Why do girls get awkward with you after they reject you?

[Anonymous]

I've always wondered why girls get awkward after they reject me. I'll ask a girl out and she'll reject me, most reject me in a nice manner and all is well. I can handle rejection, so if a girl I like and want to get to know better says "no" then it isn't an issue. I don't get angry, I don't get upset, I accept her answer and I won't ever ask her again. I draw a line under the sand and carry on with life as per usual.

I'd even like to remain civil or eventually become friends with some of these girls at a later date. However I find that all of the girls that have rejected me have then gone on to become awkward around me, they'll ignore me and the most recent girl to reject me acts as though I don't even exist.

I just don't get it, why does there needs to be such awkwardness? It's not awkward for me, I'm fine with it, so why aren't most of the girls I've asked out? I can't be that ugly and repulsive surely? haha!

[Theguyoverthere]

When girls (who aren't adamant on the "guy must approach me" immaturity) approach a guy, they've usually liked them for a really long time and wanted to say something and had a crapload of feelings built up for an extended period of time. So they feel like you went through the same bunch of feelings.

What they don't realize is that you're taking your time and inquiring to see interest to see if there would be feelings if you two got to know each other further. It's very different from all the stuff they bottled up inside their heads when they asked a guy out. If they got turned down going through the first thing I mentioned, they've probably felt devastated from being turned down and assumed that you went through the same thing when you shrugged it off and moved on.

[Asker]

But why start ignoring me and acting as though I don't even exist? I just find baffling really! I mean I don't mind rejection, but I guess I'll just have to be the better, more mature person and deal with it.

[Theguyoverthere]

They're probably taking it way too far and thought you were practically idolizing them like they were "the one" when you thought nothing of it. So they're rejecting you makes them think that you thought much more of them then they really are.

[Asker]

That's just sheer arrogance on their part! I don't believe in 'the one' anymore than I believe in Pixies, Gargoyles and Gremlins! I've just got to be the more mature person and let water slide off the duck's back.

I just don't understand all the palava surrounding rejection, it really isn't all that bad and it would be nice not to have girls making me wish I hadn't bothered asking them after watching their behaviour in the aftermath.

[TedStar]

They are over thinking the situation. They become hyper aware of you behavior especially towards them. Since generally speaking a lot of friendly behavior could be seen as flirty behavior some girls will purposely start doing or not doing a lot of things which is unnatural and will appear awkward. As long as you do you , you can let them revel in their awkwardness

[Asker]

The thing is when they start acting awkward it makes me feel awkward, so then I become defensive in body language and i go back into my proverbial shell. So it ends up being both us just ignoring each other and that's a crying shame really because it makes me seem like the dude that 'can't handle rejection' and the truth couldn't be further from the truth.

[TedStar]

That is why it is important for you to actively do you. I know it can be difficult but if you can show that it doesn't affect you then you'll be good

[Asker]

Yeah of course, next time I see her, it will just be business as usual and however she reacts is a reflection of her and not me! I'm just delighted that I am finally able to confident walk up to a woman and ask her out. So I'm getting less shy as I get older which is a bonus.

[TedStar]

That is what I want to hear :D

[Asker]

Cheers man! You've been a massive help.

[carebearagent]

No you are not ugly and repulsive.

Some don't want to mislead you.

There are some guys who might ask a girl out then if the girl rejects them, they start to become possessive, want to be in her business or just flat out weird.. Some may even start thinking that they are actually dating, even if they are only friends... I think that the females that become awkward around you after they reject you might have got the wrong impression and are misjudging you.

So my advice is to ask them if it's okay to remain friends? Then just treat them like they're friends, nothing more.

[Asker]

I'm not one of those guys believe me! I take no as no was meant to be taken. I take maybe as a no as well and "I'm busy" as a no as well. I'm pretty clued up for a man that isn't the best with women! But yes, I can understand where you are coming from, but being ignored for doing nothing wrong is pretty harsh I think.

As for friendship? Not after this behaviour, if I was interested in friendship the ignoring has put an end to it. I will remain civil to her and all girls who do this, but I won't seek friendship from that anymore than I'll continue to seek anything romantic, it just won't happen.

[existing_not_living]

I don't get awkward but a lot of times girls get awkward because they feel bad about rejecting you. They don't know how to act around you anymore so instead they just kind of avoid you. When my friend told me he liked me I felt terrible that I didn't like him back because I was with someone but I made sure not to be awkward with him because he was one of my closest friends.

[Asker]

They shouldn't feel bad about rejecting me. They owe me nothing and the girl in question was nice about it. Her behaviour afterwards like many others before her does leave somewhat of a sour taste in my mouth, purely because I can handle rejection and I'm always respectful towards the girl. If I started swearing at her, or throwing my toys out of the pram then yeah her ignoring me is understandable. But I'm just going to let sleeping dogs lie, but it would be nice to meet a girl who could handle the aftermath a bit more maturely instead of 'treading on egg shells'.

[throwit]

I always see a guy different after I reject him. Like great he has feelings for me and everything he does km going to take as an innuendo or as flirtatious and he's always going to try and convince me to like him.
Its awkward. I feel like I'll eventually need to reject him again -_-

[Asker]

I don't ask twice, I will never, ever ask a girl out more than once. However I do believe in being civil to people. Now if she wants to ignore me that's fine, then I shall do the same if it makes things easier for her.

Believe you me, I'm already in the process of moving on from this girl and given the fact I haven't liked her for very long makes it all the more easier to move on from.

[Lolososo]

I am exactly at your situation
Few things I can think of:

1) Self insecurity or trust issues (experiences from the past), those girls are drama stay away from them,

I do feel sorry for their past but it's reality in many cases.
2) The way you approach them and what you said?

If you did it in person will have to much effect on viewing you from now on, that is very powerful reason to make them become awkward towards you

But through text will give the woman more time to think and process before responding

3) Do they all know you for couple encounters? Or you asking them right away from the first encounter?

We men like women in few seconds or minutes
Women (in my culture) these days even if they like you they won't show it to you right away, they are good noticing you just starting liking them.

Asking a woman out becomes so hard these days, the girl or woman need to trust you first, (according to my culture) not generalizing the situation.

4) You are approaching wrong type of women

Get the one who shows interest and match your feelings & energy.

[sherlocked]

I am really really good friends with two guys I turned down. The third one is just an acquaintance (we play chess online :P). The rest I am in touch with through fb.
I don't see the point in ignoring them. I mean crushes happen. Not a big deal. Then you eventually move on so why ruin a friendship over something so temporary?

[Asker]

We're not friends and I doubt we ever will be friends. But it would be nice if we could at least be civil with each other. At the end of the day, all I did was ask her out and all she did was tell me she isn't interested. I honestly don't understand why mountains must be made out of molehills.

I do echo your sentiments though.

[ThatShortChic]

Well I'm very shy so when a guy comes to ask me out and I reject him I feel terrible and guilty afterwards for not liking him back. I try not to be awkward around them though and act as nothing happened.

[Asker]

That's the best way to approach the matter - act as though nothing happened and keep it civil.

[jacqueline15]

idk, they probably see you as 'liking' them now, and feel it's awkward if it's not mutual. Girls are like that, we think too much.

[Asker]

Fair enough, I just think it's juvenile and petty behaviour and I don't understand it. But oh well, I'm sure I'll get over it and deal with it. :)

[washize]

Probably think you'll go all Elliot Rogers on them. Many people can't handle rejection. You never know when a "no" to someone is going to result in getting your face bashed in or murdered.