Why am I only getting approached by African American guys/men?

[Anonymous]

The majority of the time when I am out and about, in class, in the grocery store, or wherever, it seems as though black guys sooner or later find me and talk to me or chat me up.

I am an Asian female, long golden brownish hair, and I'm not curvy, although I am not stick thin, either (5'6 133 lbs).

Where I live, there are mostly rich white people, a few Hispanics and AA here and there as well. I rarely get approached by white men, but sometimes AA men or Hispanics will approach me.

I have recently lost 10 lbs and am currently on a strict vegan diet, and strangely it's mostly black or Hispanic guys that show interest in me or check me out...Not white guys :(

For example, when I'm grocery shopping or in some kind of store, if the cashier or bag-guy happens to be a black guy, then he will chat me up or make a short conversation with me.

I have nothing against Black or Hispanic guys. I'm just wondering why not a lot of white or Asian men approach me.

Does any girl here have the same experiences? Is this because I appear more approachable to minority men (since I am a minority myself)? Why don't white guys ever approach me? Am I heavy or unappealing to white men?

Updates

+1 y

And also, this goes out to all kinds of guys, not just Hispanic or black men...whenever any guy approaches me these days, I feel uglier, if you know what I mean, like they think I'm easy to talk to and I look like I'm one of the boys (I dress girlie and I don't think I look masculine in any form), but anyways, I am not flattered by any guy approaching me...I think I have a lot of issues with self esteem. Not just ordinary issues, really huge ones.

[Blue_eyed_beauty]

You don't have to talk back to them. Maybe the white guys you've met simply don't find you attractive (I'm not saying you aren't attractive, I don't know you, but everyone finds different people attractive). Maybe you just haven't met the right guy yet.

I don't understand why you would feel "ugly" just because a black or Hispanic guy approaches you though...You said "men are men" so why does a certain race approaching you make you feel ugly? I'm not accusing, I'm just curious. You shouldn't have a low self esteem, plenty of guys ARE approaching you, just not the ones you're into.

Although ( in my opinion, this is what I have witnessed) white guys don't gravitate towards Asian women as much as other minorities. Which is what you stated in your post. I agree with that, but that doesn't mean no white guy will like you. You just have to keep looking. Like I said, you just haven't met the right one yet. And I don't think you should lose any more weight. Just be yourself and you'll be fine.

[vishna]

Your statement has truth in it..you are a minority so are therefore are more approachable to other minorities :) be happy guys are into you haha

Maybe the white guys are taken, not looking, or (not good or bad really) not into people that aren't also Caucasian...lots of reasons that they might not be approaching you..maybe they think you're taken? :)

At least dudes are into you though..you don't sound grateful ..they aren't aliens lol

[Asker]

well, it's not really flattering when the wrong guys take interest in me...i feel uglier, I rather not be approached at all by any guy. :(

[vishna]

Lol if you feel ugly because a black or Hispanic man takes interest in you maybe you should tell them that up front and let them react to that...but in all seriousness unless they are straight up thugs or ooze sleaziness..if you feel uncomfortable with them approaching you you shouldn't be hit on at all because that's not an attractive attitude. Also, they are brave to go up to you ha ha give them at least that

[Asker]

yea, well most of them seem to be up to no good (kind of thuggish and ghettoish).

[vishna]

Lol then maybe the white guys are up to no good too..go to a bar or something or a dating site :)

And don't loose more weight!

[Anonymous]

1. What Asian nationality are you?

2. Black and latino guys are more open about approaching women on the street and are open about checking women out. White guys may look but they act more shy. Black and latinos are generally more outgoing culturally.

[Asker]

In regards to your 2nd point...I'm kinda wary about that whole theory...

And to answer your first Q, I'm a mix of Korean-Taiwanese

[Opinion Owner]

It's kind of true though. I've had a good amount of white and latin friends and I've lived in black neighborhoods, white guys are much less likely to just holla at random girls they don't know in public. They might hit on you if you're at a party/bar or friends with somebody they know, but not too much random girls. Trust me I'm black I know. It is very common to get hit on by black men if you're around them

[Anonymous]

In American, about 40% of Asian women marry outside of their race. The vast majority of those are to white men. White male/Asian female couples are the most numerous interracial relationship here. So basically, we are looking at 60% of Asian women being with Asian guys and maybe 38% being with white guys. It's definitely not due to lack of attraction from those two races of guys.

Your situation is a little weird. Like, it's the only place where this would be a huge issue, you know?

[Anonymous]

Not all of us white guys are into Asian women. Some of us prefer other types of women. Also, you could slim down a bit more. The Asian girls I've dated have all been slender, more so than other ethnic groups, and that was part of the appeal. With so many girls being fat, often times it is just a matter of being the thinnest and most approachable girl in the room. Some food for thought...

[Asker]

or maybe the thickest and most approachable...

aren't most average guys intimidated by really skinny, pretty girls?

[Opinion Owner]

Some guys are, I'm not and plenty of other guys aren't either. In a world full of fat women (and men), the average to thin one is queen/king. Slim down a bit more and also learn how to make eye contact with the guys you actually want to approach you, plus smile more. Do all of the above and I'm sure your results will change.

[pooponyourplate]

i like thick chinese girls with boobies and ass not the south east Asians that look like kids (no offence)

[AndyWes]

As I white guy, I would ask, do you make sure you seem open, and display interest when you see guys you are attracted to? I think we white guys are less likely to just strike up conversation, if she hasn't shown a little interest or at least seem open to being approached.

[Asker]

you really believe in that hype, that white guys are more "inhibited and shy" around girls?

I don't really believe it...men are men.

I wouldn't say I have the most approachable body language. I give off a withdrawn air around me, according to others. I'm very shy and quiet.

[Asker]

I tend to avoid eye contact with guys, especially if they are attractive.

[AndyWes]

I only ask girls out who display some interest back. :p. And I am white... it's not "inhibited and shy" it's that a new set of unofficial rules have come around. We just aren't as likely to approach a girl if she doesn't show a little interest, or at least look open.

And eye contact would be great if you want a guy to approach you. Avoiding eye contact says to me, "I really don't want to talk to you."

[Anonymous]

Are there average white dudes around too or just the rich ones? RIch guys tend to go for ultra-skinny chicks. You aren't fat or anything, but I see some of the women in these rich communities -- they are usually stick thin and half plastic.

[Asker]

well, you have part of it right...there are young white guys, who seem more liberal, but it's mostly businessmen and professionals around here.

Maybe I should lose more weight...

[Opinion Owner]

Why MUST you date a white guy? Tons of white guys seem to be really into Asian women, but as a white gal who is around your size -- the richer they are, the higher their standards of beauty. But to what point does it become "worth" it, if they expect their wife to get constant plastic surgery while they have mistresses that get younger and younger.

[Asker]

I never said I must date a white dude. just simply letting it out there and pondering over why I might be attracting certain races over others, when I don't fit the type of girl most typical AA men or HIspanic men go for

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I honestly don't have any idea ... just throwing out one possible theory. Another theory could be that you dress in a way that attracts certain men more than others, or that you aren't making eye contact with the guys you are most interested in, but do make eye contact with everyone else.

[Asker]

i dress pretty modestly...lol. seriously. I dress like a wallflower, but the men of wrong races hit on me. I never make any prolonged eye contact with any guy I see...I am really shy.

maybe I'm just simply not attractive to white men :(

[Opinion Owner]

It could just be THOSE white men. Try finding a place where more middle class white dudes hang out. Rich people, in general, tend to be pickier and have more requirements on thier list of superficial "musts."

[bDizzie]

White guys are more hesitant to approach unless there is a clear signal, like eye contact. But if you look away at the ones you find attractive, you will never get approached by white guys.

[Asker]

really?

[Anonymous]

im a white male and i dig girls from all ethnicitys but Asian girls i find the best. any way for me i have good physical features but i have health problems as well so even if i know there is a good looking girl looking at me i won't put much effort into trying to talk to her , this is just me personaly as i like to feel good about my self before i meet someone, but im also saying maby your fine and the guys have got the problems not you. or they got girlfreinds alredy :/