Signs Of A Potential Abuser (Page 2)

[AllisonA]

I also have a problem with the words "take control'" I understand the points other people are bringing up, but a lot of it looks a little backward because of the words used.

The man should not '"take control" rather he is "leading" the household, which is his place. The man and woman should seek to share control over matters, but the man leads the family dutifully meaning he works hard, provides for his family, etc.

[AllisonA]

I commend you for writing this article. Like you said, "not every stone is shaped or coloured the same" but every point hits home, and even though they may vary from person to person, they certainly apply to all of the abusers out there.

If women are unsure, these points could certainly be used for clarification in their own relationships. Quite frankly, they are what they are, and each hold truth in the mind of an abuser.

[chettah-two]

They is no doubt that Gregs is a bitter man.. but he raises some valid points..

Most women want a dominant man, bare in mind the very core definition of dominant is, MOST not all the time..

In a relationship examples are he decides where and when to go out the MOST, initiates MOST sexual contact, listens the MOST, brings MORE money, etc..

The article is spot on, but the shf84 commets are a bit naive... in every relationship they is the dominant one, one more in love...

[gwenwyn]

This article seems apt. I dated an abusive man once, though he didn't exhibit a lot of these signs. I think another useful one to take into account, is how he treats others in general. If he hurts others, is in general a sadist, you should probably hightail it.

Also, greg, sub and dom isn't restricted to the gay community, it also applies to BDSM. I believe fewer people have problems with adults agreeing on sexual relations, compared to one partner FORCED into submission..

[Gregs]

In essence what you are doing with your advice and hate is killing off any idea of a "man" a real man, a man that, godforbid, IS dominant and knows how to take charge, that will call a woman on her bullsh*t, and at the same time can connect with her emotionally. Your killing off any male that had aimed for this middle ground and leaving behind two destinct groups, nice guys who are reserved to being tread upon and who create no sexual attraction at all, and complete and utter assholes who treat

[Gregs]

Neither is bad or good, and to deny either one is wrong. Just because someone is willing to surrender to someone else doesn't put them below the other person, it is almost a gift they are sharing. However what you and your feminists ideas are creating with your rants and hateful control of males is exactly what you are aiming to get rid off. No matter how hard you try to deny your biology women for the most part will be attracted to strong dominant men, its a natural part of humanity

[Gregs]

Your and idiot. (and a feminist which is the same thing) If a gay man said that they wanted their boyfriend to be "dominant" and to "take charge" I bet you and all your feminatzi friends will have no problem with that, but as soon as a woman, someone who is for the most part naturally inclined to be submissive, you rip into her as well as any guy that decides to show some balls around women. In the gay community they even have pep names for the two "energys" of humanity, the subs and the doms

[shf84]

I'm sure women don't want a man who's a sissy, I certainly don't want a woman who is. But I do have a huge problem with the words "take control". Having a healthy mind and a normal amount of confidence not being afraid to assert your self etc does not equate to "taking control"

As to the sexual habits of women they very no one can speak for all women I doubt very much that every woman on earth likes sexual domination.

[shf84]

If you were truly strong you would not desire to lead women, you would be comfortable with them being themselves you wouldn't feel threatened by that or have any desire to meddle in the natural course of their existence. The last thin I would ever want is a woman who wants to be lead like a child. You call that a woman of quality? Sounds spineless or maybe not to bright.

[shf84]

Submit, surrender sounds very much like a euphemism to me. Bottom line it's you calling the shots not both of you. If you consider a woman who does what you say or defers to you "quality" your opinions of women surly need to be revised. A woman of quality is my equal in every way she does not submit or "surrender" or any thing else she wouldn't think of it because she is a mature adult.

[shf84]

@ALWAYSclassy Could you elaborate on strong and dominant ? What kind of behavior would you consider strong and dominant? Also being a man is as simple as being born male it means nothing more than that having male anatomy does not make you special.

[shf84]

Seems to me I've struck a nerve in someone who very much wants to control women. I certainly don't want to lead women around like children and you can bet there are a lot more like me. I also don't buy that women are simply large children who want their man to be their father and tell them what to do. The very idea of a relationship like that makes me sick. I don't need a woman to be "submissive" to me it's not all about me it's about us

here's a link https://www.nomas.org/

[shf84]

Thanks , I appreciate it , Gregs has vigorously advocated a criminal lifestyle in his posts so I guess that pretty much shows the list of characteristics is correct. I find it disturbing also that so many women have came on here and advocated men taking control , taking charge etc very disturbing stuff to hear from young women, not good at all.

[shf84]

Wanting to hide behind men for protection is a big mistake. Many many women wouldn't think of that. The minute you start looking for another individual to fulfill a part of your natural function you have lost a part of your self, you are no longer autonomous , no longer complete.

Personally I would never get near a woman who thought she needed me to protect her or even considered it in her relationship to me. It is not a person's job to do any thing what so ever because of their sex.

[shf84]

I do not believe in gender roles at all nor do I desire in the slightest to "lead" a woman I also do not want a woman who wishes to be lead. 100% equality or nothing, I'm not her leader, protector, provider, father I'll be her lover and her friend and she will be my equal I deserve no less than that.

[shf84]

I seriously doubt that women want men who are "assholes" I can tell things the way they are with out being rude or offensive and what in the HELL is with this control garbage? Relationships are about love not control control has NOTHING to do with it what so ever. I wouldn't even waste my time if I thought a girl wanted me to take control instead of 50 50. There is no way on earth that that is right.

[shf84]

I think the important thing to remember here is YOU like those kind of men. Other women want a decent kind intelligent man who respects them. I can tell it like it is without hurting a persons feelings but that doesn't make me some kind of ass hole that makes me well adjusted. I don't want to take charge ever and I won't be with a woman who wants to take charge either, that's bull sh*t and probably the ultimate disrespect.

[Asailum]

"“take charge” one young woman even wanted to see men “show some dominance”. Very alarming views" wow, you are f***ing retarded aren't you? Women love dominant guys, not guys who attack their own gender like you, you ass kissing feminist !

[Camilus]

I agree with some of your more obvious points, but believing in traditional gender roles or giving your girlfriend a good f*** session gives you the same profile as someone who kicks his wife's ass? no way

[armyant]

Article in a nutshell: "Men who aren't like me are abusers and will hurt you. Date me instead."

Comments in a nutshell:

- Stereotypes about women by dating coach.

- Stereotypes about men and some hypocrisy and namecalling by Team Feminism.