Point blank, do YOU like her? If so, not sure why you two are playing this game. Simply ask her out. If she rejects you, let her know that there won't be a next time. No one has time for these games. I really don't like females that do such things, especially that get jealous and act b*tchy towards another female over a guy (not saying you're not worth it, but..anyway)
Personally, I wouldn't want to be around someone who speaks ill of a complete stranger simply because they're "dating" you. Not only is it not healthy, it's flat out fricking weird and a HUGE turn off.
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Your right if she really cared about you she would want a relationship now i wouldn't wait for her you could only wait so long. She sounds like she has some serious commitment issues.
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