Bitterness is a Cancer that you CAN overcome

[LittleSally]

All of you have, ad least once in your lives, met a bitter person who seems to repel everyone they come into contact with. Like a dog that can smell cancer growing inside of a person so can people 'smell' the bitterness and past desparation on another human being.

Why do people hold on to their bitterness?

Why can't they seem to move on?

Maybe it's not that they like being bitter, it's that they like the feeling of that state they've come to know so well - they are accustomed to it and unwilling to get better.

Bitterness can take many forms: meanness, self-rightousness, depression, self-blame, compliance, the state of giving up on everything (it actually turns into a state, it's not an activity any more).

How to overcome it?

• Be honest with yourself. [Firstly - admit you're bitter. Many people are. Few admit and accept it. Only when you do these things you can try to rectify your situation.]

• Do a self-esteem check. [This might be the time to rediscover something you were once really good at that you put on the back-burner during a relationship, a demanding job - be it dancing, team sports, music, whatever. The point is to rebuild your own sense of self.]

• Ask for help. [Support is especially important right now. Be aware, however, that family and friends can only take you so far because they’re emotionally invested. Most of the work here is on you.]

• Actively work on your own healing. [Do what you need to do to get better. Put yourself first for a change, focus on what makes you feel good and work on the things that may not give you the same atisfaction right now. Hard work will pay off.]

• Get closure. [If there's something that's missing in your life, or something you wish to clarify, ask for that clarification, search for that missing ingrediant. Don't just stand idily by while the world evolves around you while you dwindle in self pity and wondering.]

• Recognize the opportunities at hand. [Don't let the things you want pass you by. Keep your eyes open and be ready for anything that may come your way.]

P.S.

One last piece of advice: sever your ties with people who are bitter - they serve no purpose but to weigh you down. (Unless they're family and friends - then try to help them out.)

[Bipolarjew02015]

It's the situations in life, bad consequences, and shifty people who make people who they are. There are bitter people mainly because other people make them that way. Like for example I'm bitter from rejection I'm bitter from a fucked up childhood I'm bitter from mistreatment in the past but what makes me even more angry and unforgiving is that all that time is gone and can't be restored I'm 24 years old and never been in a fucking relationship and there's not a damn thing I can do about it

[Bipolarjew02015]

Shitty people*

[coconutelixir]

@Bipolarjew02015 "I'm 24 years old and never been in a fucking relationship and there's not a damn thing I can do about it" -- maybe not about the past, but looking at the present and future, you can definitely turn that around. what's holding you back?

[Bipolarjew02015]

I don't know maybe because I'm ugly and I'm not good talking to females

[Monsters]

Why that user name just curious

[Bipolarjew02015]

It's just a made up username I thought was hilarious no meaning behind it

[GirlsLie]

Nice take but you're going to attract tons of bitter people who ignore what you said and justify their bitterness in all of the comments lol

[LittleSally]

I know... already happened. xD

[GirlsLie]

lol it's just a vicious cycle. "Why don't women want me" "i'm only bitter because women don't want me".

Well I don't know maybe instead of expecting random people to change/cater to how you are, why not work on yourself first... it kills me lol

[Bipolarjew02015]

Forgive me for intruding but I am going to honestly admit I've been bitter I'm human we've all been bitter and it varies from person to person on how they cope with it or how they handle that bitterness and the length of time it takes for them to move on from what caused them to bitter. I know bitterness is a poison it is a self destructive emotion. But anyways aside from that you mention to work on yourself well I've definitely improved certain things about myself but i have not changed who i am if you understand what I mean what kills me is what change people want to see in me and that I have to be somebody everybody in my life wants to envision me to be but I want to be myself and to remain that way (I don't want to be or try to be someone I'm not even if it's at the cost of anyone's approval)

[LittleSally]

@Bipolarjew02015
But then you don't have to be bitter because people want you to be a certain way. If people always tried to be what others wanted them to be the population of this Earth would go insane.
If you're satisfied with yourself - that's the strongest motivation for you NOT to be bitter. =)

[fiodor99]

bitter is a misleading word. it's cultural degeneration. saying bitter we imply the "healthy alternative" is just equally prideful; with "self esteem" and a bit cold/narcissistic/selfish. bitterness is not a condition on its own its a symptom of a deeper and broader spiritual illness. that person has hurt pride. its not the addition of more pride that will cure him/her. it is humility and the true confidence which is that in the mercy of God.

[Northeast106]

I hope I don't come across as bitter, but anyway good mytake. It's true though, bitterness is something I see in people everyday, I try not to be, but sometimes it is infectious.

[Roostah]

People should hold onto their bitterness to a degree to remind themselves what shitty people are.

[sluggognatface]

Can a tiger change his stripes? Only if he perceives them to be changed.

[iamyourneighbor]

"All of you have, ad least once in your lives, met a bitter person who seems to repel everyone they come into contact with"

Did you mean to write the word "at" Instead of "ad"

It would have been nice if you actually defined what bitterness is

[LittleSally]

Haha Yes, 'at'. xD

Yup, you're right...

[iamyourneighbor]

I think that getting Better isn't something that occurs overnight. I think it is insensitive for some people to think that a person who went through a traumatic experience will get better just by following certain steps
I think only a professional can help

[LittleSally]

I was talking about bitterness - that doesn't happen from one moment, one traumatic experience...
I see it was a bigger mistake not including the definition of bitterness than I thought...

[OpenWine]

Problem is.. I am not bitter. I am honest

[LittleSally]

Oh, no, honesty should never be confused with bitterness...

[OpenWine]

Right. I just don't have a sweet personality, not at first sight

[LittleSally]

That's cool. =)

[Byakoko]

Hey can you help me with my closure?
read my latest question

[jacquesvol]

MGTOWs and MRAs can't overcome it.