It's a Friday night and everyone is going out. Julie is riding with Tim, Carrie is riding with Brandon, Mary is riding with Mike, and you're either:
a) catching the bus or taxi,
b) hitching a riding with one of the aforementioned couples, or
c) sulking on the couch because you don't have a girl/guy.
I'm sure we've all had friends like this or may even be this friend. I know that I was and still is the third wheel on couple outings. Recently, I noticed that when my friends were with their guy/gal, they tried to ultimately avoid me. I mentally noted this and after examining my own behavior I noticed some key things that were driving them away.
1.) Don't continually express how "happy" you are being single.
Truly, if you were so happy about it, there would be absolutely no need to broadcast it to the world. After a while, your friends will see this as the plea, "Please find me a boyfriend! I am SO lonely!" No one likes your whiny side and they didn't invite you along to drain their spirits.
2.) Stop butting in when you're not wanted.
Ever had that one girl who hates when someone expresses their feelings and she's like "Yeah right!" ? Yeah, it get's annoying right after the first time you do it. Stop it. Also, if your friends are fighting, let them handle their problems. If they ask you for your opinion, then and only then, do you give it. No one likes to be "told so" or "he's just like the other guys" all the time, especially when no one asked for YOUR opinion.
There is nothing I hate more! I believe in confidentiality. Of course you feel like you're left out when you're the only one with no man. You feel that you need something to hold your friends to you. Gossip is not the way to do it. Ultimately, this only tells your friends to beware of how much they tell you because it could be the talk of the town in the next few hours.
Try to put yourself in their shoes. If you and your boyfriend are having a spat, would you like for everyone to know? Or any little detail that may not seem important to you is very important to others. Besides, these people are your friends, and if you want to keep them and maybe attract a guy for yourself, find a way to keep confidential information just that.
4.) Last but not least, is the granddaddy of all granddaddies: PLEASE, DO NOT BUG YOUR FRIENDS TO ASK THEIR BOYFRIENDS IF THEY HAVE ANY SINGLE brothers, cousins, friends, etc.!
This was a tie for number one on my pet peeves. When I was in a relationship one of my ex-friends hounded me day in and day out to see if my boyfriend had any single male relatives. At the time I was trying to be a supportive friend but she took it over bored when she began to show up on our dates. Not only is this overboard, this is CREEPY! Just don't do it. It's okay to ask once, but to continually do it...BIG (NO, NO)!
1.) Don't be such a jerk.
True you and your buddy used to hang out a little more before he hooked up with Jessica but, that doesn't mean you always to be rude and disrespectful towards her. If you're always the one at the table making fun of all the girls, then guess what buddy, you're now the least liked person there. Plus any girl who had interest in you would cross you off the list quick, fast, and in a hurry. Lol. If you're downing your friends girl, then who's to say you wouldn't do the same to yours?
2.) Don't become the lurker.
You know, that guy who always seems to come out of nowhere. The guy who, is seen in time, is always avoided. Trust me this is a major turn off. People talk, and if you're the guy who is creepy and people try to avoid you, then no girl is going to want to be around you as a girlfriend. She'll think he will start to stalk me if we're in a relationship.
Of course flatulence is a way of life, but don't be the guy who just toots it up in a restaurant and let 'er rip. Dude, your friends may laugh, but when their girls start complaining when you're not around, they are more like to cater to her needs than yours. Of course, they'll still be friends with you, but they wont like to hang out with you around their girls as much.
4.) Don't overdo the compliments to your buddy's girlfriend.
At first, he will appreciate it, but she'll feel weird (that is if she isn't one of those conceited types that must be showered with praise all the time). Plus, after a while, it becomes obvious that you're checking out your friend's girl and if another girl is around who may be slightly interested in you, she'll definitely pickup on this. Wave bye-bye to your chances with her.
Ultimately, you'll stay single and you may lose your friends in the process. If you're the third wheel, think it through before you begin your "Singleness Tirades".
Be on the look out for Single People Dos!
a) catching the bus or taxi,
b) hitching a riding with one of the aforementioned couples, or
c) sulking on the couch because you don't have a girl/guy.
I'm sure we've all had friends like this or may even be this friend. I know that I was and still is the third wheel on couple outings. Recently, I noticed that when my friends were with their guy/gal, they tried to ultimately avoid me. I mentally noted this and after examining my own behavior I noticed some key things that were driving them away.
Girls:
1.) Don't continually express how "happy" you are being single.
Truly, if you were so happy about it, there would be absolutely no need to broadcast it to the world. After a while, your friends will see this as the plea, "Please find me a boyfriend! I am SO lonely!" No one likes your whiny side and they didn't invite you along to drain their spirits.
2.) Stop butting in when you're not wanted.
Ever had that one girl who hates when someone expresses their feelings and she's like "Yeah right!" ? Yeah, it get's annoying right after the first time you do it. Stop it. Also, if your friends are fighting, let them handle their problems. If they ask you for your opinion, then and only then, do you give it. No one likes to be "told so" or "he's just like the other guys" all the time, especially when no one asked for YOUR opinion.
Girls, if you are single, DON'T:
3.) Don't gossip!- SHOUT about your happiness being single
- Give unsolicited opinions
- Incessantly gossip
- Ask to be set up
There is nothing I hate more! I believe in confidentiality. Of course you feel like you're left out when you're the only one with no man. You feel that you need something to hold your friends to you. Gossip is not the way to do it. Ultimately, this only tells your friends to beware of how much they tell you because it could be the talk of the town in the next few hours.
Try to put yourself in their shoes. If you and your boyfriend are having a spat, would you like for everyone to know? Or any little detail that may not seem important to you is very important to others. Besides, these people are your friends, and if you want to keep them and maybe attract a guy for yourself, find a way to keep confidential information just that.
4.) Last but not least, is the granddaddy of all granddaddies: PLEASE, DO NOT BUG YOUR FRIENDS TO ASK THEIR BOYFRIENDS IF THEY HAVE ANY SINGLE brothers, cousins, friends, etc.!
This was a tie for number one on my pet peeves. When I was in a relationship one of my ex-friends hounded me day in and day out to see if my boyfriend had any single male relatives. At the time I was trying to be a supportive friend but she took it over bored when she began to show up on our dates. Not only is this overboard, this is CREEPY! Just don't do it. It's okay to ask once, but to continually do it...BIG (NO, NO)!
Guys:
1.) Don't be such a jerk.
True you and your buddy used to hang out a little more before he hooked up with Jessica but, that doesn't mean you always to be rude and disrespectful towards her. If you're always the one at the table making fun of all the girls, then guess what buddy, you're now the least liked person there. Plus any girl who had interest in you would cross you off the list quick, fast, and in a hurry. Lol. If you're downing your friends girl, then who's to say you wouldn't do the same to yours?
2.) Don't become the lurker.
You know, that guy who always seems to come out of nowhere. The guy who, is seen in time, is always avoided. Trust me this is a major turn off. People talk, and if you're the guy who is creepy and people try to avoid you, then no girl is going to want to be around you as a girlfriend. She'll think he will start to stalk me if we're in a relationship.
Guys, if you are single, DON'T
3.) Don't be gross.- Make fun of other people to get laughs
- Be the creepy guy constantly hanging around
- Be disgusting
- Hit on your friend's girl
Of course flatulence is a way of life, but don't be the guy who just toots it up in a restaurant and let 'er rip. Dude, your friends may laugh, but when their girls start complaining when you're not around, they are more like to cater to her needs than yours. Of course, they'll still be friends with you, but they wont like to hang out with you around their girls as much.
4.) Don't overdo the compliments to your buddy's girlfriend.
At first, he will appreciate it, but she'll feel weird (that is if she isn't one of those conceited types that must be showered with praise all the time). Plus, after a while, it becomes obvious that you're checking out your friend's girl and if another girl is around who may be slightly interested in you, she'll definitely pickup on this. Wave bye-bye to your chances with her.
Ultimately, you'll stay single and you may lose your friends in the process. If you're the third wheel, think it through before you begin your "Singleness Tirades".
Be on the look out for Single People Dos!
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