As a sufferer of PMS, I feel it’s often overlooked or even dismissed as just “that time of the month” or “she’s unnecessarily being a bitch”. It’s really not true. Whilst for some women, PMS is not even a factor or not so bad, for others it’s a real nightmare. I’m hoping I can shed some light on why PMS can be a real problem for some women and how it can affect them and others around them.
What is PMS?
PMS is short for Premenstrual Symptoms, also called PMT (Premenstrual Tension). It is a range of symptoms that a woman experiences up to 2 weeks before or after her period. PMS has been linked with over 50 symptoms each varying from woman to woman. Whilst some women do not get any PMS or have little symptoms, others have a wide range of symptoms that affects their day to day lives.
Some symptoms of PMS include:
· Bloating
· Back pain
· Fatigue
· Cravings
· Headaches
· Tension
· Hormone surges
· Poor concentration
· Joint pain
· Mood swings
· Breast tenderness
And many more. Most would’ve experienced these symptoms at least sometime during their cycle. If you are lucky, you may have few symptoms. Or, if you are like me, you get almost all of them.
Where is the problem?
PMS comes with a lot of physical symptoms like pain and fatigue but it’s the mental ones that really create the terrible experience. Mainly the mood swings and hormone changes. During this time the chemical serotonin fluctuates and rises and plummets. As mentioned before, some women may not experience this but there are quite a lot of women who actually experience extreme PMS with horrendous mood swings swinging from anger, joy and upset. These rapid mood changes take a toll on these women and prove to be just exhausting. Often the women try their best to control themselves and their emotions but it’s a lot more difficult than it seems. Do you remember being a teenager? Do you remember the hormones changes that could really affect your mood? It’s like that.
It’s different when your emotion/mood is influenced by surroundings, yourself or an event but when it’s the hormones within you and your own body bringing on what often seems like emotions without any reason then it becomes more difficult to fight.
Imagine waking up angry or extremely upset for absolutely no reason at all and trying to change your mood to one that is more positive but you just can’t. This is where the problem comes in. It’s easy to get irritated and accidentally snap at someone and then instantly comes the “wow, is it that time of the month?” and inside you’re just screaming “I’m sorry, I wish I could’ve stopped it!” It’s like a spiralling loss of control of yourself. You cannot control your feelings and often your actions also. It seems easy to say that if you are angry you should just suppress it, try to calm down, count to 10 or whatever but what actually happens is a build-up and often releasing it is the only way to sort of quell it. It’s like a raging fire and letting it burn something from time to time dies it out.
I assume that by now most are thinking “this is all no reason to act like a bitch!” And indeed, it is not but it does go deeper than just acting out because you feel like making everyone else’s lives a misery. Perhaps I should get more personal with this. Right now I am in the midst of PMS. I feel ok but this was far from what I was feeling last month. I had incredible fits of rage, outbursts of both anger and joy and even a crying fit. I found even not being able to tie my shoelace properly extraordinarily frustrating. Along with all other physical experiences I was having, it was becoming harder and harder to just slap on a smile and act like I’m happy. Yet everyone else just assumed that this was my entire fault, I should just control myself. I tried my best but whether I kept it in or not, just not being happy in general I found people still had an issue even if I wasn’t directing any angst their way and just keeping to myself. It dawned on me that perhaps people just don’t understand how much PMS can actually damage and it also occurred to me that I didn’t understand how much I was affecting those around me around these times. I quickly took to the web to see I wasn’t alone, a lot of people were also having this issue and they said it was very real and it really did need to be dealt with.
It may be PDD
PDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is the name of severe PMS which includes bigger and more emotional and behavioural symptoms like anxiety, hopelessness, extreme moodiness and irritability. A lot of women drift into the realms of PDD and attribute it with regular PMS not understanding that it’s further than that and now it’s a real problem. The extreme symptoms and mood shifts can start to affect things such as work and relationships. Many women get into arguments and fights with loved ones or start to do poorly within work all attributed down to these symptoms that they are getting for about 10 days. It’s at this point that it needs to be recognized that PMS (or PDD) is more than just being bitchy because it’s “that time” and more a sign of bigger problem that needs to be recognised and dealt with by all involved.
What can be done about this?
Just by reading this I hope people understand about it more. A lot of women will sit and suffer in silence, not wanting to fall into stereotypes or be dismissed by being told they’re ‘overreacting’ or that ‘it’s all in their head’ when in fact inside it is a terrible problem that leaves them fearing their next cycle. I found that when I knew PMS week was coming off I’d become distant and more antisocial, refusing to talk or be around people because I didn’t want my moods to affect them and further damage our relationship. I realised this was wrong and did nothing to help me except isolate me and make me feel even worse when it did come along. So what did I do? I spoke about it. I told the people I live with, my mother and nephew, my best friend and my boyfriend. I explained to them what it was, how it made me feel and why I would act the way I did. I apologised and excused my behaviour to which my boyfriend told me I didn’t have to. Once they understood it became easier, they helped me gain more control. I was also prompted to go to my doctor about the condition in which he let me know of vitamins to take and herbal remedies to reduce my symptoms. Now I can sit here and not be annoyed because I dropped my dental floss on the floor or suddenly have a bout of self-loathing and sadness only to switch around into a crazy, almost mental state of happiness within the next second.
The bottom line is, if PMS is affecting you and those around you, do not stay quiet and suffer with it. Communication is key in all aspects of life, help others help you. Also, help yourself; there are indeed instances where I didn’t control myself when I was very capable of doing so, recognising when you’re doing this and learning to correct your behaviours can help you on your step to…recovery? I guess it does feel like that. And for those who are not PMS/PDD sufferers, I hope you understand it lies deeper than just lashing out for no reason and that the stereotypes of “just using an excuse to be pissy” are wrong and in some cases, hurtful. We should stop belittling what a woman truly feels in these times, no one ever asked for all of this. It’s very easy when it’s not you to turn up your nose and immediately throw out the stereotype but it is important to try to understand and then help, especially if they are someone close to you. And for those suffering, try to get people to understand, they won’t know if you don’t tell them.
Solving the issue
As I said above, talking about it is the first step and ladies, recognising when you are actually in the wrong for taking out frustrations, etc. is the next step. Another step is perhaps seeing your doctor as I did, especially if you suspect you may have PDD. The doctor may prescribe medication such as antidepressants or birth control to ease symptoms. For those on the outside, helping the sufferer during this time simply by lending them an ear or helping them to know when they’re being out of order (politely). Relationship repair is also good too if PMS has previously contributed to wrecking it. Taking essential vitamins will also help PMS especially Evening Primrose Oil and Starflower Oil which has been said to reduce so much mood fluctuation and even out symptoms. Raspberry leaf tea has been said to reduce cramps whilst spearmint tea has been said to balance hormones and works especially well for women with PCOS.
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