Do wearing headphones/earphones in public look anti-social or unapproachable?

[kisaragi5TH]

I love music, and I love wearing my headphones when I'm out but sometimes I wonder if they make me look unapproachable or anti-social.

I've been noticing sometimes females checking me out or giving me glances, but sometimes I feel the headphones give off a "dont talk to me" kind of vibe, so I usually have to take them off and try to start some a convo. There has been times were females have tried to approach me and talk to me but I didn't hear them at first which made them feel like I sort of ignored them...I would take the headphones off and ask them "huh?", then they would not saying anything else, lol.

In my opinion I do think when females wear headphones/earphones it does look like it closes them off. The only thing I would probably ask is "what are you listening to?"

If you want to talk someone wearing headphones, it feels like you are taking them out of their vibe and you HAVE to engage in a good, steady conversation with them, or else...they will just put their music right back on.

Any thoughts on this? Do you feel headphones make the opposite sex look unapproachable?

[RideThroughTheRain]

Yeah, they can. If a person seems busy, I generally try not to disturb them. What kind of headphones are they? I notice a lot of people telling you what to do with earbuds, but if they are the big headphones, you know, the solid stereo kind, I'd say wear them around your neck. Turn up the music just enough that you can hear it, but not enough that it would bother other people or that they could hear what you're listening to. To me, a person with headphones on looks unavailable to talk to, but someone with a nice pair of headphones around their neck looks classy. It also gives me a little bit to talk about, because I can ask what kind of music the person likes, and see where the conversation leads from there. I remember two people in particular for whom the headphones were a draw-in, because I thought we might have similar interests. (Funny thing was, the guy was only wearing the headphones for show... They weren't even plugged in. The girl actually kept her music on, at a low volume, while we were talking.) It feels less like you're pulling them out of their groove if they don't have to make any physical adjustment to look like they're paying attention. I don't know what sort of headphones you are using, but if you're using the sturdy kind (not earbuds), around your neck is probably the most inviting place for them to be, in my opinion. Then you're approachable and you can enjoy your music at the same time. :)

[LaughOutLoudWithMe]

lol I THINK THE SAME THING! I call my headphones my ears because I wear them almost as often as I wear my ears lol. I think in cases like this the only thing people can take as clues are facial expressions and body language lol. This is how I think people measure approachability - when the person is wearing their ears. I always think I look approachable or at least not 'closed off' because if I make eye contact with anyone I smile and more often then not I'm dancing a little to what I'm listening to. Tapping my fingers - I'm a very animated music listener ok! Although when I see other people with their ears on they look bored so I put an invisible 'do not disturb' sticker on their forehead (in my mind - relax I'm not THAT crazy) BUT to answer your question - yes, I do feel headphones make ANY gender look unapproachable :)...xX

[Cormycakez]

I have a habit of only wearing an earbud in one ear if I'm open to talking (I usually have two moods pertaining to people, either I'm lovable, outgoing and occasionally crazy or I don't want to speak, this is usually only around my family or when someone has stressed me out). Granted I prefer studio headphones (which I don't have right now) so that might make a difference as to wether I'm approached or not. But if someone does come up to me I usually immediately take out my headphones and listen to what they have to say, I consider this not only respectful but feel that when I do that I'm saying 'I want to talk to you'.

[easilun]

Well im a guy who listens to music on big headphones instead of earphones because headphones that aren't noise canceling allow you to hear your suroundings better.

And also, do people really care about this shit? People won't care unless they're thugs.dealt with quite a few of those before.

[Anonymous]

Antisocial... Really depends, a little extreme to call people who wear headphones in public antisocial. Unapproachable, without a doubt. I never ever approached a girl who put on headphones. Sad that many good looking girls put on headphones in my school.

[likeabird]

Yeah, I think so, which is a shame because I love listening to music. I know that personally, a lot of the time, I wear earphones so that people don't talk to me, so I assume that applies to other people too and won't approach them.

The other week I was on the bus, and was punched accidentally by a handsome stranger. I said it was fine, but didn't want to make it seem like a big deal by pulling out my earphones. We exchanged smiling glances the whole journey and I hugely regretted having them because it meant I couldn't just strike up a casual conversation - it would be awkward if it flopped and I just put them back in to resume ignoring him haha!

[Grace00007]

Yes. Nobody wants to talk to you when you're playing your music because:

1. You're obviously busy listening to a song, and

2. We don't want to deal with that awko taco moment when you're all like "what?" and you look all pissed off because now you have to take your headphones out to talk to us.

Seriously, I (and most other people, probably) put headphones in when I don't want people to talk to me. And I absolutely hate when someone tries to talk to me while I have them in because I don't want to pause my music and take the headphones out.

If you want people to talk to you, don't sit there looking completely preoccupied.

[confugirl]

Yeah it does. Even though I'm a raging hypocrite and love my music too, I also feel like everyone wearing them is difficult to talk to. When I wear earphones, it's because music makes me happy. But when someone else wears them, I either assume they don't want to talk or it's too difficult for me to get their attention. I know most people who wear earphones don't do so because they're anti-social, but it makes conversation difficult.

I'm nervous enough as it is, approaching a guy WITHOUT headphones. But if he does wear earphones, then first I have to get his attention, then wait for him to take out the earphones and THEN start talking. That builds up the anticipation and makes me more nervous. It also makes me feel like I've ruined their "vibe" or something. Both very discouraging.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it does. I know that we don't always mean it to be antisocial, but in point of fact you're showing the world that you don't care about anything outside your own sound bubble. It's off-putting.

Actually, there was a GAG article about this months and months ago. (Last summer?) It was a list of positive and negative body language, and headphones/earphones were on the No-No list as they clearly signal a person to back off, that you're just not interested.

When I'm walking around and want to change my thoughts a little, I plug one earphone in and leave the other one tied to the chord. This way if a friend passes I can chat with them rather than seeming unavailable.

[noidfome]

They definitely do. At college, the general *rule* is to not bother someone who looks busy. Listening to both headphones looks busy. If they are earbuds, drop one out, and then it's more of a casual thing-and I would then be okay to approach you. Or when you see these ladies checking you out, take a bud out and smile at them. Lots of girls are terribly shy.

[kereru]

I'm into music in a big way too, but its not that headphones make you look unapproachable, it's that you kind of ARE unapproachable when you're wearing them, like, when you see someone with headphones I don;t think they're anti social but I just think "ok, dude is obviously listening to music, would be super awkward and intrusive to try and talk to him right now"

i would just feel like I was disturbing you.

[sockz]

I wear my headphones when I don't want people to talk to me; mostly when waiting for the train or on the train. There's lots of weird folk out there. If I want to listen to both music and people then I wear one earbud and let the other ear go free but I don't expect to meet people in places where I'd be wearing headphones.

[dodgypirate]

Let's be honest here, the only people who find headphone users anti social are the people who didn't have this kind of technology during their younger years.

It's like saying it's anti social when old men/women sh*t down by themselves reading the newspaper and if you start talking to them you might get the same vibe.

I listen to music (with headphones) when I'm on public transport most of the time, hell I'm using headphones at the moment answering questions of GAG.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I don't think so, it probably just depends on how bold the other person is to tap or say something to the listener. I have an earphone(s) in all the time when I look around someone still feels the need to try to talk to me.

[Barton89]

Yes dude. I do when I don't want to talk to people. Also, when I am at work (a library) and people approach my counter with their headphones I get a little upset because I find it rude and hard to talk to someone with music blaring in their ears.

[cutebubble]

headphones, a little bit. Not so much antisocial, just that everyone knows you're listening to music and probably won't attempt to talk to you unless they really need to ask something.

[freyaboisselle]

Generally, I don't bug guys with headphones on eventhough I want to talk to them. It's just seems awkward.

[kitkat1991991]

I don't think they make you look anti-social but they do make you look unapproachable because people would feel that you wouldn't hear them if they tried to talk to you.

[skycarey02]

I think not, like the music is its own thing, and want to do things, do not need the opinions of others to follow his heart.

[kdizzleforizzle91]

In my experience, that's not true. Everytime I'm listening to music, I don't want to be bothered, but people still up and start talking to me anyway.

[blackwaterhattie]

I don't mess with anyone wearing headphones. I figure they are busy doing their thing and that I shouldn't interrupt.

[kaorirecreation]

Yes, they could unintentionally give off "don't want to talk" vibes.

[emzy-89]

It comes across as being rude and anti-social, if you're talking to someone you should take the headphones out/off.

[JamielovesKU]

Yea, but I go out like that, cause I don't want to be sociable

[Moloch]

I don't talk to girls that have headphones on. Simple as that.