I noticed women sometimes posting really stupid questions about how the guy they rejected is now “ignoring them”. Is it just selfishness or guilt?

[Anonymous]

First off there is absolutely nothing wrong if a woman (tactfully yet directly) rejects a man who is interested in her romantically. It’s 100% the right thing to do (if it’s done respectfully) because the guy now knows where he stands. He might not like her afterwards but he will be appreciative to know the truth so he doesn’t waste any more time/hope.

A mature man may feel angry at the outcome (vs. an immature man who gets angry at her personally). He will feel disappointed but that’s just human nature. Sure it sucks but again a mature man can and should handle rejection well and respect where the woman stands. He might not thank her but in the long run he will be thankful.

However I noticed some women complaining on GAG about how the guy they rejected is no longer giving them any attention. I’m like “well no shit Sherlock what’s the point of him still talking to you?”. That doesn’t mean he should be rude to her of course. But he didn’t approach you to just be friends and deep down you know it. Expecting him to just magically forget the rejection and suddenly “just be friends” is extremely entitled.

I’ve had to turn down a few women in my life. None of them ever kept talking to me unless they had to out of small talk. Sure it was awkward and I often felt bad about it but I completely understood why.

However why is it that women still expect the rejected man to keep talking to her? I seriously believe this is the ugly real reason why so many women choose to play games with men. It gives them plausible deniability so they can keep them in the friéndzone. They know if they are honest with the guy then chances are he will leave and wish her best of luck. Yet they act so entitled to the attention. It’s very selfish and disrespectful to the position the man is in.

[HappyWoman34]

Maybe they miss their friendship and are lonely?

[Asker]

Maybe they should stop being naive when a man approaches them. Especially if they are 30+ (the stupid question I saw on GAG was posted from a woman who is 30-35).

No straight man with a pulse goes out of his way to approach a woman just to be friends. You should know that by now.

If he approached he might just be curious/on the fence about her. Or he might have a huge crush on her. Either way he isn’t going to stick his neck out to “just be friends”. There some interest he had from
the start. To pretend otherwise is at best extremely naive and at worse extremely selfish and entitled.

It’s good that a woman should (respectfully) speak up if she’s not interested. If he gets angry and/or insults her about the rejection then she should take that as confirmation that she made the right choice.

But a mature man will bow out gracefully. Again he might be angry and bitter at the result but he’s mature enough to know better then to be angry at her personally. Attraction isn’t a choice but respect is.

But just like she has a right to reject a relationship then he has a right to reject a friendship. That doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to get rude. But he’s her absolutely NOTHING at that point. He doesn’t have to give her any more attention nor should he. It isn’t “disrespectful” just because the man no longer wants to waste any time on her. He’s just respecting himself.

So that’s where I conundrum lies. Why do women feel entitled to “friendships” from men they romantically reject? Huh? The ugly truth is women have very little to offer men as platonic friends. That’s not to say men and women can’t become friends. They often do through school, work and other social activities. But again if a man approaches then don’t play dumb about it. He’s not going to take a huge risk for nothing.

[Asker]

*But he owes her

[HappyWoman34]

Uhm, I wasn’t the one who wrote that question, although I sometimes ask what guys mean by their behaviour because I’m Autistic and can’t read social cues or body language. Maybe this woman or girl is the same?

[HappyWoman34]

I never feel like men owe me. There’s one I know on here who’s chased me online and in person for a year and answers my questions about men and referred to himself as my friend, asked me how I felt about him, asked me out twice, then said he was joking and seeing someone else and has just been pursuing me for sport so he can laugh at me. When you get so many mixed messages, it’s confusing for anyone. What am I, a freaking psychic?

[HappyWoman34]

Maybe she just hopes to be friends. Jesus, get a hold of yourself, man!

[Asker]

“Online” relationships don’t count. Never will. Nothing can replace the in person communication and interaction of a real person.

Anyway the question I am referring to is Why he ignores me after I rejected him? ↗

The reason this really got under my skin is I have encountered this crap in the past. Not recently but a few years back and really it made me deeply angry that grown women still think a grown man would be okay with the friéndzone. I can see much younger and naive women maybe thinking that but not women in their 30s.

But then again I don’t think you will be able to comprehend the man’s POV very well when it comes to this. It’s not really a sex issue but a respect issue. It takes women more mental effort than I expect to see why men get upset about this. They usually act all dismissive about it.

[HappyWoman34]

I just think you’re overreacting. I’m capable to comprehend your point. I just disagree with you, which I have the right to do.

[Asker]

Alright from your POV it might seem that way. But you just don’t understand the negative psychological impact of women “just wanting to be friends” has on men. Truly you don’t. You don’t understand all the negative long term ramifications it has on his self esteem.

Most women ignore this and/or quickly use a dismissive excuse/distraction bs such as “oh all he wanted was sex blah blah”. They don’t put the mental effort into understanding the man’s POV on this. For the man it’s really about wanting to be respected more than it is about sex. Confidently assuming he’s okay with being platónic friends is like treating him like he’s another woman vs a real man.

But you don’t get it. Or you do get it but don’t want that setup to go away. Reason being a platonic male friend is a much bigger asset to women than vice versa for several reasons.

[HappyWoman34]

Just like men don’t get how it’s not nice to last women out on dates and pursue them for a joke? Which has happened to me by the way.

[HappyWoman34]

Ask* women out

[HappyWoman34]

Anyway alright, you’ve intrigued me. So what do male friends have to offer women that female friends can’t offer men?

[DarkLegacy]

Modern women are pathetic beyond all comprehension. They are manipulative, self important and hypocrites.

[KrakenAttackin]

Selfishness. Women feel shame but they don't feel guilt.

[Asker]

They’re evolutionary things going on here. There was a time in history where women had to be selfish for survival purposes. They feel less guilt about acting entitled.

But in the so called “modern and equal” world women are still behaving this way. It’s time to call them out on it and quit giving them “a pass” just because they are women.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Agreed. But we all know how poorly women deal with criticism and accountability.

[Asker]

The only way men can fight back is to quit giving undeserving women attention. That does work. Even in modern society it still stings women.

The problem is that male brains have been wired TO give women attention. The very sound of their voices gives us hope at a subconscious level. So it takes a lot of self discipline to check ourselves to not give in.

But I swear if men collectively started to refuse to stop giving undeserving women attention it would force modern women to finally take accountability. But I don’t think men will ever collectively do that. If we did then stupid ass platforms like OnlyFans would go out of business.

But too many men cave. They need to take advice from other men and stick to it.

[HateyouxD]

I'm not gonna read this. But it is what it is

[Asker]

Why didn’t you read it. I didn’t go off on a rant. I tried to make a fair and honest observation.

[HateyouxD]

I feel for you homie.
I don't know why get mad at shit that's obvious.
there's nothing you can do 1pm are fucking entitled
And then the guy still fucking likes her. So now 2 people actually maybe like eachother instead of the guy telling the girl what she did isn't cool lay the boundaries kn her and give her 1 last chance to not play no games with him and to talk. But a lot of y'all are not men enough and I'll admit there's a lot of bitches out there. If you dont agree imma just say you dont understand and that's okay. I'm sorry. I also hope you feel better

[Asker]

Ah that response was all over the place. Not following you at all there. Also I asked this question specifically in response to this stupid question I saw on GAG today.

This isn’t something that happened to me recently but it did happen about a year ago. I asked a girl out and she happened to be taken. No big deal and I respect that. Disappointed? Yes. Angry? No.

So I just kept nice small talk with the girl but gave her nothing more because she isn’t worth any more of my time/attention. Wasn’t rude to her but I have zero interest in being her “friend” either.

But here is the stupid question.

[Asker]

Why he ignores me after I rejected him? ↗

[HateyouxD]

Because she wanted to stay friends. A lot of girls think boys and girls can just be friends. I know when a man talks to me he wants to fuck. I know when I'm ignored he wants to fuck. All men wanna fuck it's not bad!! What's bad is the disrespect most men feel entitled to when rejected. But that's another story for a different day lol

[Asker]

Hey I straight up said that “a mature man can and should handle rejection.” A made a point on that key difference there.

Men can reject friendships just like women can reject sex/relationships. That doesn’t mean he should be an asshole about it. But just moving on and no longer talking to her isn’t “disrespectful”. Nope. The woman is just upset she isn’t getting his attention anymore. That’s where the selfishness and entitlement come in.

Also I’ve been in the reverse position before. I know it’s not fun rejecting someone. Still I never felt entitled to their attention afterwards. It felt shitty but I understood why they went on their way. You should too.

[HateyouxD]

I understand love. And I'm very glad things happened the way they did💜
Just wish people will move tf on

[Asker]

Good. Thank you.

I got raked over the coals with a girl who kept talking to me after she choose to date someone else in college (married and has kids with him today). This went on for almost 2 years. I had no idea about the friéndzone back then. I would ignore her and she would call me.

Now obviously I’m not that stupid nowadays to go along with that torturous bs. But women have no idea how insulting it is to the guy when they feel entitled to “friendship” after they (announced or not) decide to romantically reject a guy.

I think you get it. But a lot of other girls don’t.

[HateyouxD]

Sometimes the girl wants the other guy but actually likes him and doesn't want to jump in dating and or fucking.
I'd rather take it very slow with someone I like. I'm very cautious with guys I like. I dont wnat to look or sound or smell funny I have to make sure everything is perfect lol but the guy I suggested friendship too to get to know better was very short with me as he felt rejected. I didn't know how I felt and th in ngs went extremely too fast it scared me. Then when he cut the cord I did my best to get him back ONLY because I liked him and didn't want him to leave but to this day it has me thinking he's someone who goes way too fast he's someone who wknt compromise. Everything I dont need in a man so I'm not tripping about it. It is what it is he ain't willing to listen we too toxic for eachother anyway he's a player and I'm too passionate for him which means he was just looking for an ego boost and bomb sex any way it is what it is homie

[HateyouxD]

In your case you didn't see the signs maybe.. I don't know to me she just liked you as a friend I had a guy like that who was like you LOL i rejected him all the time wasn't feeling him

[HateyouxD]

So it's a lose lose but you win cause you can find someone else who won't treat u like that homie

[Asker]

@hateyouxd well I’ve been around the block a few times now. I got radar for that bs. It’s still insulting when women even attempt it but still I haven’t been suckered like that in at least 12 years.

Anyway no one is teaching young boys how to handle these ba scenarios where women shamelessly exploit them as orbiters. I sure as hell was never warned about that in my day. Had to find out through pain and agony.

But why is that so many women don’t feel any guilt about trying to do this bs to men? Why is the burden always on the guy to watch out for it? Women have been calling out men for their bs (metoo) but they still want their special privileges?

Anyway I guess I’m preaching to the choir here. Just saying my two cents but I know it won’t change anything. But that stupid question I used for that example was asked by a grown ass woman who is at least 30. (She’s anon 30-35). That insane she still believes she deserves attention from a man she rejected.

[HateyouxD]

The man is weird.
She rejected him isn't she in a relationship? Or even just work buddies no one smart shits where they eat.
And she wanted to get to know him. Dudes an idiot. O well.
Orbiters are creepy tho I've orbited all because I had no game or clue what I was doing. You live and you learn. Now I can walk in a room and get 10 fishies on a hook.

[Asker]

Well she’s even more weird and very stupid.

[HateyouxD]

lol if that's how you feel so be it. Plenty of other bigger amd better fish in the sea homie

[HateyouxD]

Now.. if you'll excuse me

[Asker]

Sorry to drag this on. But we both know that no man would get away asking something that stupid.