Mixed Signals From Women

[Lopezz1999]

Does this girl like me or not??

In my life, I have met various women whose attitude toward me would change just with a snap. They would be nice, warm, and friendly with me, but then become coy or aloof with me on the next. This may get you wondering whether she likes you or not, since she only appears to do these things every once in awhile, causing you to wonder if you've done anything wrong. Below are a few examples of the typical mixed signal types that I've come across, and what to do about them.

The Hot/Cold Case

This is the type of woman who is unsure whether they truly like you or not. To determine if she is playing Hot/Cold, check out her behavior around you and see if she is changing from being really nice and flirtatious to completely ignoring you constantly. I urge men to move fast with women, as by going aggressively after what you want, you will be able to avoid these mixed signals altogether, since you would be asking her out as soon as you began to see definite signs of interest. Though be warned.. A woman that plays Hot/Cold with you may enjoy flirting with others just as well as they flirt with you, and the days when she's cold with you, she may be hot with someone else. The quicker you move with the flirtatious type, the better the chance you avoid these mixed signals altogether, and the quicker and more easily you may move on if she isn't interested.

The Big Flirt Case

I once had a girl that was just great. She was friends with everyone, flirtatious with me, and overall just a good person. The problem with these girls however, is that they behave the same with every other guy that she talks to. You may feel as though this woman genuinely likes you a lot, but please check and make sure that she isn't at the same level of flirtatiousness as everyone else. You may have been orbiting around her friend zone along with the other guys, thus leading you nowhere, even though she seems to be interested in you. To spot a big flirt, determine how she acts around everyone, and see if that changes how she acts around you. If she has plenty of male attention around her all the time, and her behavior doesn't seem to change around you compared to the other guys, take warning. Big flirts are only flirtatious because the vibes that she gets from men are positive and are likely to continue to preform that same friendly and flirtatious behavior with every man they talk to, but nevertheless, they'll lead you nowhere. My best advice: Be as different as you possibly can from those other guys to spice up an attraction, or completely move on.

Hiding Her Feelings

These girls really tend to annoy me, confuse me, and flat out piss me off, but I suppose I could understand why they do this. This is the type that does this for her own protection, in case you don't reciprocate her feelings. Good news though, these are the type that also genuinely like you, unlike the others who tend to enjoy flirting more. From personal experience and from experiences from women, if a girl were to completely ignore you over anyone else, or act coy and a little aloof towards you, take heed. She will be receptive if you were to try to move things forward, and for that reason, she will be glad that you finally moved things forward, if you were to move things forward. These are the types of girls that wonder whether or not you like them, and wait for you to do everything, making her feel wanted if you were to take initiative with her. They are very annoying for a reasonable cause.. the fear of rejection.

To deal with these signals, your best bet is to move things along with any girl you're interested as soon as possible. There acting this way based off of their perception of you, meaning that they are unsure whether you like them or not. You don't want to have to take the risk or feeling the pain of being rejected for another guy, being ignored by the girl you like, or being friend-zoned, so you must move quickly. Love quickly to assure your girl that you like her (not into her) for the better chance that she'll reciprocate those feelings into something greater.

[Máiiréad]

I hide my feelings and push them away. It is a defense mechanism.
A favorite quote of mine:
"Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high"- William Goldman (The Princess Bride)

I have trust issues. After growing up and watching my sister get used and abused by many, many, men... I fear it. I avoid it.
Yes, I know that not all men are this way, I get that. I guess I just have problems.

[Lopezz1999]

Nevertheless, it's still difficult for the legit guys to guage your interest level, still for a reasonable cause.

[TheUsername27]

Your sister clearly had a type that resulted in that happening. If you can't get yourself to date nice man at least date someone who isn't a total dick..

[Máiiréad]

@TheUsername27 i doubt she asked to get raped 3 times either all by different men at different times that she didn't even date.

[TheUsername27]

''raped'' if someone is raped that much they are doing something wrong. Whether it's leading on men or going for the dodgy types. I'd beta $ that she had consential sex while a bit drunk and claimed it as rape.

[TheUsername27]

Or hanging out in dodgy areas...

[Máiiréad]

@TheUsername27 her friend's boyfriend raped her. A man at a party raped her. Another man at a different part raped her. They saw she was drinking and they took advantage of her. Don't you ever fucking blame the victim for rape. They never ask to get raped. God forbid a woman actually wanting to drink and have fun with friends. I'm done talking to you. You're no better than them.

[Lopezz1999]

Hm, rape is actually one of the best reasons why someone would hide their feelings with mixed signals. Sorry that happened to your friend, @Máiiréad.

[Máiiréad]

Thank you @Lopezz1999 it was my sister. I had to grow up watching all that shit happen to her. My sister may have not had the best of friends in the past but she never asked for any of that to happen to her. Thanks for not being an asshole and blaming her rapes for the actions of other people.

[Lopezz1999]

No problem at all. No one ever deserves rape.

[SmartButBroke]

As one who hides my feelings, I'd say don't waste your time, lol. You say it's difficult for guys to gauge our feelings if we're the hider type, and that's the entire point. So, I would say don't waste time trying to do that.

I always tell guys this about my type:

We could either be into you or we could either hate you. These are the two options if we talk to and look at everyone but you. The key is trying to talk to us. If we don't act that receptive to conversation with you, we probably hate you, assuming it's not a situation like Maiiread's. I've had guys I hated or found annoying try to talk to me, and they'd do things like touch me or try to make jokes or even just try to make a normal conversation. If you try to touch me, there will be awkwardness or a negative facial expression from me. If you try to make jokes, I'm not laughing. If you try to have a normal conversation, I'm probably going to look around the room or not really be paying attention to you. These are the types of signs you're going to get; you're not going to get "I'm interested" signs.

Now, if we're in an environment like work where I hate you/you annoy me but we can't really avoid talking to each other, like a small work environment, I'll be nicer to you. But I'll probably never start a conversation with you unless I 100% have to, and paying attention to you will be fairly rare, as well.

I guess I'm saying that, with hiders, if you're looking for signs, look for signs they *dislike* you beyond that they don't talk to you or don't look at you... and if you don't really find any, you're doing good. If I change around you after we've chatted a time or two, that's good.

As for the idea that we genuinely like you... eh. I do what I do because I tend to be accepting of the idea that nothing will ever happen between us, so if you don't ever approach me that's fine with me. If I couldn't accept that idea, I'd probably force the courage to do more than just ignore the hell out of you... in fact, I have. Believe me, if I am forcing myself to initiate conversation with you, you'll be more confused than you are by my hiding feelings. It's not my natural state of socialization/behavior, so it will not be consistently done... it will probably seem more hot and cold because it's not authentic for me to start a conversation with someone or show interest in any way in someone. It's just that it's rare for me to ever meet someone and not be able to accept it if nothing ever happens between us.

[SuperGlitterGirl]

I usually make it pretty clear whether i am interested in a guy:

I kind of brush my hair back, or something like that. Or sometimes I just sit still and give him little signs. But sometimes I just prefer for the guy to approach me. It depends on the mood I am in. I can be kind of a flirt sometimes and if you make me laugh that's a good ice breaker. But I hate it when guys are goofy or think they are too full of themselves. It's nice for them to be confident and a bit cocky, but I do not like if they get too pushy. When I am ready for a guy to approach me I usually let them know. I just don't want guys left and right chatting me up all the time. When I'm out with my girlfriends it's girl time! But if guys are too afraid to approach two women sitting by themselves without a guy, they should not even try. Guys like that need to just work on their confidence and I usually do not bother. So just read what the situation requires and don't make a fool of yourself. Be yourself, put your best foot forward, and just be careful to observe. Just look for a while, try to make eye contact and if she does not react or turns away try to move closer. Do it slowly though. I hate it when people try to rush me into things or keep inching toward me as if they are some kind of stalker. Eww, no thanks. And do not bud in when it's girlfriend time! Those guys are creepy as hell. Can't girls go out without being bothered by guys all the time?

[RolandCuthbert]

Mr. Lopez, I think the advice is a bit off. I mean, I guess to each his own. But I always ask men. . ."what do you want"?

We accuse women of being deceptive, when we are deceptive as well. Do you want the type of woman you had to figure out and conquer? And if you did figure her out, are you sure this will lead to happiness?

Why not just go after a woman who actually wants you, rather than some puzzle you have to figure out?

There are always men who are awesome getting women. That's just their deal. Why try to emulate them?

Just be yourself and find someone who likes you.

[MrMysteryMan]

Hmm. I think there are women like this. But it would be interesting to see how women actually react to this.

[Lopezz1999]

How they'd react? You think they'd reject the myTake?

[MrMysteryMan]

Who knows. Depends on how much women understand themselves and how realistic life is.

[Lopezz1999]

I see.. thanks for your opinion!

[MrMysteryMan]

No worries.

[milkyway777]

You're reading us.
I hope every guy will be like you :D

I hid my feelings well, and it looks like I was playing with this guy with my hot and cold actions. During my cold actions, I was just trying to analyze how big he cared about me; to see if he was worth of my mind and heart.

Most girls have trust issue. We believe in our love feeling, but not in the guys'.

My question is what should girls do in subtle way to make guys aware that he needs to take action first?

[scorpioDude]

ain't nobody got time you real all lmao

[Anonymous]

If someone consistently acts hot and cold and plays mind games then I'm out. I don't have patience for that shit.

Sure, relationships take time to develop but my life is busy enough to take time and constantly wonder if someone is into me or not.

[Lopezz1999]

lol true. Right you are bro

[abundantlyrich]

It sounds like you are dealing with the girls with princess mentalities

[Lopezz1999]

Don't women want to be treated like princesses? To be led?

[abundantlyrich]

I'm talking about their brattish behaviour, elbowing you

[abundantlyrich]

they tend to be spoilt

[Lopezz1999]

Oh well yeah I've had a bit of experience with girls like that. I used to talk to them, but all they do now is annoy me.

[scooogy]

The mixed signals are the ones I don't pay attention to anymore.

[Anonymous]

Good take 👍
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2381628-what-size-are-you