Boyfriend says he thinks I'm too skinny, advice?

[Anonymous]

THIS IS IN NO WAY TO ATTRACT ATTENTION. This is a serious issue I have.

I'm 5'4 and weigh 110 lbs.

I would post a picture but there's no way to accurately show what I'm talking about without me being basically naked so that's a no go :p

I will, however, post internet pictures that are close to what I personally look like.

woman's torso

^^The first link is almost exactly what my torso looks like from the front view (minus the boobs. I'm a small C and I haven't a clue what the image is). And I'm maybe a tad more ribby but barely. If I don't put my arms up you can't see my ribs.

body side view

^^ The one on the left is what I tend to look most like from the side view but depending on the day I vary between the three.

Just hopefully giving you a frame of reference.

My thighs don't touch (barely) and if I strike the "model pose" you can see my hip bones and rib cage. I don't want to say I'm model thin, but I'm pretty close.

Anyway, he told me in passing the other day that he felt I was too thin and that he'd find me more attractive if I gained weight.

Only I don't want to gain weight nor am I physically able to. I don't eat the healthiest and I don't work out excessively and I still don't change my body shape.

I'm kind of hurt he said he wasn't attracted to me the way I am.

Not sure what the question is here but...what do I do? Should I try to gain weight? Stay the way I am?

What's the advice you have for me?

[Anonymous]

Don't be afraid of lifting weights. You won't look freaky anytime in the near future - your natural hormones will see to that. Main thing: hit those squats. But seriously, check out this YouTube channel. link

Not only does it list various routine for the home and the gym (breaking each exercise down motion by motion, educating the viewer on the muscles worked as well as the proper form to use and various tips to help you get the most out of the time you spend.), it also goes over general guidelines for different diets for people with different goals. You can gain weight (while maximizing muscle growth), maintain weight, or lose weight.

Don't do any of this for your boyfriend. If you decided to get into fitness and go that route, do it for yourself. I'm not trying to say that you should try to look buff or ripped, but most guys do like to legs with a little bit of shape and thickness to them as well as a butt that looks like...like...you do squats. That's the only way I could finish that one.

[sovetskii13]

You are on the skinny side. Your weight is within the recommended weight range, but it's on the low side. If you're 5'4" then your recommended weight should be between 108 and 132.

Try to exercise more. Lift some light weights or something. Gain some muscle. Your boyfriend was not trying to make you feel bad and was not saying that you're ugly due to your low weight. He said it because being underweight could be as bad as being overweight. He just wants you to put some of your attention onto making sure you keep your body healthy. Health is the most important factor.

[PinkAcid]

youre almost exactly the same as me, I'm 5,3 and 112lbs but I don't have your boobs mine are As and my butt is bigger.

dont try to change for him, I can't gain weight either I've got a fast metabolism and I've tried in the past because people made comments but I've not got any bones sticking out and my bmi is in the normal range so I've stopped worrying about it.

i would also be hurt if my boyfriend didn't like the way I looked and asked me to change, it'd soon be a different story if you said the same thing to him.

[Amelia17]

According to the BMI chart 110lbs is the lowest weight that a person 5'4 should be. That being said a person who is 5'4 can be between 110lbs and 140 pounds to be in the "normal range". So your not underweight as long as your eating healthy and exercising, you will stay healthy. That being said you should have a talk with your boyfriend, you should tell him how you feel when he tells you things like that. You deserve a good man who will appreciate you and your body! every girl does! good luck!

[martyfellow]

If your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you, come and see me. I like the looks of you, just fine!

You don't need an insensitive stupid boy friend. You may be on the thin side, but not in any unhealthy way, and 'll be you look great in most clothes; it's just in a bathing suit that people will see your ribs.

[pickledxtofu]

You're just skinny fat

Which is fine, but you lack definition and tone which probably makes you appear super thin

It was still an insensitive thing to say, but a forced apology probably won't make you feel better.

Talk to him about how it made you feel. "It made me feel (insert emotion) when you said XYZ "

Discuss it with him

Maybe try lifting weights

[Flippydaydream]

are you 18, if you are by 21-23 you will naturally weigh 10 pounds more, this is when a women thickens up.

[Asker]

I'm 20.

[Anonymous]

Just stay the way you are. If your current boyfriend thinks he can get you to change to his liking he will ask you to change something else about yourself.

If doesn´t like you the way you are leave him.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Not too skinny at all. Stay the way you are, and if he doesn't like it maybe consider the relationship.

[Anonymous]

get really really fat and see if the world treats you better.\

:/

This would be like me complaining that I trip over my penis sometimes.

:/

[jacquesvol]

As long as you don't trip over mine...

[jacquesvol]

Skinny but not yet anorexic.

Weight will grow on you naturally.

[Anonymous]

Girl, don’t listen to them. They love anorexic based women, because of the beauty standards. I personally like curvy women because they look feminine and not androgynous. You can and you should gain weight.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has their preference, I think you're great.