Food & Beverage

Dear Coffee, I love you but I hate you!

Dear Coffee, I love you but I hate you!

Dear Coffee,

I love you but I hate you. When I wake up, you are always the first thing on my mind. Oh the captivating aroma you have! When I go down stairs, all I think about is you. As I am making you in my coffee bean grinder, I think about all the times you helped me. When I stayed up all night and could barely keep my eyes open the next morning, you helped me stay awake—sort of. When I woke up feeling like a lazy sh*t, you made me feel like a lazy winner! When I taste you, my stomach automatically rejects you but my brain loves you! This is why you are so complicated, coffee. When I drink you a few minutes later I can not help but regret drinking you. When I drink you, my bowels act like they are in a race to jump out of my body and I usually end up with stomach cramps and on the pot in T-20 minutes. But it is worth it! After my pain and suffering is over and I feel 20 pounds lighter, you make me feel like I am a winner. Like I can ace my test. Like I can complete my homework at home without waiting until the very last minute. Like I can be the productive person I have always wanted to be. You make me feel awake and alive!

No matter how many times I drink you, you will always disappointment me; however, you always make me realize that the pain... the struggle... the excessive bowel movements...are worth it! I love you coffee. I love you with chocolate almond milk and a drop of almond creamer. I love you with and without the bowel movements (not really). I want to thank you for your service and your hard work in making me a functional human being.

Drink you tomorrow morning :)

Love,

My-life-is-a-mess-and-I-am-dependent-on-coffee

P.S. you also make my breath stink!

Dear Coffee, I love you but I hate you!
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