Why Are Girls Randomly Hot and Cold? Here's Why...

[crswalkerr]

Ever wondered why she sometimes ignores texts for hours, or even until the next day, but then continues texting normal like nothing happened? Or why she just gives you one words answers in person or maybe when you see her she randomly and unexpectedly ignores you - but then suddenly without warning she’s A-OK with you again? Why does this happen? What is happening?! Did Carly Rae Jepsen ever get that phone call?! Well, let’s see...

Okay, let’s jump right in. Females generally base their actions and decisions on how they feel at that moment in time, whereas men base theirs off practicality and rational, usually impacted by how it will affect them in future. But this doesn’t mean females are never rational or practical, quite the contrary, many actually are. However, the ones who aren’t emotionally mature enough are not. So, can you guess what category the female you’re thinking about falls into? That’s right – the latter – gold star.

So, because females base their actions and decisions of emotion more than men(most of the time), it takes them less time to get from calm to annoyed. Doesn’t matter why she’s annoyed; she could be annoyed at you, at the thought of you, at someone else, something someone else has said – sometimes a female can just sit there, think about something and over analyse it so much that she eventually thinks too much about it and accidentally annoys herself! I know right. How the hell have we survived as a species this long?

Okay, so here’s where the hot and cold comes into play: when she gets annoyed for whatever reason, she likely doesn’t feel like talking, and whereas a guy will think “I don’t feel like talking but I will because I do actually like this girl and don’t want to scare her off” or “I don’t feel like talking but I will because she’s a good friend and I don’t want to upset her” females will instead usually think “I don’t feel like talking so I won’t”. And that is where the cold comes in. Let me break it down...

The reason for this is... she’s an alien! *ALIENS* Okay, that’s probably not true - probably - but what is true is that it mostly stems from immaturity – and likely a level of immaturity you don’t associate with her or didn’t think she had. See, although almost all females generally base their actions and decisions on how they feel at that moment in time, that does not mean they’re overemotional, just usually more emotional than you. Call it nature or nurture or whatever, it doesn’t matter. But given that there are so many females out there who are mature they seldom give anyone cold treatment as abruptly as this as they have good control over their emotions, are well composed and quite consistent.

But, no matter how immature a person is, they’re never going to admit or even think for a second that they are, or might be, immature. People don’t because maturity is like intelligence: everyone thinks they’re smarter than the average person – but honestly, somebody has to be average and below average too, right? Same with maturity, you see, maturity is not a blanket fit, meaning you can be mature in some aspects of life and not others – the issue you have here is she’s emotionally immature – this can be a dangerous thing to invest time in. And it's extremely easy to miss. Maturity is not being serious all of the time – that’s just called being boring – maturity is a well developed level of self-control. Mature is not making the person who beat you at ping pong eat the ball. Nope. Not this time. Not again.(Sorry, Linda)

So, what are you options here? How do you deal with somebody who is emotionally immature giving you cold treatment? *cracks knuckles* Well, you have three options...

Option A (and the option I recommend) Ignore it, when she speaks to you again carry on as though nothing happened. While being ‘cold shouldered’ brush it off and carry on with life. Listen, most females know they can sometimes be a lot to handle, so when they act in crazy ways or do full-on nonsense like this and you just wipe it off and keep your composure, you show you that you can handle her particular brand of crazy. You reveal an inner self-confidence and surety in yourself that can sometimes be a major turn on. So, yay. *victory dance*

Option B (and the option I don’t recommend) you can confront her about it. Although I don’t recommend it, I get that some people get annoyed by this frosty response and feel the need to teach them a lesson or get it off their chests and that’s fine. It’s your right. Just don’t expect it to end well. It’ll probably just cause an argument, nothing will get accomplished because she certainly won’t change, and it could even result in you two breaking up or your friendship breaking down. But hey, you don’t take crap from anybody! You are a strong independent man who don’t need no woman!

Options C (essentially a quicker version of B) you can walk away. Cut your losses and find somebody a little bit more emotionally mature. At the end of the day, you should never settle, it’s not fair on you and it’s not fair on them. If you think somebody is not on your level, leave them, or give them time. Whatever works for you. Maybe they’ll mature up, maybe not. (Option A’s sounding so much better about now, right?) But this option is so important, because sometimes it really isn’t worth it. And you should never be with somebody who makes you feel miserable or worthless. Unless you’re into that kind of thing – hey – not judging.*thumbs up*

But, you also have to remember what I said about maturity and how everybody thinks they’re more mature than they usually are: chances are you’re immature in certain ways too. Men can be emotional in decision making. They can act cold. They can basically do everything I’ve descried here and they can mess with people’s heads. So, sometimes she’s not the problem, is there something you’re doing or saying that keeps annoying her? Get it together, man. Check yo’self foo’. And finally, sometimes she’s just not interested in conversation with you at all, but if this is the case she usually won’t be hot AND cold, just cold.

So, I hope this has helped clear some things up.

Oh, and to answer the earlier question: she probably did get a call back, she’s frickin’ Carly Rae Jepsen! Recognise.

-C

[smølf]

Always option B, girls have to behave as well be a turn on and not a turn off, this is no difference.

You said "You reveal an inner self-confidence and surety in yourself that can sometimes be a major turn on. So, yay. *victory dance*"

My experience tells me, girls are in two basic categorises, the dominant bitchy kind and the kind more submissive gentle kind.

The bitchy kind is to be avoided hands down, life is to short for bitching females. The other kind will see your inner self-confidence and surety in yourself that can a major turn on, because you stood up to her and don't take to crap, but in a kind and protective fashion.

Ask yourself, do you want to be a man or doormat?

[crswalkerr]

That's true, however, maturity plays a major part in how an individual responds or acts. Now, not everybody is capable of being 100% mature 100% of the time. In actual fact, not many people are. So, sometimes it's not about being bitchy or non-bitchy, it's about them as individuals and how they handle how they feel (which is the main issue). Because a bitchy female will often only be cold (and yes, always cold should be avoided).

But this Take was primarily focused on females as a whole. The majority of females tend to act how I described in the second paragraph. Which leads to the hot and cold. It's a common thing, but it doesn't always necessarily mean they're bitchy, but rather approach things differently than a guy would.

[smølf]

Women are often controlled by emotions if that is what you mean, but this doesn't mean you have to take all the crap their emotional impulses imposes.

As a man, you should to able to put your woman in her place, and not acts like a lapdog talking any crap she feels like, as she feels like and when she lees like.

[crswalkerr]

Immature women (and men) 'can be' controlled by emotions, yes. However, I'd never claim all women are controlled by emotions no more than I'd argue all men are. If you feel the way you do, if this situation occurs, I'd recommend you exercise Option B. But again, there are consequences.(they usually involve ice cream and several felines)

To say you need to 'put your woman in her place, and not act like a lapdog' is not as simple as that. Although I agree you should never jump through hoops for anybody, effort is extremely important in building a relationship. You need to identify that line.

Nobody is perfect, but that's not a bad thing. If you find somebody who is hot and cold and you don't give them a chance, or you don't know how to handle the situation then you may have blown an opportunity with an amazing girl.(or guy, again, not judging, you do you) But just cutting anyone out who isn't easy or shouting them down is not a solution - it's a problem.

[smølf]

Put your woman in her place is about leadership, but done with love and care and her interest in mind, this is the key.

If your woman is spinning out of control, help to regain control, don't just let her spin and follow her.

You don't let a child behave as the child pleases all the time, nor should to let your woman do so. When women are unreasonable, they should be put in their place.

So it's all about unreasonable behaviour, the reasons dosen't matter, we all have to respect others, this includes a woman respecting her man.

[MrNameless]

I really don't think its so black and white like that.

I know a lot of bitchy girls that aren't dominant, but just have a bad attitude sometimes

[smølf]

@MrNameless

It's not about being dominant, it's about unreasonable behaviour. A real man know when to put his woman in her place and when to be supportive.

Show emotional support and take care of her, but don't put up to just any crap she feels like. Be a man and say stop when she is unreasonable.

[MrNameless]

Oh I agree about calling people out on their behaviors. I'm just saying I disagree with you categorizing women into two basic categories. Women are a lot more complex then that.

[smølf]

@MrNameless

Yes I agree two basic categories are not showing the complex, this is why I called it "basic".

Reality is often too complicated to talking about without getting specific or being to broad or basic.

Woman can also be divided 10 categories or 100, and still be to broadly categorised, this is sole intended to the sake of argument and debate, not to neglect the real complexity if reality.

Truth be told, every women is different and therefore unique.

[Winston369]

This was very informal and I am glad I read women are complex if you love her work it out try to remember your not as touchy about things and just give your girl her space it will pass then you take that ass

[Mystery_Eye3]

All I can say it's because of the hormones. When Hormones are irregular, they become irrational and overreact to everything.

[VoidSkipper]

Probably doesn't help contraception can seriously imbalance a woman's hormones, not stopping at stuff like being more emotional or getting irate more often. I have friends that had to stop the hormone-spiral for instance just cause it absolutely killed their sex-drive ontop of making them way more irate.
So let's say it might not even be Her fault. Otherwise I agree with OP.

[Excabyte]

Actually women prefer other option. One way or another. All bitchy and gentle lady-like kind.

Listen to all her bitching.
Do not ignore by playing at your gadgets, magazines, games, hobbies, or anything. Do not attempt to stop her for example which men do: giving immediate or tactical solutions. Just listen as if your presence there and as if your life depend on it. If you want to "steer" her emotions, do it wisely. My advice: just let it flow.
Ladies, most men will go BSOD whenever they see his partner eyes while bitching. Sir, the trick is: sit with her in one couch or direction not face to face, wrap around your hand to her shoulder, let your chest as support rest for her, all the while listen to all her bitching.
If you listen, you'll see like a pattern which sign that she only need someone who listen or a change. Do it again and again and you may see a change that "Storm" will happen less random.

I called it "emotional housecleaning".

If you have different experience, let me know.

[Hungry_Shark]

I can tell you something very surely, it's a golden rule told to me by my dating guru,
He said -
"Whenever a woman shows mixed signals, its usually because there is some other guy in the background, it might be her ex trying to come back into the picture or she is dating multiple guys"

[Jmcmanning]

This is not all true for all females. Our actions are based more than our feelings at the time - at lesat for me and others like myself.

[crswalkerr]

I agree completely. I do say that though. However, it does apply to the vast majority of females for a very specific reason: females are taught to embrace their feelings whereas males are taught to hide them. As a result you can sometimes have two entirely different thought patterns.

[Jmcmanning]

Oh I agree. My boyfriend and I just had an experience this past Saturday night since he was checking out two females and flirting with the bartender right in front of me. I didn't get cold, instead I had fun with it. He didn't like I was smiling and being all nice while I put him under the spotlight with the bartender right there as part of the conversation. Everyone has a different way of handling situations. Being moody doesn't help and normally hurts the situation more.

[DeadEnd_32]

You aren't special old lady. Society can't change millions of years of evolutionary programming. You females are controlled by your emotions. Now considering how old you are I take it you lost sexual physical value. So now you are looking for a useful beta male to enslave and manipulate.

[crswalkerr]

He flirted with someone while he was with/dating you? I think most people would have went to cold in that situation but you handled it well.

I'm not even commenting on the 'programming' nonsense.

[Jmcmanning]

@DeadEnd_32 I have to say your comment amused me and made me laugh. Not all females are controlled by their emotions. Just because a vast majority are, doesn't mean all are. I am not looking for any male, a male doesn't complete me for one thing. Besides I have man I've been in a relationship with for 2 years and I would be perfectly content being single. I don't do the manipulation thing, that's a waste of time, I'd rather live my life and be happy (with or without someone). Drama is for those who don't have anything else better to do.

[finnposts]

Nah fam. A lot of time it's based off of what's going on in her life at the time. Also it could be mental health issues- bipolar, depression, anxiety, etc... a lot of that stuff goes undiagnosed. Women are more prone to insecurities, and maybe at the time she either is feeling like shit or she finally feels self confident and she wants to cherish that time.

[Bubble_in_a_Box]

Maybe starting an entirely different conversation altogether but is this how it comes off most of the time to guys? There's a mixture here of let her bitch or downright stand up to her and don't let her be a bitch, but is that what you see it as? If a woman's 'going cold' and not replying/keeping her answers short is it because she's being bitchy with you or disrespects you? (Generically, not just you specifically, I don't want to attack anyone here, just curious!)

[Anonymous]

Hey Man, I would like to know your input on this question below:

Girls, What would make a girl uncomfortable to approach a guy? ↗

[crswalkerr]

Guys can't answer. The main reason a girl might not approach a guy is confidence. Sometimes this isn’t even because they’re shy, but just not confident enough to ‘break the social barrier’ and come over. A huge similarity between girls and guys is they over think things and situations like this can be thought about so much that they become obstacles for the person. Approaching is all about getting them to speak to you.

As silly as this sounds, if you want her approach you, you have to approach her. I don’t mean walk over and be like ‘Hey, girl. I have chocolate and pizza. We doin’ this or not?’ But, you have to do something that allows her to engage in conversation with you.

If you see her frequently, use eye contact and smile. This will eventually break the awkwardness - then one time you’ll be together somewhere and she’ll feel like she ‘knows you’ and will likely approach/talk.

If you don’t see her frequently, you need to do something in her vicinity that catches her attention.

[crswalkerr]

Cont...

Or even add something unique to your dress code. One single item that stands out. Something that she can comment on - it stands a conversation that's entirely 'spontaneous' to her and can usually give you the edge.

[Opinion Owner]

Aah, thank you for your input mate, yeah I wasn't too sure what was going on with this bartender I was interested in.

[KnightCross]

i still disagree with you.

a girl who behaves like that are no more than a spoiled brat. but instead gives excuses about hormones and shit to justify their disrespect with you. i know quite a lot of girls who aren't bitch like that

[tomstomins]

This is just what I was looking for, thanks. Although she never initiates the conversation through text and I'm worried that she might forget about me (she's busy and has a huge social circle).

[crswalkerr]

Glad you liked it. As for her not speaking, obviously every situation is different and sometimes you need to just walk away, but you could try not speaking to her - for a day or so - see if she texts you. If she doesn't it may be time to hang it up.(I hate when people say that)

This ignoring for a day or so can work for two reasons. One, she can get curious as to why you haven't text her. What could you be doing that's kept you away from her? It can sometimes make her think about you (but again, not always). And the second reason is because girls want to feel like you're a prize. If you're too full on with them/there for them all the time or whatever, there's no competition/playfulness to attract. That's why girls always go for what most describe as 'bad boys' because a bad boy will make her work for their attention - he'll tease her.

However, this is hard to fake as the secret to it is always being prepared to walk away. It gives you the power. This also works for females. Goodluck.

[themon09]

keep yourself detached and don't sweat it. instead of taking one of the options play all of em. if she comes back you decide what you want to subject yourself to

[Anonymous]

Just leaving a comment so I could come back to this post. Well written my man.

[crswalkerr]

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

[scooogy]

There should be further investigation on that topic

[The_Upside]

Good read