Why do Men give us mixed signals?

Question

AncientWisdom · Accepted Answer

Usually because they are unsure or cheating ( hopefully not ) or simply they’ve got more going on then the female which they should have a man is busy. If your talking about a male that’s different from a man. Men are busy we have lives we are living and building. I personally don’t waste time if a females starts shit testing me to much ( I expect a certain normal amount of shit testing as that is how women evolved) I’m going to tell her so and I’m going to bounce. All women do shit tests. Some women get carried away with it from their own insecurities. In fact most things that bother women stem from an insecurity they have within themselves. ( usually created in them by another women or a long time mate ) Men are simple straight forward creatures for the most part. Women in todays society are in control of sex and relationships because it’s an evolutionary fact men are weak behind sex because the part of our brain devoted to sex is 2.5 times bigger then in a woman’s brain this happens in the womb as sooon as that fetus turns male. Females give mixed signals and most of the time think a man is because in the female mind they don’t realize we don’t process thought like they do , and this causes a lot of problems , because it causes the female to see a problem that does not exist anywhere but in her own mind. If he is sending mixed signals you need to communicate with him straightforwardly that’s another mistake females make is thinking men can read their mind. Let me solve this for you , we are not telepathic. Have enough respect to communicate with your man before you jump to conclusions and start something over nothing. Also if your man cannot communicate in a constructive way with the calm and stance of an intelligent strong man then you do have a problem. Adult males who behave as a child are not men. The are simply adult males there is a difference just as there are adult females who are not women. The are just physiologically grown humans that behave as children. This has become an epidemic in this modern entitled society we have created.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They do not.

Most women are incapable of understanding this but the ones who do will be happier for it.

Here goes.

Men are not just simple. They are simpler than you can believe. You as a woman are literally incapable of believing how simple men are.

Women are terminally afraid (it seems) of looking "too obvious". They never say what they think. They never say what they want. They drop signs and hints and subtle signals. AND THEY ASSUME MEN MUST BE THE SAME.It never seems to occur to them that men don't live like this. But if you can wrap your head around this your relationships with men will be so much easier. It's why men never see your hints and signs and signals. They are beneath our perception threshold. Men can't tell when you have a new outfit or shoes or hairstyle. You think he's going to notice which direction your feet were pointed or something? He won't.

Now to answer your question, because women think like this you assume everything he does or almost everything is a sign or signal. And you wonder what it means. And you assign positive or negative to each sign. Then you wonder why it's not consistent.

He looked at me! What you think it means: hot - What it actually means: NothingHe didn't sit next to me. What you think it means: cold - What it actually means: NothingHe ordered the same meal as me at lunch! What you think it means: hot - What it actually means: NothingHe looked at me but wasn't smiling! What you think it means: Cold - What it actually means: NothingThen you wonder why he's running hot and cold. And if you asked him why, he'd have NO idea what you're talking about. TL;DR do not assume men are sending you hot and cold non verbal signals. They aren't. If you can believe this your relationships with men will be less frustrating and happier.

SkyCastle90 · Accepted Answer

Most men think they are psychic.

It sounds ridiculous, because it is. Majority of men think their assumptions of a person, place, action, etc are facts and just too ignorant/immature to ask questions, or consider another's perspective. This behavior is where the term, "Mr. Know it all" comes from.

This is not all men, but this is a stage most men experience while maturing; thankfully many will have to grow out of it as life teach them valuable lessons. However, you will run into some who just refuse to grow as a person and dive 200% into their "psychic abilities"; so deep that they will start telling you about yourself, your past, and future based on the LITTLEST and most basic of details.

What does this have to do with the topic? Basically, just be cautious. If a guy is giving mixed signals, then he (or his friends) clearly has "psychic abilities", and adjusting accordingly to what they think will get you to react. It's just immaturity at it's finest. Always walk away from this behavior.

Plus, it's about to be 2022, if you like the guy, approach him and tell him. You don't have to wait for him to make the 1st move; and the men who are worth a damn will appreciate your boldness.

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

Because when you show interest some of them think it's a great idea. Suddenly the search is over, they'll have someone to do all the things they want to do with. Sleep with, holiday with etc.
And then they spend time with you and either you're too good for them or not meeting their expectations.
If you sleep with them and it's good they may put up with you until you get fed up or they find someone else.
And if it wasn't then it's temporarily filled a void so they can go out without being a raging horn dog!

If you're a little slow he'll take advantage of you until you wisen up!

Life, love and sex really isn't complicated.

If you want something more you really have to be clear.
If you get rejected at least you know where you stand.

GoPhuckYaself · Answer

Are you sure your not confusing the genders?
Because if I know men, and I know myself, we're pretty honest straight forward people, if we fancy you, we don't play mind games and wait for you to get the hint. We come right out and say it... It's you girls that are unclear and give mixed signals.. guys are very upfront an honest about everything, my guess is you met one guy who was unclear to you and now you think all men are unclear, that's simply not true.. men are the most upfront honest people, jus ask a guy if he fancies you or not and 99.9 percent of the time he'll give you a honest straightforward answer.

The guy you're seeing probably jus doesn't fancey you and he's trying not to hurt your feelings so he's beating behind the bush or trying to avoid telling you you're not hot... Jus cos he hasn't got the balls to be honest doesn't mean most men don't cos trust me most guys are honest

It's you girls who are secretive. Y'all always give mixed feelings and change your mind and unclear

McKellar · Answer

Respectfully sweetheart,... women give mixed signals to men as well. It does unfortunately & irritatingly enough goes both ways.

I know about roughly 1 year ago,... I was at a bowling game for a buddy's birthday.

There was this 1 girl, long, brunette hair, nerdy glasses & damn she was beautiful & cute as fuck! ... well that's just the best way I can describe this girl.

I can tell this girl was flirting with me, giving me a bunch of signals like she was big time into me, I told her I will find her online & get connected with her then.

It had taken me a little bit of some time to find her, but I finally found her.

As soon as I had found her, sent out a friend request to her & even messaged her.

In a short period of time,... either she shut down her Facebook profile or just blocked me with no reply from her of any kind.

I can't say I was at all impressed by her.
Now whenever I do see a photo shot of her,... I just shake my head, look at her & think, "Don't frickin' look at me sweetheart. That was your damn loss baby,... not mine".

Anonymous · Answer

Isn't it possible, just possible, that the obvious answer is the real answer?

Namely, that men are uncertain. They want to love and be loved. They don't want to be hurt, but they want to be with the other person. They don't want to offend the woman and yet they want to be with the woman. They are not sure how the other person feels - and maybe sometimes they are not, as men, entirely sure how they feel.

Yes, yes, allow for lesser motives. At the most irreducible level there are men who are playing games. There are men who are only out there for sex - it is, after all, an evolutionary instinct of the human male to reproduce and no man - or woman for that matter - is ever entirely in control of his instincts. So he sends mixed signals.

However, for the most part, men are just like women. They want to love and be loved. They are lonely and want to hold someone in their arms, but they don't want to be hurt and find themselves alone. So the indecision and the caution comes through as "mixed signals."

Best advice, man or woman, use your common sense. Attribute the best motives unless and until other motives are discerned. Cut through the uncertainties and communicate - even though you may be hurt. Allow for human indecision.

Put it all together and, as I say, sometimes the obvious answer is the right answer.

ArchivalMars2 · Answer

Um as teenagers guys don't really have the whole "signal/don't signal" thing down whatsoever. As adults, I promise a number of guys get better at it but of course not all. Now as for why the mixed signals it could be a number of reasons, he might not be sure of what to signal or how, he might not be sure if he really wants to be with the girl he's with, it could be anything really.

Besides, on the flip side girls aren't much better either. Some of your "subtle hints" aren't even subtle they're borderline non-existent. Which is sad really, because officially girls are supposed to be better at it than guys period.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Looking at your age, that explains part of the problem: young people, guys and girls, have issues expressing their interest in someone. It's a maturity thing...

I would say it gets better the older you get, but that's a lie, LOL.

So let me put it this way: guys send mixed signals because they're not that interested in you. If he was, he wouldn't be playing games or leaving you confused. If you can't tell if a guy likes you or not? He's not interested. If he likes you, he's going to make it obvious.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Some people are reserved or shy and that’s definitely something you should consider. However, I take mixed signals as a clear message. You know when someone is special and the connection is real and meaningful. (Also, make sure you’re not sending mix signals. You have to let him know you're interested too.)

BillboBaggher · Answer

Cause we’re confused. Or your confusing. Or your confused. Or were bored. Or your annoying. Mostly we’re confused about what we want. Just being honest. Guys like to lead people on too tho. Just as much as girls do. I used this one girl all the time and never knew it. I thought we were just friends and we would go to the mall. See movies. Etc. one day she tried to kiss me and I was like bruh, what r u doing. She was kinda a tomboy and i felt bad for rejecting her but I looked at her as just a homie. Would’ve been like kissing one of the boys

AmandaYVR · Answer

They don't know what they want. They're still trying to figure that out.
They do know exactly what they want, and it's not a committed relationship, so they tap-dance around, pretending they want more, or that they don't yet know, in order to get sex.

Mk32123 · Answer

I have found that men who do this are either:

1. Unsure of their feelings for you. This will cause mixed signals because there are mixed feelings.

2. they are dating multiple women at the same time. When one catches their attention more than the others, she will get his time and attention, leaving the others wondering why he’s giving them mixed signals when he comes back from that woman.

3. they’ve been hurt in the past and are subconsciously scared of being hurt again therefore they will push you away as a consequence. This also can go hand in hand with #2.

from my experience mixed signals are a red flag. I know it’s easier said than done but I’d open up the idea of dating other people (you don’t need to cut him off, but just to keep your focus off him). Mixed messages is a message.

hope all goes well for you x

FlutteringFeelings · Answer

Men never give mixed signals. If he’s giving mixed signals that means he’s not interested or that invested to make his signs clear to a woman. If a light is green that means go, if it’s red that means stop, and if it’s flickering with no direction for the cars to follow through with then you proceed with caution. You can either take another route or remain confused until the light decides to work and the timing is unpredictable. Apply this to your life the best way it fits.

t-8900 · Answer

One of 3 things is going on; he's too shy, he's using you as an who boost, or most likely if all he's not interested. Sometimes you girls want to believe something that isn't there because you're totally into the guy. Ask my girlfriend how quickly I asked her out. Day 1 we talked, day 3 we're official and exclusive. I make it clear what I want in no uncertain terms. Only time I didn't ask girls out was when I suspected them being sketchy or having a stuck up personality.

Star_88 · Answer

They're using you as a spare tire. He'll keep on playing hot and cold as long as better girls are entertaining him.
If things don't work out or gets messed up with other hot chicks, then he'll crawl back to you like you were the ONE AND ONLY girls of his dreams.

zariahdp · Answer

I’ll say treat men how they treat you. If he isn’t consistent or literally telling you how he feels, you do the same to him. Us women need to stop expecting these men to go above and beyond because they will but still not claim you as a girlfriend or so on. If they aren’t direct, don’t be direct with them simple.

CaptoObvo · Answer

The girl I've been dating for the last couple months has been doing this. I asked her about it and it turns out it's because she's seeing someone else. It's important to actually talk about these things and make them explicit. We had never discussed it but she had been giving me every sign that she was taking me seriously and not seeing anyone else. I really like her and don't want to give up on her entirely but I feel like a moron just waiting around for her to make her pick so I'm going to explore other options too-- but I'm going to be open with them about it and not let them get hurt like this girl hurt me. It's a real dick move.
It's also a violation of consent because when we had the pre-sex talk she didn't disclose she was with anyone else and that's a risk factor. Your partners can't give informed consent if they're not informed, tell them.

JCrockett · Answer

Chances are he's not giving you any signals and you're just reading too much into things. Guys aren't as into "signals" as girls are.

Shaggy_KW · Answer

I could ask women the same damn question. To answer your question simply, we usually don't mean to or we're super awkward and don't know what we're saying. We're very simple creatures and get flustered when pretty girl in front of us and caveman brain takes over.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Usually because we don't know...

We don't know if you like us.

We don't know what to say to you that will make you like us.

We don't know when or where we should approach you.

We don't know what to do even when we know you like us.

Msputiton · Answer

It's a combination of this.
Some guys don't know what they want.
Some guys like the chase but once ya give in they bored now.
Some times we misread the signals.
Sometimes they think they want us until they realize we don't vibe

dragoblack · Answer

Because when trying to romance women, it's like walking on eggshells, One wrong word and women lose entire interest. Men are honest if you let them be unless they are trying to act like a player. The usual reaction to honesty is usually ;annoyed, anger, offended, loss of all romantic interest, and/or being seen as no longer romantically an option all together.

nat1993 · Answer

Well most of them are not even sure when they are giving signals tbh.
Sometimes the signals are mixed since they are shy and are afraid of getting their feelings hurt due to rejection.
The last category is of guys who just like to boast their ego by letting the girls approach them and not giving them direct signals.

donnny2367764 · Answer

Call me old fashioned but i chose to be very direct and to the point Im when it comes to dealing with feelings and emotions. I find it quite annoying to toy around or leave room to wander when situations or issues arise. I try to focus my energy on doing things we clearly enjoy spending our time doing.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Its simple! Because girls behave in mixed ways. We cannot tell if a girl is being too friendly or flirty. Mixed behavior, mixed signals as a response.

gamothen · Answer

I think it is natural for humans to do it. Usually we just can't decide how much we like you or we give mix signals because a woman gave them to us too.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

A lot of the time we don’t know what we really want, however I think both guys n girls do the same

LinaDaGoddess · Answer

Sometimes it’s because they’re not sure about you… if a guy isn’t sure about you, leave him where he is… Find someone that is sure about you.. but, you’re young so please enjoy your youth. There will always be a guy.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because we´re often times not sure either. We guys also need time if we just consider you women attractive or if we feel attracted to you after that we have to figure out if these feelings are just ours or vice versa.

Diodoro · Answer

Because you're not paying attention to the signals that matter. You can always tell if a guy is interested vs kind of interested

A guy wanting you sexually isn't the same as wanting you in a more serious relationship way

Novacane · Answer

What kind of mixed signals are you getting? I can tell you right now men are the most straight forward when it comes to things like this and if they are giving you mixed signals then you are more than likely getting played

Anonymous · Answer

And women don’t? At your age you are dealing with boys who mostly Don’t know what they are doing. Also teen girls mature faster when it comes to emotional intelligence in their teens vs. boys.

However there is a real paradox with all this. Women are turned on by mystery and challenge (especially when first meeting). It’s cat like behavior.

Gal67 · Answer

Why do women give us mixed signals, or expect us to even see the signals in the first place? Instead of all this "signalling" going on, why don't people just tell each other how they feel? Wouldn't that just be easier?

Destrother · Answer

Girls do it more usually but a guy doesn't give signals you can tell immediately by the way theyre talking body movements and stuff like that or they could just casually be talking to you and not giving any signals at all

Anonymous · Answer

It goes both ways, doesn't it? There are several reasons:
Signals are not easy to interpret
They may be confusing in the first placePeople like to play "games"It's a basic chemical, biological processNow that humans have got past the stage of grunting, some seem to think they're clever or they weren't taught the rules in the first placeMake it it easy for the opposite person, just talk plainly and honestly

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

He's not giving mixed signals he's just not interested. But so many women fail to accept the truth.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Actually women do it more often.  While a lot guys do it too.  Usually done by someone who isn't a very good person anyway. No matter how they may look or what image they try to portray.

SphynxUK · Answer

The same reason women give them to men. Because they can, and because they like playing games.  I’m speaking generally.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Please, I beg of you, leave these discussions to adults. You have GOT to be kidding me. Women send mixed signals way more often than men do. Additionally, your 16 year old classmates are not men. They are just children.

Dargil · Answer

The opposite is true. We are too unsophisticated to signal. We just say whatever we think (like Trump). But sometimes we change our minds.

Flower7 · Answer

To keep us around as backup, when they truly aren’t very interested.

TonyV · Answer

Women give off mixed signals too, people are complicated just got to get use to it and better at noticing other signals.

JSmuve · Answer

1) He doesn't know if he's attracted to you enough2) You've done something or someone said something about you that turned him off/on3) You're giving mixed signals and he's just following your lead

sean1234 · Answer

What is a mixed signal? Better yet, why are soo many fake Christians and Atheists out there? Where's the real women at? Single at 39.

Anonymous · Answer

Everyone gives mixed signals. Looking at your age, guys that age are not mature and most don’t really look for anything serious or who knows.  It’s not just one gender.

Wild_princess · Answer

I don't know... if they act confused or are really confused🤷🏻‍♀️... but believe me don't fall for a man giving you mixed signals

Juxtapose · Answer

I am an autistic man and I am very much incapable of playing subtle mind games. Most men I know do not play games either.. it is women's territory until we get into things like politics.

PRENowNNext · Answer

I don't think we do. Give me some examples of mixed signals you've received from a man.

Interstate · Answer

Women give them, too. It is one reason why Women and I don't get along.

ImJustSomeGuyLol · Answer

A bit of context behind this question would be nice, hard to say without knowing what has happened so far.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

Because you can't handle full signals. You burst into flames because you get "scared" or whatever your excuse is.

DJaQueef · Answer

We are just trying to distract you so we can pull an upper decker.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are usually very clear. We say what we mean. Women give mixed signals.

Seangreen · Answer

Women are the masters of mixed signals so maybe you're asking the question to the wrong audience

Citizenkirk · Answer

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander. Besides, us guys are fickle, everyone knows that.

jshm2 · Answer

Because how else are they supposed to direct traffic?

scott04sa22 · Answer

The reason why I send mixed signals because I’m not sure they’re gonna like me more after they get to know me more.

Soyyo9 · Answer

It’s their hormones. They don’t know what they want until they get old and grey then they wanna get married

FunkyMonkee · Answer

REALLY? Isn't that the skillet calling the kettle, "black"? Women are the queens of mixed signals!

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Those aren't signals. You're just reading into it too much

TexasRed95 · Answer

I have always been completely up front with women. Apparently that makes them not want to date you. So I can't really help you in this question.

LightOfTruth · Answer

If they are gas lighting they might but most of the time I think men are overly simple. Your probably reading to far into it

BubbaTech · Answer

Men are truly scared this day and age, men are expected to respect women and everything they perceive as true. Even when that isn't what we mean.

Why do Men give us mixed signals?

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