Why do men give mixed signals?

[Anonymous]

iv hooked up with this older guy more than a dozen times now, we stopped for like 6 months.. It gets intense and we usually keep eye contact but It's more like a fuck buddy situation neither of us have even mentioned it's more mutual, like a wam bam thank you mam (and literally I don't know why but we always thank each other when leaving lol) anyway we hooked up again and he complemented me acouple times & said look at me with those pretty --color-- eyes and kept saying he wished we could have a whole night sometime, but like usual if I don't text first I don't here anything from him, does he just say that to keep me wanting more? Like a last option booty call?

[MrOracle]

His signals are not at all mixed; they are quite clear:

He enjoys fucking you. A lot. But that's all he wants from you. I doubt you can give me even a single example of something he's said or done that contradicts that.

Casual sex/FWB/fuck buddies is perfectly fine if that's what you both want. You are an adult, and are perfectly allowed to have that if you like. But assuming that ISN'T what you want, then why did you accept only that?

The world is full of men who will happily have sex with you (and nothing else) if you let them. Unless you were super-sheltered your whole life, you MUST know that. That a man wants to have sex with you, or finds you physically attractive (which is really the same thing), isn't unique or special - there are literally billions of men on the planet who could say the same.

YOUR job, assuming you are looking for a more serious relationship, is to sort through and filter out all of the guys who AREN'T looking for a relationship, because YOU are the only one who you can count on to look out for YOUR interests, at least during the dating process.

This guy clearly only wants the sex. Sure, he'll say things to keep you coming back, or to maybe give you a bit of false hope, but he's clearly not interested in a relationship, because he's had PLENTY of time to try to move towards a real relationship, and hasn't done it. Why hasn't he? Because he's already getting everything he wants: free, easy sex at HIS convenience. Hopefully that's enough for you too, because if not, then you are cheating yourself.

[Asker]

It's more like a mutal agreement (though we have never even talked about it) that's all I want and I know that's all he wants so I just don't understand why he acts like he likes me sometimes, and last time when he dropped me off at my car he leaned over like he wanted to kiss me but I didn't. And he never does that. And why so much eye constancy and intensity for just a booty call? ( don't get me wrong I like that,it's just a little confusing)

[MrOracle]

It's possible he has developed some feelings, OR it's possible that he simply misses those components of a relationship that he's used to having when sex is involved (kissing, cuddling, being possessive, etc.). For many people, having a long-term FWB is challenging, because you start to notice that you have MUCH of what an official relationship give you, but there are still parts missing, and some of those parts are nice, or just familiar, and it's hard to go without them.

[RalphBlack]

A lot of guys that are assholes like this are severely hurt and too proud to admit it. Also in society it is known that a man can be sensitive but can't be weak. So we as men shit off our emotions completely and just fuck women. And if the woman acts too clingy and needy then we run away more or play games. And I think that gos the same with women to guys. If a guy acts too needy or clingy to a woman, then the woman is less of a value. People want more of a challenge to the opposite sex. My suggestion is to do what you can to not have sex with him next time and see how he acts. Maybe make yourself more busy and less available so it is more of a challenge because you aren't there all the time. That is if you really like the guy.

[toulouse]

its not mixed signals. he's attracted to you and he's getting what he wants without having to do much work. I don't se anything inconsistent. when he wants you you're around. if he's tired of it he can go fuck off. you're not in a relationship so he has no obligation towards you. you can have the most beautiful eyes in the world, doesn't man hell feel like testing. esp since he's getting sex either way.

if you want something more than friends then you should recognize that, because it isn't what you are getting. if you're happy with just being f buddies then I'm not su where the discontent with the lack of texting is coming from. you're having sex. why do you have to text as well?

[Anonymous]

I don't believe men give mixed signals.

I believe they give no signals. And women see signals in everything, and assign random values of positive or negative to these things, and that is why they don't seem consistent.

From the mans point of view :

Looks at her - means nothing

Looks away from her - means nothing

Laughs - means nothing

Doesn't smile - means nothing

etc...

From the girls perspective:

Looks at her - that must be positive

Looks away from her - that must be negative

Laughs - that must be positive

Doesn't smile - that must be negative

etc...

Girls would rather think that virtually everything the guy does is influenced by how he feels about her, rather than face the far more likely truth, that he isn't thinking about her much at all.

[toulouse]

i've had men get angry with me for not picking up on and properly interpreting their signals. that's taking it to the extreme, and annoying.

everyone gives out signals. Some people do it volitionally to provoke a response or investigate a persons reaction to them without asking questions directly. the people who do it on purpose are 'flirting' or playing games.

you give out signals. its called non verbal communication, which makes up the majority of human communication.

[Opinion Owner]

Typical woman - like a fish who can't conceive of the idea that universe isn't wet...

[pavlove]

everyone gives out signals some people just aren't conscious of it and perhaps are few rare individuals are good at masking it. Interrogators are incredibly good at reading body language down to a science to determine what a person is hiding, strippers are great at reading how desperate a guy is, you mom is great at knowing when you're upset. Don't be a dick.

[pavlove]

Hmm..maybe he honestly just wishes he could spend more time with you but thinks a young girl like you just wants sex and doesn't want to freak you out with more than that? Otherwise he's playing some good game mixing his asshole side with his polite side to confuse and disorient you.

[222fallguy2]

Your title doesn't fit the question. He likes to have sex with a pretty girl and why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. Long term you are hurting yourself and maybe one day you will believe in your heart you are worth more than a fun time.

[Whitechocolate1001]

LOL I think its the other way around. Women give off mix signals that they expect the guy to pickup on and when he does, she doesn't like him like he thinks she does.

[Anonymous]

Women give men they like all of the power and control over them and then complain . Figures.

[TheOneTurv]

yeah not really...its usually the other way around