3. I have a boyfriend test.
Many people have heard this one, things are going great with a woman so you decide to make that first real move, maybe ask her out for a coffee and she might even say yes, but wait, "just to let you know, I have a boyfriend" oh no...
For most guys this will be like a spear in the chest, it stops most guys in their tracks "bbb-boyfriend??? but you were just flirting with me just a second ago!"
The Truth: The truth is that, yes, a girlfriend might have a boyfriend she really loves and is her "soulmate" but if you were flirting with each other, the chances are that she may be having doubts about the guy she is with OR that she hasn't got a boyfriend AT ALL. Many women have boyfriends who are just for show or to keep their bed warm, many women have boyfriends that are no good, those women may seem taken but they are waiting for that guy to sweep them off their feet, the guy they can really fall in love with, a guy that looks just like YOU.
How men fail: Usually you will know when this is a test because it will stop you dead in your tracks, it usually happens when things are looking their best too. The usual thing men do is once a woman throws down this test, they pretend like they were not interested at all... "what, me? wanting you... don't be silly!" or "oh, no, I really did stop you in the middle of the street just to ask you the time and Im not picking you up at all"
In the worst cases guys might even start to ask about her boyfriend, like what she likes about him or what he does or how they met, these are desperate questions and need to be avoided.
How to Pass!: Passing this test is easy and hard at the same time, the hard part is being ready for it and not flinching when it comes but what to say and the attitude to have is a simple one, the attitude is "listen, if you really love your boyfriend so much you can walk away from me any time but I'm going to be looking after my own interest and not some other guys I don't even know about". This shows that you are the type of guy that is going to go for what he wants no matter what. Women are not attracted to guys that will let another guy stop them.
What to say: Now because this test is going to come out of the blue, its good to have some instinctual "canned" things to say to a girl when things come up. Here are a few things I learned from other people and some I came up with myself to counter this test out there...
If you used a sneaky approach, by that I mean you are still indirect with her, you have not made that first solid move that shows your intent and she tries to shoot you down before you have a chance to take off. You can just call her on her great sense!
Her: I have a boyfriend, he is this guy
You: wow, that's pretty cool, how did you know I was interested in you than more than just a friend???
From here your intent is pretty clear and you have not being scared off by her comment, in fact you have bought it out in the open. Now you can either keep flirting with her or use one of the next responses...
These responses are for when you have made your intent clear, you DO want this girl and your going to go for her no matter what, and she knows!.
Her: I have a boyfriend
You: really? So when are you guys getting married? Make sure to invite me to the wedding ok?
This response lets her question if her boyfriend is serious or not, in many cases a girl will be with a guy that she does NOT see herself spending the rest of her life with and who are you to deny her the chance to meet a great guy like you that she might want to spend the rest of her life with later on?
Her: I have a boyfriend...
You: really, well they say most boyfriends are like colds... they are easy to catch, but you don't want them staying around for too long...
This is a fun little way to show you are not phased by her response, that its very likely she is not with a guy she likes very much or is with a guy at all.
The last way to pass this test is to ignore it, and by that I don't mean ignore it and try to be her friend, but ignore it and multiply your advances by 2. This is more of an assholish way but it works great if you have a good suspicion that the girl has no boyfriend and is just making it up to test you, just say "yeah, that's nice you have that, so anyway... what would you say if I were to ask you out for a drink later on?" or move on to talking about something else with her.
How to fuck it up: You can fuck it all up by passing the test with your words but then trying to be her friend with your actions. What you say is only important if you follow through. Make sure she knows you have not stopped going after her. Remember to trust your gut and you will know when it's a test and when she really wants you to back off.
4. Being rude or insulting (are you gay?)
While the majority of girls you meet are going to be nice, some women and especially the "good looking" ones, and usually in night clubs are going to test you by insults. Even a nice girl might throw out a "that shirt looks a little gay" type of thing to throw you off your game.
How men fail: Getting in any way emotional about it is a sure way to fail, it just shows you are way too invested in caring about how this girl, usually who you have just met, thinks about you. While getting angry about it calling a girl a bitch and walking away is one way to fail the test, a worse way is to get upset and crawl back into your shell.
How to pass: There are three ways to pass these tests and in fact most tests as well. The first way and the one I use at the start is humour, for example, if a girl tells me I have a gay shirt or gay hair, which is a common one, I can say "really? But my boyfriend said he was sure it wouldn't when he picked it out for me..."
If you are not confident in coming up with something on the fly, there are plenty of books on insults and comebacks you can read to get some ideas, remember to keep it light and not get emotional at all, demonstrate to the girl that it doesn't phase you and you are willing to laugh at yourself, up to a point...
The second way is to just ignore, let it be so insignificant to your emotions that it doesn't even register.
Her: You have a gay shirt
You: Thanx, so what's you favorite place to get away on holiday?
When it gets too much: Sometimes what starts of as little fun tests turns into full blown insults. Now, its one thing to not be effected emotionally by this but its another to let this kind of attitude go on. This is usually when guys get really emotional, either angry or upset and is where more than even you need to stay in control, and in a firm and matter affect voice let her know that the way she is handling herself if unacceptable, that other low quality guys may have let her get away with this attitude before so she feels like this is the norm, but for her to be a person that YOU will want to know that attitude is not going to fly anymore, and she either needs to start acting cool so you can both enjoy your time together or you are out the door.
5. Communication: Talking to other people, talking on the phone, flirting with other guys, bringing a girlfriend along to an obvious date, not talking during a date...
I grouped these all together because they all deal with communication and in a way of her ignoring you to see how you will do on your own or what you will accept or not. Remember women are always pushing boundries, they are testing you not only at the start but also what you will or will not accept in the future of the relationship too and both tests are just as important.
Examples: just make a mental note if any of these have happened to you.
a.) You go out on what you think is a date between just you and a girl, and she shows up with a friend of hers.
b.) You are running late for a movie and she keeps talking to someone she knows, telling you to wait one more second, just one more.
c.) She is flirting with other guys in front of you
d.) You show up on a date with her and you are the one doing all the talking, she is not responsive and the conversation is boring for you
e.) she is talking on her phone during a conversation with you
How to pass:
a.) This test usually happens when a guy is not upfront with his intentions with a girl, being direct at the start really blows a lot of things out of the water but here is what to do if you get stuck with this. Say you go out to watch a movie or you go out to the bar for a date you thought was just between you and her, and there she is with a "friend" ready to introduce you to him/her. Say hi to her friend but don't be friendly, right away tell her, listen can I speak to your friend for a moment on her own. Pull your girl aside and tell her, "listen, when I made plans to go out tonight I was sure that it was clear that I wanted to spend time with you alone, if there was some sort of miscommunication I'm sorry, lets reschedule to a time where we can both focus in on each other more"
This is an honest way of showing your intent for this girl, that shows you are wanting to be more than just a friend with her and that you are willing to walk away form her and wont end up as one of her guy orbiters, a "lets just be friend" with her.
b.) A test like this may start off small but may turn into a full blown war, where the girl just does not want to leave the person she is talking too knowing full well you have to go. The worst thing you can do is become that little kid in the store, crying and pulling on his mommy's sleeve, telling her he doesn't want to look at bras anymore...
Remember no emotion, at the start tell her, in a calm voice that you got to go, tell it in front of her friend who she is talking too... If it gets too much, if she still wont leave, remember that you are a grown man and can leave without her, let her know first and then walk out the door.
c.) Now while ALL women test, even the nice ones, there are certain tests like this one that demonstrate to me what kind of person is living inside the girl. Its the same with the insulting tests, I don't mind being called gay, in fact I might even take it as a compliment, but if the insults get bad, even if I end up getting the girl by calling her on it it will leave a dark stain on her and she will quickly end up in my F her and dump her catogory. So girls who are reading this take note, that you may get rid of a lot of low quality guys by testing them this way but when that guy comes along that you really want, he might not want to stay around you for long...
Now there is levels of this test too, sometimes a girl might just be flirting with a guy she knows, but in extreme cases a girl might be coming up to guys she met on the street in front of you... My friend told me of a girl he was seeing, that when they were out she would find the two meanest looking, tattooed, gangster guys she could and start chatting them up in from of my friend. Needless to say this woman had a F-load of issues that I do not need to go into, but women like that, well, there are some women you might just want to avoid.
But if it's just a friendly flirty thing she is doing to try and make you jealous here is the best thing you can do. Find the best looking girl near you, go up and start flirting with her! It's that simple, who knows that girl might end up better than the girl your with...
d.) Plenty of guys feel that in this situation they are the ones doing something wrong, but look, even if you are boring her in some way there is only one way to handle this situation. Remember the best way to pass a test is to become the type of guy that will pass them automatically. If a date is being boring for you, if it feels the conversation is one way, LET THE WOMAN KNOW, let her know, without emotion and in a matter effect voice that this is not going anywhere, that you are looking for a girl with more than just looks and someone who can connect with you on a deeper level and that is obviously not working.
Many times after you walk out on a girl she will call you back and tell you that the way she was acting was because of something that happened to her that day, or she just wasn't herself before, but the main thing is you are honest with your emotions and be ready to walk out on a girl if her personality is not up to par with yours.
e.) The only way to deal with people this rude is to put them in a choke hold until they black out, take their phone and smash it on the floor. When they come too let them know that they fainted and you were just able to catch them but their phone was not so lucky tho...
I have listed the most common tests you will come upon but it would take a life time to list them all, and women are hard at work finding more and more. So to summarize keep these things in mind:
HUMOUR: humour is one of the best ways to disintegrate tests, not only is it fun to do but shows you are not emotionally attached and at the same time know whats going on.
IGNORE: If you can't think of a funny thing to say, ignoring tests and moving on with your seduction will work just as well. Tests are rarely based in reality and if you ignore them, most will go away.
HONESTY THE BEST POLICY: When in doubt on what to do be honest with what you are going through, Lying to a girl will prolong the interaction but is not a way to pass the test with her and is a sure way to end up in the friends zone
MATTER-OF-FACT: When you are going to call a girl on her attitude do it in a matter-of-fact voice, and have the matter-of-fact attitude to go along with it too.
NO EMOTION: As soon as you get emotional about something silly a girl does to you, you might as well pack up your bags and go home. If you can't help but get too emotional its a good indication that you need to look at how you see yourself first, and why exactly what a stranger says to you is having that strong of an effect on you.
WILLING TO WALK AWAY: Be willing to let the girl go, it's simple as that. Have the attitude that there are 1000s of girls just around the corner waiting to meet a great guy like you or at very least that you will be much happier on your own than putting up with crap from this girl.
ALL WOMEN TESTS: On the other hand, keep in mind that even the nicest girls are going to test you, and it's fine to bring a girl back into your life if she has redeemed herself. Most girls are used to walking all over guys and are waiting for a guy like you to come along. Remember that to get what you want its just as important to get away from what you don't want.
PASS TESTS FOR YOU AND NOT FOR HER: While "passing" these tests will often have women crawling to be with you, pass these tests because YOU will not accept the attitudes, rather than passing them just so you can get the girl. Empower yourself by letting women know what YOU do and do not want, and stick to it.
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