Is being straight forward in approaching women a good thing?

[michitas]

question for women:

how would you react, if you were in a bar, a guy came up to you and said "hi. I don't want to be rude, but I've been looking at you from over there for quite some time now and I find you very interesting and attractive. I would really like to get to know you a bit more. would you like to go and have a coffee with me some time?"

how would you react to that? would this have a positive impact or would you just think "what kind of a creep is this"?

[Alpha82]

You need to have a conversation with a girl before trying to set up a date, getting her number, etc. If you just straight up ask for her number without haven spoken and not knowing anything about her, she is going to think you just want to have sex with her and not care about who she is. Or like the other girl said, she'll be opposed because she has no idea who you are. Therefore, you most likely won't get her number, even if she thinks you're handsome and you'd be perfect for each other.

Strike up a conversation and talk to her for at least a few minutes. Find a common interest or something about her you genuinely think is interesting. Tell her that you have to go, but that you'd love to continue talking about xyz, whatever it was, then ask for her number, or even set up a date. There's no guarantee that she will go out with you, give you her #, etc. but you've at least shown her that you don't want to just bang her.

There's A LOT more to it than that when it comes to picking up girls, but that information is for me to know and for you to find out ;) Good Luck.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

It's very cliche and probably won't work. But its heck of a lot better than going up to a girl with a cheesy pick up line. If you really want to be str8forward then go ahead but drop the whole, I don't mean to be rude and you look attractive and interesting because its artificial. What's interesting about her? you don't even know her, and what's rude about approaching her? obviously she's attractive which is why you are approaching but be more casual about it, go up to her and immediately comment about the surroundings, something agreeable like the weather or the decor of the place you are in, get the convo rolling and then introduce yourself when the time is right.

[vmw2008]

I like straight forward, but I think it was a little too long, and she's not likely to accept a date from you at first sight without having talked with you first. Start more with, "Hi. I don't want to be rude but I've been looking at you over there for quite some time now and I think you're gorgeous." Then wait for her to answer and begin a conversation. Don't ask for her number or a date until you've talked with her a little bit first because she'll likely reject you simply out of fear of not knowing who you are.

[michitas]

I never ask for someones number...it has to be her own move to give it to me...

[vmw2008]

Why not? No offense but I'd have to imagine you get very few numbers if you really follow that rule.

[michitas]

getting numbers isn't my goal...my goal is to meet new people.

[Stacyzee]

I admire your boldness.

But your introduction would be way too long.

Its always great to make things short and simple.

"Hi,... you are one gorgeous young lady."

--wait for her response--

"Can I take you out sometime? maybe for some coffee? I would love to get to know you more."

I would feel very flattered if I were approached like this (which I have been.)

[CrystalMinds]

I'd prefer that over some lame-ass pick up line everybody uses.

It's a sign of confidence too I think, not hiding behind pre-chewed lines but just saying what you want. But if he just comes up to me bluntly and there's no smile or anything, well, bodylanguage is a big thing too, the biggest even.

[michitas]

I HATE pick-up lines...they're not a reflection of ones personality...or at least they are in a bad way. I just wanna be honest and straightforward... and I don't want to play games!

[CrystalMinds]

FINALLY a guy who doesn't wanna play games, haha! I don't know many of your kind, my friend. Ah well, some girls appreciate it, other girls don't. Depends on what they're looking for as well. If it's just a one night stand they want, it doesn't matter what you say as long as you look good. If it's something serious they want, they'll know you're the serious kinda guy ;)

[Anonymous]

As @amcurious says, if you have the looks to back it up, great.

But as a suggestion, I'd say : you're in a bar. don't ask her for coffee at some time, in the undetermined future.

Replace that with an offer to buy her a drink then and there, and maybe tell her that, if after talking to you for 5 minutes, if she wants to continue the conversation, she has to buy the next round.

One other minor point - I'd lose the adjective "interesting" to describe her. You can't say someone is interesting by looking at them. If you put that in, she *might* be the sort of person who sees it as an insincere line, and react accordingly.

I'm reminded of Martin Short in that movie, where he says to someone "I don't know you, I don't know your work, but I can tell you're very very talented"

[michitas]

1. I don't want to buy her a drink at a bar. I wanna get to know her at some other place, where I'll pay for the drinks depending on how the conversation was ;-)!

2. bars are loud and aren't THAT great for conversations with people you don't really know (my opinion).

3. actually you can determine if someone's interesting by looking at them. you can see how they act around other people. are they shy, open, loud, etc. if she was just sitting in a corner alone, I wouldn't call her interesting ;-)

[Jem_19]

I do agree, at the part where you probably shouldn't hit up the line about coffee sometime. I think that is a bit too soon to ask to be inclusive as your first line/sentence. I'd say stop at where you say attractive and replace the coffee with maybe perhaps, "may I introduce myself _ _ _ _ _ etc." Because by the last flattering line, you will probably have her smiling and she's bound to say something. And you'd sound like a gentle man, which is attractive!

& maybe don't ask her to buy the next

[vmw2008]

I agree with just about all of that except for saying that she has to buy the next round to keep talking to you. You should be able to pick up a vibe if a girl is using you or not. Basically, she won't be talking to you for an extended period of time if she just wanted to drink and bail. If you tell her to buy the next round and mean it, it'll probably come off very bad. Either let her walk away and end the convo if you don't want to pay, or offer the next round again to keep the convo flowing.

[Opinion Owner]

Offer the next round again?

No chance.

I'm not there to ply her with free drink all night.

[vmw2008]

Then don't offer. I simply said it was rude to ask and he'd probably get to talk to her longer if he offered. He was the one who approached her and wanted to talk to her after all. I'd be put off if a guy approached ME and then told me ME to buy him sh*t to keep talking to him.

[Opinion Owner]

I said she could get the second round, not the first.

I find it's one way to say a) I'm not plying you drinks trying to get laid b) I have confidence enough in my personality that you'll *want* to keep me around for at least a few minutes more c) I'm not expecting you to put out or give me your number just because I bought you a drink. You're not a commodity - I expect you to have your own financial independence.

Now, maybe none of that comes across. I don't know. But I've good luck with it.

[vmw2008]

I've never in my life had a guy ask me to buy the next round and mean it. Sure I've done it before with guy friends I was out with, but never for a total stranger that approached me. If a guy asked I'd be very put off, thinking he was now plying ME for drinks, and thinking that he's so amazing I should feel lucky he approached me. I honestly don't know any girl except the desperate ones that wouldn't be put off by a guy asking me to buy him a drink and meaning it. But hey my way works, I guess y

[vmw2008]

ours does too. We just shouldn't cross paths haha

[Konnour]

It's the only good option.

Girls hate pick-up lines. They laugh about them because they're amused.. but they never take that guy any seriously.

Just go and do it.

Also in such way the "feedback" time is way lower so you won't be wasting your time, compared to stupid games or mixed signals.

If she likes you - you're in!

If she doesn't - go for the next one. Nobody can please everyone.

[sef0181]

Positive impact as long as it was said in a friendly manner, just as you worded it. If a guy said "I think you're hot and we should hang out sometime" it would not have the same affect in the least.

I also think it's important to say that the guy would also have to be roughly the same age and not 'look creepy'. Judging from your picture you wouldn't qualify as looking creepy, just fyi.

[rockingpianoman]

well , women might say they like that - but my little experience and gut says that most of them will be thinking you're a little desperate player/creep ( depending on you looks you become a player or a creep...)

maybe your first part would do fine , a little bit straightforward flirting

but the second one , would like to know you more etc etc -> girl freaks out...

[amcurious]

if he is good looking and I like him too... then wow its an answered prayer... if he looks horrible then he is a creep... since you don't know what she thinks or feels about you just beat around the bush it will help you know her a better

[Brontosaurus]

"if he is good looking and I like him too... then wow its an answered prayer... if he looks horrible then he is a creep... "

You, miss, deserve a medal for your willingness to admit how that little "game" works. :)

[michitas]

how would you react if I came up to you :-)?

[the_black_mask]

So, if he's good looking it's a good thing, if he's ugly it's bad. So basically, you form an opinion from the jump, that if he's good looking, he's a good guy. Nice to see how shallow you are.

[CHRIS11796]

Wtf what's creepy to you?

[curiouschica]

I approve! lol It seems like a genuine statement...

[Xx_DRE_xX]

I honestly think you should be congruent & shameless when it comes to approaching women.

[michitas]

to what extent?

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Whatever you feel is congruent enough & within your character.

[larry69]

I always get accused of being creepy if I am straightforward,lol..not ugly I don't think.

[HateBeingSingleAspie]

yeah better than not approaching at all

[mine3]

personally, I think it's quite sexy