Questions: Flirting

Have you ever confessed your attraction towards someone you've been flirting around with, gone a few dates (or someone you were friends that you were crushing on) then suddenly that person became very distant towards you and stopped talking to you? Do you think things would be different if you would've kept your mouth closed?

this has happened to me a few times. so much, that I feel that I will never ever verbally express my feelings towards a female no matter how much I believe I think she likes me.

one instance was back in high school. I had a big crush on a girl but we didn't have any classes together. I talked to her a few minutes outside of class everyday but I didn't flirt with her (which was my mistake). I told her friend that I liked her and to tell her that I did, for I can know if she felt that same way. well, she didn't and she stopped talking to me. it seemed like she was avoiding me. it was my fault really, I was pretending to be only a friend while my true feelings was much more, and I wasn't being honest.

another instance was last year. I was flirting around heavily with a girl I met locally online (we knew a few mutual friends). we hung out a few times, flirted around a lot, and things got kinda crazy through texting and Facebook messages (lots of sexts and teasing from her). after two failed attempts of trying to sexual escalate things with her whenever we hung out at my house, I told her I was respected her that she told me 'no', and that she turned me on. after that she stopped talking to me. at first she was very needy towards me, texting me everyday, wanting to hangout almost every other day etc. but now I think maybe she just liked me a friend and my confession scared her.

what about you? have you ever confessed attraction towards someone then having that person avoid you or ignore you? If you kept your mouth shut and expressed things non-verbally do you think things would have been different?

Over the years, I've been looking online for answers as to "why" I keep getting rejected, because no matter what I try, it just doesn't work. About a year ago, I said I'd just focus on school and not worry at all about girls at all after being rejected by a girl who seemed to be interested but apparently wasn't. So here comes this girl that at first I barely noticed, but I learn over time that we're a lot alike (my opinion) and from spending so much time with her, so many classes together, even hanging out a few times for several hours at a time, I start to develop feelings for her. Smart, sarcastic, kind-hearted, tough, selfless, cute. Special. Amazing. I'd then ask her out twice, and she'd say "no" twice, all the while the bond between us getting a little stronger. We had a long talk last night, because over the school break, she not only blew me off to hang out, but got a boyfriend too. Light-hearted conversation got serious. I tried not to say much of what I wanted to, but she kept pushing me to tell her what was on my mind. So I told her how much she'd come to matter to me over the last year getting to know her. She explained to me why she would blow me off, but honestly, I already knew why. I was being hard-headed about the whole thing because I believe something whole-heartedly...that she doesn't. I still do. I told her she was my best friend at the school, and while she agreed that I was the same to her, that seems to be as far as she wants it to go. I could tell she felt bad, and I tried to explain that she shouldn't. I finally told her I'm never changing the way I feel about her, but that I just won't talk about it anymore. I guess we're still friends because we went right back to talking the way we used to.

Even so, I didn't think a rejection could hurt as much as this one does, especially since that's all I ever seem to get. But avoiding her didn't seem to make sense to me, because this school is way too small, and the only way not to be near her would be to drop out. It hurts so much because the older I get, with every new rejection, it seems like God's screwing with me, and the only thing I REALLY want in life--a wife and some kids--I can't have it. Now, there's this absolutely spectacular girl that I have to have classes with that I can never be with, but can't avoid either. It's infuriating and depressing, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

People like me just fine, but girls NEVER like me "that way", and they never even give me a chance. I AM venting, because I don't know where else to go with these feelings but here. What would you do if you were me?

Males and Females can answer and vote.

The best way to get a girl to like you is to pay limited attention to her, be funny and flirt with her friends. I'm definitely not saying ignore the one you really like, I'm just saying make her friends like you and potentially give you their vote of confidence when your not around!