Women: guy approaching you with small talk

[Anonymous]

let's say a guy sees a girl he likes and wants to her. so he's a bit nervous so he starts with small talk like what the time is or if you could borrow something or a small favor, but he's really interested in more than that.

is that lame or a good first step? would it be better or more attractive if he just said that he wanted to meet you.

my logic is either way a girl knows he's trying to get her number and being less direct about it won't turn a rejection into a yes.

is my logic right or wrong?

Yea, better this way. so he doesn't come off too strong at first.

Nah, he should just be straight up that your cute and he wants to meet you

[heavenonearth]

A guy I don't know asking to meet straight-away...that doesn't really work, or it seems to have less of a chance at least. Some people have enough charm to pull it off, but I wouldn't use that in most cases.

If I think about the guys who approached me that I've said yes to, almost all of them struck up a conversation with me. He might ask some innocuous question or make a comment (the food here's really great, huh?, what class is that for?, what are you drinking? is that a good book?), or introduce himself and ask my name, why I'm there, how do I know so-and-so, give me a compliment, etc. It depends on the situation. Any of those starts the conversation though, and then when we part he'd say something like "it was really nice talking to you" and ask for my number and/or add me on Facebook to chat.

This approach is probably better for the initiator too, because you get a sense of whether the person will say yes or no. If she's smiling as you converse, flirting back, asking you things, not giving short answers or looking to leave, etc. then there's a good chance she'll give you her number when you ask. You just have to read some of the social cues to know. I do pretty much the same thing when I see a cute guy I want to talk to.

[GuruGuy]

Be honest, if you were leaving a place and walked by a guy who was busy with some people and you made eye contact with him then smiled... if he got up and stopped you before you left saying he was busy right then but would love to grab a bite to eat or a coffee with you sometime... what would be your answer? My guess is you'd probably say sure and give him your number just out of sheer curiosity of who that guy is so you can learn more about him.

[heavenonearth]

It's possible, yeah. Kinda depends where I'm headed and what he says. For the QA's question I was thinking more of a situation where he didn't have the girl's attention yet, or she didn't notice him. I'm not saying being that direct never works, just that in my experience I tend to be more comfortable agreeing if it's not out of the blue.

[TheStratocaster]

I think this is the best answer

[confugirl]

You can start with this, but don't ALWAYS approach with small talk. At some point, you will have to be more direct. The second time you approach her, you should try and start a conversation. Asking for a small favor will not make her want to start a conversation, nor will she assume you're flirting, because that's not flirty at all.

[225Taylor]

you're logic is right, however I wouldn't choose choice A or choice B because if I'm not in the mood to be hit on by a guy, I've already decided in my head that I'm going to reject you...whether you start off direct or indirect...it really just has to do with how the girl is feeling when you approach her

[Asker]

yeah, so either way, its based on your first impression and your mood

[mechanized82]

Based on the poll and the responses, I would have to say that my thoughts all along have been correct. Trying to catch the attention of a woman is a gamble. They are so fickle and moody. You could make the same approach on the same woman but on a different day and get different results. What works on one woman, another hates. All I can suggest is to not worry about how to roll the dice, and just roll them... a lot. lol

[MikeK]

I wanna know too - no matter what kind of approach you take (nonchalant or aggressive) a girl is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS going to perceive it as you (the guy) hitting on them...

I gotta admit, the small talk step does seem to be more favorable than coming right out and asking for her number... girls can be incredibly defensive.

[MyNameIsJonas]

Always small talk in my opinion. I never (rarely) go straight to interest with a girl (unless she is giving me very obvious signs) It's better to small talk, feel out the conversation then if she is giving signs of interest pursue.

[Anonymous]

if you're good looking , you can threaten them and they will say yes

[kangaru]

Voted A. I prefer subtle way

[SwissCheeze]

Women look at me and run.

[Luv2run]

I like small talk