At the end of the day, men will be men. The 'bad guy' or whatever is just a spoilt child, it tends to bring out the maternal instinct in women who end up sympathizing with the so called assholes. That and also the usual recklessness that people mistake for confidence. Its like playing with fire, fun till it burns you.
I think men understand why women would want a guy who is confident or even cocky. What they have a problem with is when girls can't tell or don't seem to care is the confidence is all a pose, that's it's based on nothing. The guy is a complete loser and fuckwit and his confidence is a ridiculous sham.
"He, the young man carbuncular, arrives, A small house agentβs clerk, with one bold stare, One of the low on whom assurance sits As a silk hat on a Bradford millionaire. "
Yeah confidence is always good. Although I do understand how most "cocky guys" are confident only at a superficial level, it is often visible - not all girls are blind. The ones who are will realize one day.
Thus being said, there ARE guys who are genuinely over-confident. I personally wouldn't be with them, but that doesn't mean I'm not at all a bit attracted, for various reasons.
Eliot portrays a cocky guy - who has seeming little ground to support his arrogance. But we don't know, all we know of is his job - maybe he's heir to a great family? Maybe the clerk position is simply a disguise to mask something greater? We don't know, it was all in one perspective. Although he is despised, and the poem makes the reader hate him, in reality, that self-assurance may get him somewhere - not far, but somewhere.
I just try always to be myself.. no bad ass image here.. I am always honest, respect the women I am with, treat her right, and always listen to what she may have to say.. that has always worked for me and all my dates have liked and loved me for being that way.. but I guess if someone does want to call me a bad ass. well so be it.. I would not care what others think of me.. everyone has opinions on everything.. we are all different.. but overall we all have the same blood color.. Red
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Anonymous
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+1 y
I agree, but for me the guy had to have the body to back up the talk. I always thought it was so hilarious to see these little scrawny guys who tried to act like badasses. I was like, go away and call me when you get some muscle and grow about 6 inches in height. But for those guys with the strength and size to back it up, they were super hot, like I'd get nervous just being around them. Dominance is sooo sexy!
It's true though, and at least you are coming forward to this. Most girls will deny this throughout all their twenties to only recognize it on their mid thirties and start noticing the actual nice guys. That's how it goes.
Yeah, I keep on seeing reassurances that simply being nice is "enough," and that all "bad boys" are phonies. Although oftentimes true, people still wonder why douchebags seem to be so well off - relationship wise. I do agree nice guys win at the end though, I only wanted to bring about another perspective. But thanks for the support :)
Not really, nice guys don't win in the end. They just happen to find someone who settles with them, and that someone already had plenty of fun with the assholes.
The only thing you forgot though is looks. If that was included you would already speak in behalf of all girls who seem to deny all of this all the time.
A nice guy might not have the same number of relationships as said stereotypical asshole, but nice guys are the ones committed to longer relationships - so in that sense, I still do think they win. "They just happen to find someone who settles with them, and that someone already had plenty of fun with the assholes." I think you're focusing on a TYPE of girl too - the party/idgaf one... They're also the type that would go around and be with multiple guys like this. More people are pretty mellow/conservative with their relationships - which doesn't help since social media always portrays that the only men who are in relationships are the super-hot super-confident ones. But yeah. I was focusing on the psychological aspects... should had included looks - can't deny it
I disagree again, being in more relationships and dating more actually gives more inside and experiences on a lot of things. I'm not saying being in long relationships is bad or anything, but being involved in more of these is actually more beneficial in the long run, you become wiser and clearer in what you really want.
Sure, I mentioned an specific type of girl but aren't most girls like this these days? As far as I've noticed they are. Not all, but most girls have lots of casual sex from their teen years until their mid twenties and this usually involves the bad guys. After that point is where most girls are really looking to settle down even though I understand a few of them get attached with decent guys from very early.
Okay true, but what are you disagreeing with? Your intention for dating more frequently is for experience and self-awareness, not for the sake of looking alpha and increasing slay count. Plus, you're not an asshole...
As to girls nowadays, no, I don't think "most" are like that. The ones that are, are also the ones to broadcast their party lifestyle too, though. Many are still romanticizing a "cute" couple, not a billion hook ups... At least where I'm from. Then again, I've also noted that there are certain cultural aspects that are very different from the US and Canada, so there's that as well.
if you think like this , girls and OP, you need to grow the fuck up. Men like this will just hurt you and use you and prove how much of a silly little girl you were for being even slightly interested.
good take, and ur right that many girls fall for this.
i fall for it only when i find out he's nice too. him having ALL THAT aanddd being a decent human being is such a turn on. the off limits is such a struggle tho oh my lawd.
Aha I wrote it because I felt gag is lacking in alternate perspectives. It's a bit exaggerated since not all girls feel the same, but thanks for the comment :)
I'm nothing like these kind of guys and it's true, girls only like guys you describe. My username says it all but it sucks because guys around me are all cocky deuce assholes.
"girls only like guys you describe" that's also wrong. I was only describing why women would be with such people, but it does not mean women ONLY want to be with said people. In the long term, many women do want to settle down, hence an asshole just won't do it.
So I guess every girl is crushing on that butthole Donald trump? He's a special case of arrogant or ignorant, but apparently that is good for some people too
If women want to date a**holes then don't be sexist about men when he breaks your heart and don't come bitching and complaing to me either. I am not the good man that will make you feel better when it was the woman's fault in the first place just to see her go back to the a**hole. Stuff that, I am not going to be used. If a girl dates an a**hole she is on her own when her heart gets broken.
Yeah. The ones that drink a lot, smoke (either regular cigarettes or marijuana both of which I would never do). I was horny and they were the only ones around. Only recently did I learn that good girls that are also attractive exist just in small quantity.
Uh oh! You're going against the norm on GaG. The norm is to discourage the guys on here who know that these kinds of guys get the women into believing they don't. You're going to have women on here pissed.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
51Opinion
At the end of the day, men will be men. The 'bad guy' or whatever is just a spoilt child, it tends to bring out the maternal instinct in women who end up sympathizing with the so called assholes. That and also the usual recklessness that people mistake for confidence. Its like playing with fire, fun till it burns you.
I don't like thinking of maternal instincts on someone my own age, but actually really like that notion. Thanks for opinon
You're welcome.
You sir; deserve a cookie. Spot on
I think men understand why women would want a guy who is confident or even cocky. What they have a problem with is when girls can't tell or don't seem to care is the confidence is all a pose, that's it's based on nothing. The guy is a complete loser and fuckwit and his confidence is a ridiculous sham.
"He, the young man carbuncular, arrives,
A small house agentβs clerk, with one bold stare,
One of the low on whom assurance sits
As a silk hat on a Bradford millionaire. "
Yeah confidence is always good.
Although I do understand how most "cocky guys" are confident only at a superficial level, it is often visible - not all girls are blind. The ones who are will realize one day.
Thus being said, there ARE guys who are genuinely over-confident. I personally wouldn't be with them, but that doesn't mean I'm not at all a bit attracted, for various reasons.
Eliot portrays a cocky guy - who has seeming little ground to support his arrogance. But we don't know, all we know of is his job - maybe he's heir to a great family? Maybe the clerk position is simply a disguise to mask something greater? We don't know, it was all in one perspective. Although he is despised, and the poem makes the reader hate him, in reality, that self-assurance may get him somewhere - not far, but somewhere.
I just try always to be myself.. no bad ass image here.. I am always honest, respect the women I am with, treat her right, and always listen to what she may have to say.. that has always worked for me and all my dates have liked and loved me for being that way.. but I guess if someone does want to call me a bad ass. well so be it.. I would not care what others think of me.. everyone has opinions on everything.. we are all different.. but overall we all have the same blood color.. Red
I agree, but for me the guy had to have the body to back up the talk. I always thought it was so hilarious to see these little scrawny guys who tried to act like badasses. I was like, go away and call me when you get some muscle and grow about 6 inches in height. But for those guys with the strength and size to back it up, they were super hot, like I'd get nervous just being around them. Dominance is sooo sexy!
A nice body is hard to ignore. thanks for the opinion :)
It's true though, and at least you are coming forward to this. Most girls will deny this throughout all their twenties to only recognize it on their mid thirties and start noticing the actual nice guys. That's how it goes.
Yeah, I keep on seeing reassurances that simply being nice is "enough," and that all "bad boys" are phonies. Although oftentimes true, people still wonder why douchebags seem to be so well off - relationship wise.
I do agree nice guys win at the end though, I only wanted to bring about another perspective.
But thanks for the support :)
Not really, nice guys don't win in the end. They just happen to find someone who settles with them, and that someone already had plenty of fun with the assholes.
The only thing you forgot though is looks. If that was included you would already speak in behalf of all girls who seem to deny all of this all the time.
A nice guy might not have the same number of relationships as said stereotypical asshole, but nice guys are the ones committed to longer relationships - so in that sense, I still do think they win.
"They just happen to find someone who settles with them, and that someone already had plenty of fun with the assholes." I think you're focusing on a TYPE of girl too - the party/idgaf one... They're also the type that would go around and be with multiple guys like this.
More people are pretty mellow/conservative with their relationships - which doesn't help since social media always portrays that the only men who are in relationships are the super-hot super-confident ones. But yeah. I was focusing on the psychological aspects... should had included looks - can't deny it
I disagree again, being in more relationships and dating more actually gives more inside and experiences on a lot of things. I'm not saying being in long relationships is bad or anything, but being involved in more of these is actually more beneficial in the long run, you become wiser and clearer in what you really want.
Sure, I mentioned an specific type of girl but aren't most girls like this these days? As far as I've noticed they are. Not all, but most girls have lots of casual sex from their teen years until their mid twenties and this usually involves the bad guys. After that point is where most girls are really looking to settle down even though I understand a few of them get attached with decent guys from very early.
Okay true, but what are you disagreeing with? Your intention for dating more frequently is for experience and self-awareness, not for the sake of looking alpha and increasing slay count. Plus, you're not an asshole...
As to girls nowadays, no, I don't think "most" are like that. The ones that are, are also the ones to broadcast their party lifestyle too, though.
Many are still romanticizing a "cute" couple, not a billion hook ups... At least where I'm from. Then again, I've also noted that there are certain cultural aspects that are very different from the US and Canada, so there's that as well.
At which point guys their age will have wised up to their bullshit, and not want anything to do with them, lol.
if you think like this , girls and OP, you need to grow the fuck up. Men like this will just hurt you and use you and prove how much of a silly little girl you were for being even slightly interested.
I never said I would be with them.
ok then. Women mistake an asshole attitude for confidence. As if it was hard enough to repsect girls, this kind of thing makes it even harder.
Some mistake, most realize, but are still attracted. I wanted to shed some light onto why.
Amen brother!
good take, and ur right that many girls fall for this.
i fall for it only when i find out he's nice too. him having ALL THAT aanddd being a decent human being is such a turn on.
the off limits is such a struggle tho oh my lawd.
thanks bananas:)
but i agree, I wouldn't be with a guy like that if he was actually an ass. A little bit cocky is okay, if you're still a kind human x)
OH MY F*CKING GOSH
FINALLY ABOUT TIME THAT A GIRL FROM GAG ACKNOWLEDGES THIS VASTLY DENIED TRUTH.
Excellent points and analysis. at least you explored the psychology and subconsious behaviours behind this.
Aha I wrote it because I felt gag is lacking in alternate perspectives. It's a bit exaggerated since not all girls feel the same, but thanks for the comment :)
media.giphy.com/media/NEvPzZ8bd1V4Y/giphy.gif
Great take, well considered and concluded!
LOL thanks, can always count of you for an ego boost ;)
Eh I try. It's like I'm your mirror that shows you the image of a beautiful girl everything you take a look at it!
haha you're funny xD
a.fod4.com/.../tumblr_lkbahxSELN1qglrwm.gif
I know!
not true everyone has their own preference and we are all different. no such thing as nice guy or bad boy its all preference
I agree completely. "this doesn't apply to everyone"
I'm nothing like these kind of guys and it's true, girls only like guys you describe. My username says it all but it sucks because guys around me are all cocky deuce assholes.
"girls only like guys you describe"
that's also wrong. I was only describing why women would be with such people, but it does not mean women ONLY want to be with said people.
In the long term, many women do want to settle down, hence an asshole just won't do it.
Not true, the assholes get dates and experience, and there are girls with low self esteem who the assholes end up with, so they always win in the end.
So I guess every girl is crushing on that butthole Donald trump? He's a special case of arrogant or ignorant, but apparently that is good for some people too
LOOL
I'm not! I should have mentioned "looks" was a factor too... but eh. I have no idea why he's so popular either.
This is why I have no respect for Western women. They are as dumb as a rock and have destroyed marriage and family.
If women want to date a**holes then don't be sexist about men when he breaks your heart and don't come bitching and complaing to me either. I am not the good man that will make you feel better when it was the woman's fault in the first place just to see her go back to the a**hole. Stuff that, I am not going to be used. If a girl dates an a**hole she is on her own when her heart gets broken.
Amen bro. I mean not all Western women are like that, but you are hard pressed to find those that aren't.
It's not a partial lie. It's a full on lie. What do 'nice guys' win?
Friends. Family. Long-term relationships.
They do win eventually!
Being the person that a woman 'settles' for after not being able to get the hot guy to commit, isn't really winning.
He's right, "nice guys" are second choice
I used to feel the same way about bad girls but I grew out of that faze.
Bad girls? like the party/idgaf ones?
Glad to hear you did :)
Yeah. The ones that drink a lot, smoke (either regular cigarettes or marijuana both of which I would never do).
I was horny and they were the only ones around. Only recently did I learn that good girls that are also attractive exist just in small quantity.
So was it like an epiphany or gradual realization?
It was an epiphany. I actually wrote a myTake about it. It's called what I learned from my pursuit of girls.
Here it is
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23926-what-i-ve-learned-from-my-pursuit-of-girls
Why would it make you a "bad girl" if you drink alcohol and smoke?
@GhostOnToast Because it's rebellious in nature which makes the girl interesting but at the same time it is very harmful.
I get the point - but to most people it's a teenage phase... and then they grow out of it.
which is a good thing ^.^
Definitely =)
Nah I don't like assholes... Assholes are assholes, I want a nice person
sounds good :)
This is a great Take. Completely believable, well-composed, informative. Thank you!
Aw thank you!! ^.^
Derrick Morgan is a hottie
(I don't know his real name)
shemar moore... yeah he's one of the reasons I kept watching criminal minds aha
Like dang, if I was murdered please come & check over my body πππ
LOL I wouldn't mind at all...
Uh oh! You're going against the norm on GaG. The norm is to discourage the guys on here who know that these kinds of guys get the women into believing they don't. You're going to have women on here pissed.
LOL i like this x)
Yeah I feel like I've started a shit storm, there are guys and girls hating on me/what i've said, but oh well.