I fell for for a player! Is there any hope?

[mustang84]

I've had a "fling" with this guy for a little over a year. We're both in our late twenties. He's known to be a huge player and cannot commit well. He's told me he's crazy about me, loves me, etc. but over the last year we've had periods of time where I would get upset because he won't exclusively be in a relationship with me and we wouldn't speak for weeks. Eventually he would contact me again we'd start talking and the whole thing just cycles over and over. The deal is I told him I would be friends with benefits with no attachments (so we can quit getting in fights) but he doesn't like that and wants me to be crazy about him...wth? About a week ago he asked me to dinner and started telling me how selfish he is, how he uses women and how he's good at getting what he wants. He said he wanted me to know because he cared about me and wants me to be cautious. I asked him if this meant this is no chance for us and he said NO. The next day we hung out again and he just started telling me about a girl he slept with the other day (like it's just an ordinary thing!) of course I broke down starting crying, he freaked out and asked me why and I told him it was because he hurt me. Then we had a long talk, he again told me how much of a douche bag he is and that none of this was my fault, I was the perfect girl and to never change. I told him I didn't want to sleep together anymore, wanted to be friends but needed some space for a little while. He said OK. I'm confused...I feel he's pushing me away for my own good because he knows he hurt me? Please keep in mind, I am a smart girl not stupid, I just have a big heart and I love a challenge, however I know I cannot change someone, they must decide that themselves. Even as just friends I want to be there for him because I really do care for his well being and want to see him happy. I am in love with this crazy man for some reason. So, anyone have any advice? He is just playing me and I'm wasting my time? If he really cares will he contact me again or am I hoping for something that is likely doomed? Help please!

[WoodWizzard87]

Ahhh the proverbial trying to change a players mind/habits...

He's hot and cold for a reason. To make you keep guessing about him and always have himself on your mind. Lady he's playing the injured fawn and your suppose to be there to care for something that can't be healed. The dudes an emotional terrorist. You guys had specified that it was a fling or fwbs from the start and unfortunately you got feelings like many people do if the fling goes on too long. He can give you all that bullsh*t run around takin you out to dinner and playing the injured emotinally unavailable guy.

********any man who respected you as a woman and friend/benefits would never just blurt out talking about sex with a chick in front of another girl he's sleeping with. He DOESNT REPECT you. Cut all contact chica and get over him or you'll never get out of this hole.

[soaren]

I don't see how a relationship like that could ever be healthy.

The premise of most romance novels and movies is that the women gets the guy that has an issue committing. But they are just that - fiction.

Men like that seldom change. I honestly would move on.

[Moloch]

Nope..

[Anonymous]

Grow up and move on