives me wild, but I hate it :)

Viennabad · Answer

In some situations yes, but then again jealousy is a major turn off.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I would think you're a flirt and you're not serious

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I do actually and they're mostly Mexican so it makes it creepier.

Anonymous · Answer

i think so.. its basic human psycology that we want what other people have, it might be a "turnoff" at first but in the long run, she'll be more attracted to you.

LuigiisBetter · Answer

Hahaha yah, because girls are just bitches to each other :x

victorc_10 · Answer

Sometimes man! Some people can't stand to see the one they are into flirting with somebody else! Its up to you to know witch one are this way!

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like breaking his neck.

kayla320 · Answer

Yes. We get jealous but only if we like the guy.

answermethis20 · Answer

yes every time

piinkpriincess · Answer

Depends on the girl.

Girls, does jealousy really work in flirting?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Does making girls jealous actually work to get them interested?

Girls, does jealousy really work in flirting?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Does making girls jealous actually work to get them interested?

We're glad to see you liked this post.