Girl's Behavior

My Life As A Child

The days when all I ever have to worry about was play time and being scolded are long gone – just like that, in the blink of an eye.


One day you’d realize time has ran out and you can never go back.


I sometimes feel old at 20 to be honest. I feel that I’m too serious, too fearful, too lacking of the ability to just be loose and chill like all other 20 year olds are. To be courageous enough to fall in love and break my heart or contest someone else’s idea.


And I wish to change that.


I wish I can go back to being a kid and break all the rules when rules were simpler, when minds were innocent, when I didn’t have to understand a lot, when worrying didn’t exist, when it was only a bruised knee or elbow that was painful and not a bruised heart. Yes, I’m single at 20, but a bruised heart doesn’t really translate to romance-gone-bad to me. Anyone can bruise your heart.


My childhood days? I don’t remember most of them. There’s not much to remember anyway. It’s not like I’m like other kids who had freedom; me, I had fear. I wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things so I’ll just tell you what I’m allowed to do other than the basic necessities of breathing, bathing, sleeping and eating. All I was allowed to do was keep quiet and keep myself clean.


So you see, it was a sad childhood. After bath time, all I’m allowed do is watch TV. I can’t shout, I can’t speak up, I can’t answer, I can’t explain myself, I can’t make a mistake, I can’t play too loudly, I can’t play too roughly, I can’t ask for this, I can’t want that. There was a lot.


The few times I remember having fun was when I broke the rules and eventually got scolded. I recount that I didn’t really care about being scolded after my fun was over because the thrill was still there. I wish I did it more often. Maybe I wouldn’t crave for it as much now if I was able to do it then.


I feel sad remembering those memories because I would really like to have more of them.


I didn’t have much playmates either. It was just me and my brother.


So you can say I’m not exactly a social butterfly at this point.


All this, I know there’s no point in regretting what I couldn’t change, what I couldn’t have controlled. I guess I just want to say that children only got one childhood. Let the child act and be like a child because he won’t be one in a few years time. Children need guidance. Don’t push them too hard. They’re not plants you can prune and twist to suit what you like.


You’d be more thankful that your problem with them now is just that bruise when he fell off the bicycle or that stain on his expensive shirt or that he broke his brand new toy. Instead of robbing them of childhood and dealing with the aftermath of bruising their young hearts at a later time.


Me, all I can do is become a better person by learning from the mistakes that made me who I am today.


I know my childhood isn't as sweet as this cake below nor are my experiences comparable to those who have had it worse, but it's a part of me that I accept. A part that will make me whole, nonetheless.


My Life As A Child



This is Red Velvet Cake. I put it here because of a lack of a better picture to represent the topic but mostly because GAG wouldn't let me post without a picture.


Also I'm craving for some yummy red velvet cake.


I hope you all have a nice day!

My Life As A Child
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