My crush/coworker is a player. Should I give it a shot anyway?

[Anonymous]

So, I met a coworker at work who I really fancy, just like all straight girls do at my work. Yet, a friend of his told me he's a player and he isn't really into relationships.. But he often smiles to me, and he looks interested in me whenever we talk. Should I give it a chance? Or should I stay away from him to prevent myself getting hurt? Please help! x

[hulkster]

To be honest, I think you would be crazy to date a player. Just cause you have feelings for him, doesn't you mean you should date him.
Since I like to be logical about dating, let’s think about a player in terms of risk/reward.

What do you gain from dating the player? Well, think about it: you gain a rush of pleasure – serotonin, dopamine, endorphins. Aaaaand, come to think of it, that’s about it.

Because if you look at your history with players, you never get anything else out of them.
Consistency? No.
Security? No.
Kindness? No.
Unconditional love? No.
Future? No.

Here’s the deal: it’s fine for you to give this guy a chance, but (and this is a big but), tread carefully. If you know for sure that this guy is a player who has, as you say, “girl toys,” then you need to watch out for yourself because it’s very possible that he might do the same thing to you. At the same time, it’s also possible that he’ll treat you differently. You never know what will happen – that’s why you need to decide for yourself and not let your friends make this decision for you.

[hulkster]

In this situation, I think it’s best to take things slowly and get to know each other before you jump into anything serious. Be honest with him! Let him know how you feel about him, but also let him know that you’re aware of his reputation and while you want to give him a chance, you need to do so slowly.

[hulkster]

You’ll be able to figure this out pretty quickly once you see his reaction to that. If he can respect that and treat you the way you want to be treated, then great! That shows that he cares about how you feel and likes you enough to do things differently. If he refuses to do this and just wants to jump into hooking up or whatever, then take that as a bad sign. That means that he only cares about what he wants and isn’t worth dating.

[hulkster]

Just as a warning: if you decide to give him a chance, it might not be too easy. You’ll have to deal with your own self-doubt, first of all, but you’ll also have to deal with your friends and other people telling you that what you’re doing is stupid. You’ll need to learn to tune those people out and follow your heart. Only you know what’s right for you, so if you feel like he’s different and will treat you well, then date him. You don’t always have to listen to your friends. Besides, it is possible for people to change. Sometimes it’s worth it to give others the benefit of the doubt.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself, what makes you different from all those other women who fancy him? If you know what you're going into and you're just wanting to get laid sure go ahead. But if you're expecting a relationship ship out of this than I'd err on the side of caution. I've always lived by one main rule when it come so to dating. Never get your honey where you get your money. If things go south w a relationship in the work place, then things could turn out to be bad. You'd have to see that asshole everyday, work w him or quit or maybe he'll quit.

[DeeperMeaning]

If he's a known player why would you want to date him? Why would you even find him attractive? If you feel it's worth the risk then do as you please, but understand no woman is special enough to make a man change his desires. A man who changes does so from his own will, it's by his own doing. A woman might spark something in him that encourages him to do better, but please don't go into the situation thinking you're that different from other girls. If he has a player mindset before you and likes it, chances are he's going to have that same mindset while he is with you and after you. HE has to be the one that wants to change. If HE doesn't want that and if HE doesn't respect you, then prepare for heartache.

[Asker]

The problem is, I've heard it from just one person and not from other people.. Sorry if that was confusing but you're right.. :)

[DeeperMeaning]

You should never formulate an opinion of someone based off of the things other people say. Whether it's one person or a hundred people saying the same thing it is unfair to the individual. Their experience is their's to have but so is yours. You may not have the same experience. With that being said, while it's nice to give people a chance it's also best to tread carefully. Not just with someone who has a bad reputation but with people in general. I know a guy who has an overall reputation of being respectful, and kind, and overall a really nice guy who loves to go to church. He's getting divorced and tried to guilt trip me when I didn't have sex with him. Regardless of his nice guy reputation he's turned out to be, not that nice. So at the end of the day do as you please, just be smart about it. Set boundaries, take things slow and don't ignore the red flags.

[iminhell]

If you want give it a chance. But I would say definitely don't expect to "change him" or expect that his player tendencies will end. Most girls going for players hope that will happen and expect it to, but they are called players for a reason. Do if you want go for it and if it goes really well and he doesn't play you that's awesome, but just be wary about it and just realize that in the end he may just play you like other girls.

[bytes]

If your needs align go for it. But if your looking for a relationship, his the wrong guy

[sineater8]

Just go into it with the expectation that it won't last, but it will be fun. Think of it as a roller coster, you going to get on, take the ride and at some point you know it will end but your not sure where.

Hook up, have fun, pick his brains, study him and his nature, and if possible you choose when to end the relationship.

and you may get surpised, you could end up being the girl he falls for permentently, its happend before to many players.

[johnm2013]

"... yet he smiles at me" ... as if smiling at you means he loves you sweetly above all other girls... and doesn't mean "he knows you like him, like all other girls do... and he'll seduce u sweetly and make u cum our little legs off, if u let him like her knives u secretly want it."

[johnm2013]

the real issue is that you "WANT IT" and dont want to get hurt. but you "WANT IT" from him so bad that u wanna risk it. so you must DO IT and do it fast with out investing emotions into it - which is what would leave u hurt. Joist drop our ego... go after what u REALLY want for once in your life... smile back at him.. go for drinks, invite him to your place that very night and let him FUCK YOU untill you can't cum any more!! takes shower in the AM and be clear it was just a fucking.. not a date.. not love. and move on with it. problem solved! and u GOT IT GOOOOD!!!

[OGEuphonium]

Give him a chance, but be aware that he may be a player. They could be rumors, but they also could not be. Just go in cautious. Where do you work if you don't mind me asking?

[Asker]

I work as a princess at a theme park.. He pretty much does the more physical work such as maintaining stuff :)

[lovelylia]

No, he won't magically change for you if that's what you're expecting (yes that sounds harsh), a player will always be a player.

[BellePepper]

Absolutely not! You work with him AND you know he's a player!

Be smart and don't get involved with him at all.

[Twistboy101]

Well you can, but expect the worst... expect him to probably talk to another girl... expect yourself to be his side chick if he's a player... expect the worst but hope for the best...

[JohnDoe3000]

You already know the right answer, and you'll probably ignore it anyway...

[Cody01]

Gonna get hurt because he is interested in short term and you seem long term.

https://youtu.be/OckSITiSaTg

[Chanel1981]

Since you work together it's probably best to find someone else. That can get really uncomfortable

[Asker]

Well there are multiple relationships in my work environment so it's accepted and we all do different things so we don't get to spend much time together during work but I agreed, it would be a bit weird sometimes

[Chanel1981]

If it ends up heading south and you have to see him everyday it would be terrible!

[Anonymous]

Pro tip... the vast majority of women on this site, and everywhere else, ask questions they already know the answer too... But they want others to validate their bad decisions...

[ryebread]

Frankly it's not just the vast majority of women but men as well, however I completely agree

[Shiba1490]

Avoid him. He's a player. You can't change him like in the movies

[Info4life4you]

No I wouldn't date anyone at work cause if something went wrong or cheated on you they could start opening a can of worms and get you terminated/dismissed/involuntarily terminated

[luv2plzr]

try it if you want to be played! You said it yourself! Do you think you'll change him? YOU WONT!

[UntoldTruths]

Depends on what you're looking for, if its just for something casual and fun go ahead but if you're looking for something serious and long term. It probably wouldn't be the best idea, I mean he is a player.

[Ron_NM]

Not if you just want to be another number of conquests to him. He just want to say yeah i had her. he will not care

[RedThread]

He's probably interested for one thing only. You gotta decide if you want that or not.

[bondobilly]

don't shit in your own back yard. don't piss in your own pool. don't let him dip his pen in the company inkwell. don't do it.

[tylermason]

watch his behavior before making a move. does he flirt with all the girls at work? is he cocky? those behavior scream player

[Anonymous]

Most businesses don't allow interoffice relationships. It's bad image for the company.. and he's likely "just being nice" because you're a coworker. Don't confuse it

[akadatank44]

Why would you want to even give him a chance? You know he's a player AND you work eith him.

[AydenHazor]

It's worth a shot. Be careful, but don't let someone else get between mutual interest

[JSmuve]

Do it! I really wanna answer your question you'll post in a couple months asking what you did wrong when he leaves you for another girl after hooking up with him.

[Asker]

Don't be a cunt please or get out

[JSmuve]

Ooooo, salty language

[Vyrakh]

I'd advise against it. However, if you're going for it, then play to win.

[Anonymous]

No wait for someone nice it's gonna save you heartache on the long term

[actualsaadsheikh]

To be honest, the guy who told you all this is probably jealous of him, ask the girls at work

[Marvel_263]

just stay away go for the good shy guy who's scared to talk to you!

[TheArchangel00]

No run girl! Get outta there!

[Dingsbums]

Just go for it. There is no dream prince anyway

[Asker]

Yeah well a princess needs a prince right? (I work as a fairy tale princess, what a coincidence)

[Dingsbums]

And let me guess the guy u have a crush on works as the prince. Then u should really go for it

[DrMouse]

Probably should avoid him.

[roy_ricky09]

Depends on what you are looking for

[theray99]

what's ur Skype name?

[Anonymous]

Of course
What could go wrong?

[Nahid1234]

No, you'll get hurt

[Revolver_Ocelot]

yolo

[Anonymous]

don't waste time

[SaintDarry]

Stay Away!!