Asked a girl out for dinner, got a weird answer?

Question

Hey guys and gals, I'll keep this short since nobody likes reading a block of text.

I recently asked a girl that volunteers at my work out to dinner this weekend (sushi, if that matters) and her response was "I'll have to think about it". So we said our goodbye's (I usually see her once a week, one of the reasons I asked her out), and she said "I'll see you next week" which pretty much ruled out any sort of date for this weekend.

My question would be, was this just a polite way to turn me down? Or should I wait and see if she mentions it again (I really don't want to bug her about it)?

Too me this just seems to be a kinda round-about way of shooting me down, but I'm rather confused. I got the feeling that she's at least a little bit interested in me (she seemed to be giving off some classic signs that she might be interested, laughing at bad jokes, blushes a little when I talk to her, etc). Or maybe she just didn't want sushi?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

lollipopsforyou · Accepted Answer

Well, If a girl says something like "I'll have to think about it" , "we'll see" or something like that it would probably be for one of these 3 reasons:

1. I don't want to go on a date with you , but I think you're nice enough to not want to be rude, and don't want you to hate me. So even if I'm not interested in you that way, I like you as a friend and want to continue talking to you (If this is the case with your girl, there is a bright side: You can get her to like you as she gets to know you better and finds out you are interesting, there's already something about you that interests her at some point)

2. I'm attracted to you, but I think is too soon for you to be asking me out, or I haven't even decided if I like you yet (If this is the case with your girl, there's still a chance too, you should get to know her better before asking her out again)

3. I'm shy, or don't know how to act around guys. If this is the case, you should wait a little longer but ask her again when the two of you are more comfortable around each other.

I took into consideration that you mentioned there where signs of her being interested in you, because that makes me think you have a chance and that she wasn't trying to shut you down.

Whatever the reason is, I suggest you keep treating her like you used to before that happened so that she feels comfortable and you get to know each other better. Best of lucks to you! :)

Moonrisekitten · Accepted Answer

Ahhh... Sounds like a fun girl. That's something I would have said if I were single and a guy I liked asked me out. I definitely wouldn't say that as an alternative for no, that's just... Kinda mean. I would much rather say something like "I can't." Or "I'm sorry but I'm not looking to date right now." If I didn't like the guy. That would be me being nice about saying no. If I was her, I'd imagine I'd say "I'll think about it", with a smile. Just to make sure you thought about me over the weekend. Not as a game but more as a flirt. But if she doesn't bring it up again, she could just be waiting to see if you care enough to bring it up again yourself (probably something I would also do), then ask her once more, "Soooo about that sushi?". I'm sure you're not getting rejected. But that's my opinion. Please do let me know how it goes though:)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

In my opinion, she is either rejecting you or for some reason she actually does need to think about it. For instance, if she was trying to decide between you and another guy and she wanted to think about who to go for. Or if she wanted to think about whether or not it would work out. By the way she phrased it though, it seems like it's more likely that she just rejected you but didn't want to hurt your feelings by directly saying no so she said that instead in hopes that you wouldn't want to have to ask her again (like you said, you don't want to bug her about it). Sorry

markacealps · Accepted Answer

He I would suggest you one thing, why are you only stuck onto dinner only, if you think she is little a bit interested in you, you can ask her for other things as well. No gal will go to someone at dinner, at night for first time. You should ask her to go in a public place at day time in a park or a mall nearby your area. There she can feel good and comfortable going with you. And if everything would be OK, after sometime you can request her for a dinner. You have asked her twice or thrice may be but she has not refused but excused your proposal for next time, it means change your proposal and try to take her somewhere at day time. Dinner can be her next step in relationship like this.

rowlurorowf · Accepted Answer

She's had a week to think about it, and didn't respond; she acted like you never asked her. This, to me, says it was a nice way of turning you down (even if she meant it at the time, the fact that she didn't ask you about it when you next saw each other is the turn-down).

If you really want to know, ask her. "Hey, just wanted to know if you've thought about going out with me. If you don't like sushi, we can always do something else." Leave it open ended and let her respond.

MissyMel8 · Answer

In my opinion this is not a rejection. I don't know how well you know her? I would have responded the same way if it was a guy I did not really know and only saw once a week. I think once you get to know her better, you could definitely get a date out of her! Find out places she might like and offer that as a suggestion. She might not be into sushi lol you never know. Continue to act the same way around her. Make it known your interested. I think she'll come around.

yopyopyop · Answer

I would say it's a partial rejection, but not a definitive one, as you asked her to dinner, and some women think it's the second step (hanging out being the first step).

Anyway, don't mention it again, you've opened the discussion about dating, so if she thinks a bit and wants to do something with you, it's now on her to invite you.

martyfellow · Answer

Usually 'I'll think about it" is code for 'I'm not really interested in you, but I won't turn down free sushi if it's convenient.' And shemight have not wanted to appear rude to a co-worker, so she didn't openly say no.

I wouldn't pin many hopes on her! The fact she laughs at bad jokes may just be her way of being polite, and she may be shy, so she blushes.

Given that response from her, you were right not to volunteer your number. Sure she would have taken it out of politeness and wanting to get along at work, but you wouldn not have heard from her, and she'd have probably deleted the number. And felt embarrassed.

RosaliaVanderbilt · Answer

This is a shoot-down.  And even if it miraculously wasn't, you want a girl who, when you ask her out has to control her excitement, and who thinks "Wow, I can't believe he's asking me out!".  Not a girl who "has to think about it".

Melancholy · Answer

If I were that girl, I may have reacted the same. LOL some people (like me) just appear quite unnatural and nonchalant at first. If you like her, just ask her out again. I think it'd be a YES for you :)

MrAtticusLebowski · Answer

Yeah seems like that's a NO buddy. She probably thought this would make any future interactions at work less awkward. Seems annoying, why can't people just be honest about it instead of leaving you wondering.

squirtmachine · Answer

The only thing you have to do is go into work tomorrow an talk to her normal and then mid conversation just say to her have you thought about that sushi date an just see what she says but if she says no keep the conversation going don't stop talking because she said no just try it an see what happens

badboylover · Answer

soz mate but when a girl says she will have to think about will only mean one of 2 things 1) she just not that into you 2)she is wanting to if anyone else will ask her out

Ponsuke · Answer

sounds like she was genuinely thinking about it. If a girl isn't interested, most of them would just make up some lame excuse "oh I'm visiting my grandma this weekend". She wanted to consider somethings, which doesn't necessarily mean it's about you, it could be something personal on her part.

On the other hand, if she was super interested in you, she would've just said yes(unless there's something VERY serious going on in her life)

Stacyzee · Answer

Yeah, Sounds like a rejection to me. There's nothing to think about. Either you want to go or not. I wouldn't ask her out again.

FourStar · Answer

Naw bro you got rejected sorry, she wants to stay friends though and hopes you'll forget about asking her.

kheserthorpe · Answer

That was a turn down unless she brings it up again.

harveykinkle · Answer

Generally any answer other than "yes" is unfortunately no.

Anonymous · Answer

She didn't say no but didn't say yes either. I think you have a chance but I definitely wouldn't wait for her. If you find another girl, ask her out and she says yes, go for it.

QuietlyLoud22 · Answer

are there any other girls interested at you at work?

kangaru · Answer

it might mean she is not keen, and she is rejecting you in a gentle way...

Firespitter · Answer

I obviously don't know this girl, but from my experience when a girl responds like that she's either not interested or just trying to play u, I mean if she likes you why would she have to think about it, and I do think that the "next week"thing was a subtle hint but still if you like her that much stick with it just wait ?? 

abundantlyrich · Answer

She wouldn't be saying that if there were already  mutual feelings between the two of you or she was being real about having a  busy schedule and can't give you a straight answer yet.

Anonymous · Answer

yeah if she didn't suggest another place or day usually means not interested.

dandi · Answer

You aked her out, she knows about it and she will think about it...

I advise you not too push her to much, don't ask her out again.

Meanwhile try to build more attraction, make jokes, flirt with her, eye contact, etc. Notice something new about her or give her a compliment at the right time. Not too much, one is enough. Somehting she never heard before from a guy. Think about it... Don't rush

Pretend that you forgot that you asked her out. It will come up naturally...

Anonymous · Answer

count your loses and go to the next best thing. preferably someone at your job so she can see you interact with another woman. even if she don't want you she'll be jealous because, she would hate that another woman has your attention and not her. She would try to gain that attention back and that's when you tell her you'll think about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I just think that was her polite way of turning you down. Heck, at least she was polite about it

UncleScrooge · Answer

Sounds like a rejection to me, so I wouldn't bring it up again. But that's just what I would do; the girls on here probably have better advice.

bellabionda · Answer

A polite way to say no not interested.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think it's a passive agressive way of saying no.

Anonymous · Answer

She wasn't interested in you and was rejecting you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea

teah29010 · Answer

You should ask again. A closed mouth don't get fed.

Anonymous · Answer

she is interested, but probably she didn't want to agree , not to look desperate  and now waiting for you to ask her again...

dannyboi677 · Answer

I'm going to go with what Harvey said. That's a "no", man.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

she might be stalling

Luv2run · Answer

You're not her first priority.

Anonymous · Answer

she was not really interested

yesmylove · Answer

Playing hard to get

Muratek · Answer

She don't want you. She hate you. :DD

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