Why girls are so rude after rejection?

Question

i am 22...i hv been alwyz a shy guy..never had much frds who are girls..so it started 3 months ago..we are classmates...she started d conversation with me for d first time...as time passed we became frds...

she used 2 give me smile daily..stare me al d time...so I started liking her and thought she also likes me...so some days ago I told her on fb that I like her...but she said we are only frds...it ws worst feeling 4 me I ws so confident that she used to like me but it ws al my misunderstanding...she said that we can remain good frds but in clg she ignores me...don't make eye contact...i want 2 talk to her but don't know whether I will be able 2 control my feelings...when I see her talking and flirting with other guys it just hurts me alot...why is she behaving like dis ...is she selfish and doesn't care about my feelings?

ShesSoSilly · Accepted Answer

I'm normally not some spelling and grammar Nazi as we all make mistakes... but I have to say that I honestly had a hard time reading that. I don't have any intentions of coming across as rude and I apologize if you take this that way, but I don't think it would hurt taking the time to type the letter to two that you left out of certain words.

Now to answer your question...

I'm sorry that you have to deal with rejection, it sucks and no one likes it. At the same time everyone has to deal with it in life.

No one here can tell you why she is acting that way or what she is feeling. I can only assume she may be a flirty person in general giving you mixed signals, or you could of just read it all wrong. I think that happens to a lot of people though, so don't feel down on yourself or anything.

She may be ignoring you because she feel uncomfortable now, or maybe she doesn't want to lead you on by continuing to be as friendly as she was. The only way you will know the real reason is by confronting her and if you cannot or do not want to do that, you're going to have to try your best to move on. Whatever you do remember that we cannot control our feelings. So we can't exactly say it was her decision to not have the same feelings. You either have them or you don't. She may not know exactly how you felt about her so she's not thinking anything of it when flirting with other guys. Maybe she is a mean spirited person and she is doing it to let you know she's not interested.

I have had guy friends who wanted more and I ended the friendship (not abruptly but over time we stopped talking and seeing each other, some permanently others just for awhile) because they wanted more and I just didn't feel it. The reason the friendship ended was because I know it to be true that you cannot just flip the switch and see someone as a "friend" when you feel more for them. Its too difficult. Add to that I would feel uncomfortable any time I wanted to be around another guy because I know it would be hurting them and that's the last thing I wanted to do.

As you can see my answer is full of "maybes" because as I said, no one here can really know the answer to your question.

Just know that not every woman is like that and don't let this one bad experience ruin anything for you. This one girl doesn't define the man you are or what you're capable of having in your life. Move onto someone who is going to appreciate you(:

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Aw you're getting a lot of hate for grammar and disappointing her for not talking face to face and stuff...

Well to be honest, if it were ME, I would just be intimidated. When you reject someone, sometimes it's easier to just ignore the person, rather than reach out by making eye contact or saying hi. The reason is, rejection sucks. If she rejected you, she knows that you'd probably find some way to reject her in person by leaving her hanging when she says hi, scowling at her or something.

Even if she KNOWS you would never do anything mean, it's still a little scary to deal with someone who might be mad or hurt by us. It's the same kind of scary as helping someone who just broke their leg. It's scary because you're afraid of hurting them by having any contact at all. At least...this is how I felt when I was younger and first had to reject people. As I got older and was rejected myself, I began to realize what it feels like, what response makes rejection feel better, and what behaviors from other people made it worse. I noted that it takes a lot of courage to be truly kind to people sometimes, but this is the right thing to do.

It's the same kind of courage it takes to apologize to someone after you did something wrong. It's embarrassing, uncomfortable, and things seem easier if you can just avoid the whole situation...but this makes rejection for the other person much more painful! It takes some maturity to put the other person's feelings above your own comfort. She may just not have this maturity yet.

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

Your feelings for her are probably making her feel awkward and male or female whenever we like someone and they don't like it us back it can make us want them even more because they are not available to us, it's one of those sad things us humans do to ourselves we always want what we can;t have because we are such curious and adventurous beings. Generally though when a girl is rejected she takes the hint fair and square but guys tend to be persistent in their quest to get the girl to like them back even after the second time we told them the truth we have had too much experience about that so the only way we know is to just not act friendly to them to finally make them get the hint.

It's the only way that seems to work, guys regularity take friendliness from a female as a sign of interest (it's not just you) as males are more primal than females, they look more to their human primal instincts but females are more easily able to overcome that and they really really like it when girls actually show them interest but they can get confused very regularly with friendliness and flirting, but trust me just because we talk you doesn't mean we like you it just means we may also think you may be a good friend to us, it's not easy finding good male friends though due to the regular confusion, I never know why... but males seem to really enjoy the company of women and respond more wildly to it than females respond to male company, my only guess is the difference between how we select our mates.

yopyopyop · Accepted Answer

You have made a mistake, by saying that you liked her through Facebook instead of face to face, after talking to her for a while.

Maybe she was interested in you, and maybe she got disappointed by this. Or maybe you wanted to think she was interested in you, I don't know.

Anyway, girls (not women. girls) can jump from heat to coldness in a second. Lack of experience and self-entitlement.

Just move on. It is not the first time, and it won't be the last time you are not treated fairly in life.

martyfellow · Accepted Answer

She is selfish, yes; most people are. She probablyhad a crush onyou for a while, but got over that, and feels maybe embarrassed by the attention she was giving you then.

Be friendly with her, smile, and keep conversations light. She will feel nervous if you act too romantic toward her, as you have seen, so don't talk to her every day.

She'll appreciate your backing away for a while, and who knows, maybe she will start flirting again! She does with other guys.

snowangle · Answer

When a guy friend shows interest in us and we don't feel the same, we immediately start worrying that we've unintentionally been giving him "signals." We don't want you to mistake our friendliness for flirtiness, so we don't act friendly.

MissBrittiany · Answer

Not every girl will always like you hunny, and when this happens in life, the number one thing to do is.. Put yourself out there make it known that you like her, and when you get shut down , act liek you don't care, it don't bother you at ALL ! Move on to the next start flirting with her friends or other girls even if you don't plan to persue! Good luck sweetie!

Anonymous · Answer

It doesn't sound like she is being rude. Sounds more like she just feels awkward around you now and isn't sure how to act.

confugirl · Answer

That grammar. Seriously.

She feels very awkward that you confessed your feelings to her and there's the possibility that she doesn't want to lead you on by remaining friendly. As for flirting with other guys, if she isn't in a relationship with you, then there's nothing wrong with her flirting with other guys. She even rejected you, so what did you expect? Whatever jealousy you might be feeling is entirely your problem, not hers.

kangaru · Answer

I guess she is trying to keep a distance so as not to cause further misunderstanding and also probably she felt bit awkward.

blueberry92 · Answer

because you rejected her? why would she have any friendly feelings toward you?

Anonymous · Answer

We can afford to be. Guys don't know how replaceable they really are. Besides that doesn't sound like she was being rude.

Why girls are so rude after rejection?

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