How can I save face after asking a guy out and getting rejected?

[Anonymous]

I told a guy that I work with that I thought he was lovely and if he'd like to hang out sometime. At first he said yes. then he said he was sort of hanging out with someone and that it was complicated. I actually turned beet red and said I was sorry that I made things awkward and that I felt embarrassed. He said "don't feel bad. I'm flattered. that take guts. I would have hung out with you but you seemed to react negatively when I said I was sort of hanging out with someone." The problem is I have to see this person for work. I'd like to not be a constant ego-boost for them every time he sees me.

[qwer1234]

With every gain there's a risk involved. If you aren't willng to take this risk, you'll never be worthy of this gain. Don't let fear stop you from something you really want - given you really want it. IF you don't really want it, then why bother? If you do something, do it wholeheartly not some half ass job. I mean you only live once, right? Why not go for it? "What if?" for the rest of your life is worse then being rejected for one moment.

If you liked my answer or if I could be of any help, please vote me as BA. :) Thank you! Merry Chrismas to all of you. :)

[mykeedd]

Get over it. You boldly went for what you wanted and you did it straight forward and without mind games. He politely declined and then commended you for for your courage. No one lost face in that situation. Win some. Lose some. You did nothing wrong. It's no more of an ego boost than if he had approached you and told you that you were lovely. You gave a compliment and made the guy's day. That's all. It's all good.

[KingJR]

^^^^ this

[yopyopyop]

Totally agree. Nothing to worry about at all.

[Asker]

Thank you. I really appreciate your words. It really does help to brush the dust off. So thank you. I have so much admiration for men, now that I have experienced the other side. It really does take a lot of courage.

[ArabianPwincess197]

say np it was a dare anyway or act like nothing happened

[Scoopie]

There's nothing to save. So it didn't work out, big deal, just move on. Everybody who gets rejected feels embarrassed. Just act normal, like nothing happened. If you even attempt to 'save' anything, you'll just make a fool out of yourself. Now he has some respect that you had the guts to ask him, so keep it that way.

[Asker]

By "save face" I meant retain my self respect or dignity so as to be able to remain feeling like a respectable woman of value. Not saving an emotion or opportunity.

thanks for the advice and for responding

[Scoopie]

self respect and dignity comes from within. What happened, happened. That stuff happens. We guys get rejected all the time and we are still expected to make the first move. Resume your life as usual and that will show self respect. Hanging too much on this 'incident' will only prevent you from building more self respect and taking advantage of an opportunity when you meet the next great guy.

[Xillia]

The best solution is to act like nothing ever happened, and just hang. I got rejected by someone, and I have to work with them at a daily basis so I later realized that she really wanted to be friends so we acted like nothing ever happened.

[Hans222]

Perhaps just explain him that you feel a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable. Good chance the situation will get solved after an open 5 minutes chat.

Thumbs up, you'll see it will work!

[qwer1234]

Arent't you guys grown up already?

[Asker]

rejection isn't easy regardless of age.