What men want in a relationship

There are a great number of articles out there about how women wished to be treated by men, but not so many articles about how men wish to be treated by women...

This is a general view and not a specific view so if you feel offended by elements in this article, that is not my intention. Please read it for its purpose and not as a personal slight towards women.

There is a great difference between what each sex thinks the opposite sex wants from them, and what the opposite sex really does want. What women think men want from them causes women to have resentment and anger toward men, and feel hopeless about ever developing a wonderful, warm, romantic partnership. What men think women want from them causes them much of the same feelings and frustration.

The thing is that we would realize that both men and women are human beings first and pretty much want the same thing.

1. Men want honest, timely, loving communication
Gogus olculeri

Honest communication is top priority for men. They want a woman who answers questions honestly, and perhaps even volunteers information. They want a woman who confidently asks for her wants and needs to be met. They want a woman who can see the truth and tell it like it is while communicating with kindness. Men want a woman who can communicate without being too critical, who cares about preserving his and her dignity.
It can be extremely frustrating for men if left to decode what a woman is communicating.

Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. Women think men believe them to be too needy and too sensitive, and that men simply want women to get over it. Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking up.

A tip for women: Men want and need straightforward, courageous communication without anger or criticism. One way to attract a man and build a satisfying relationship is to learn how to communicate your truth and needs effectively.

2. Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.

Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.

On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner. Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women: Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.

3. Men want a manipulation-free relationship.

Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.
"Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals."
Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

A tip for women: Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

4. Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.

Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women: Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

5. Men want fidelity and a commitment to the relationship.

Fidelity is an absolute must. In fact, men want a woman who does not have a “roaming eye” and who can wholeheartedly commit to the relationship. Many may define commitment as fidelity plus the willingness to work on the relationship — even when the going gets tough.

Women think that all men want is sex, and that men will leave a relationship for the next prettier face. Women think men cannot be trusted to be faithful. Women believe men do not want to work on a relationship; that when the going gets tough, they run.

A tip for women: Here is great news for those women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.
"Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you."

6. Men want women who know how men need to be treated.

Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.

Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

A tip for women: Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.
What men want in a relationship
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • toulouse
    All of that is easily applied to Women and Men., Who doesn't want : honesty , courage, respect, fidelity, trust, dignity. (and) I'm sure there would be more of that, if Men did not assume omen want love over respect.

    All of the behavior, you said men will not tolerate from Women.. Often comes from men. If you give that behavior, you will receive it.

    I think this article would be much more appropriate if it was written as what makes a god relationship. You set it up as presumptuous&bigoted.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Freddiek70
    thank you for the positive feed ack about my article..i knew there would be negative comments..That is to be expected..Not everyone will agree with you in any walk of life

    But it's gratifing to see the comments that you have written, especially from women who have complimented me on it

    Thank you again..much appreciated xxx
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • FierceMegan2
    Good article. I think both genders can benefit from this. I just have a concern about the "manipulation" topic. There is a fine line between "manipulation" & being a bad communicator. So people who read this should keep in mind that if they're just a bad communicator they could work on it.
  • toulouse
    Women think men want them to be superficial, to keep quiet about their needs or wants, and never to ask for anything. ...Some women believe they do not have the permission to tell it like it is, that they will be rejected for speaking u

    I would be with this kind of guy but this is exactly what a lot of men say they want. that's where it comes from. there is no point in telling women to assume men think differently than MANY men say men think. better to admit those guys exist and reject them.
  • oldguysrule
    you discribed the 3 C's/M, critism, control, condenming, and mulipuation Once you indentfy those negatives you can move on with the relationship. Been married 27 years, my wife mentioned to me a few years dack she wiches I could read her mind, I said, we probaly wouldn't have gotten married then she agreed. The article was very informative and interesting, even pointed out some areas that my wife could work on, she is always showing me articles about how men reactions. to bad out of words
  • toulouse
    ... I still don't see how this is specific to men. this is very well written, good relationship behavioral advice for all sexes.

    of course the quickest way to get treated the way you wish to be treated , is to treat your partner with the same courtesy you expect from them.

    .. sixstring how is it you think my responses, are negating the fact that all sex' are responsible for their actions in the relationship. ALL I ever talk about is respect going both ways. that's a point-not a 'complaint'.
  • nbbrown6
    really great article. I enjoyed every part of it and it totally makes sense. Plus the tips are great! It is nice to read an article that is straight forward and objective.
  • RandomGuy007
    When I saw the title, I rolled my eyes and figured this would be another cliche, subjective rant masquerading as an "article"

    Now that I've read it though, how wrong my first impression was! 5 Stars!
  • sixstring
    Toulouse don't you have anything better to do than just whine and bitch on this site? There's almost never any positive things in your answers/comments.

    Women are equally to blame for arguments.
  • Freddiek70
    Thank you Darkfairie17... ...this is absolutely not a critism or attack against women in any way,I just felt that men get told a lot about how to approach women and not visa versa :)
  • 4thRight
    Wowee Zowee Now if my 2bx would read this it might be a beginning on her understanding things friends, counselors, a therapist she dumped and I have been trying to gently help her understand for over thirty-four years. Her new found boy friend is not likely to experience any better success in his relationship with her. I should use this as a preliminary posting to any profile I might write.
  • paradise273
    wonderful information, I had come to know about your blog from my friend nandu , hyderabad,i have read at least 7 posts of yours by now, and let me tell you, your website gives the best and the most interesting information. This is just the kind of information that I had been looking for, I'm already your rss reader now and I would regularly watch out for the new posts, once again hats off to you! Thanks a ton once again, Regards, love quotes
  • Yeahhbro
    bs toulose its not always the men that are in fault, women do a lot of stupid sh*t to get their way, don't play the innocent game, I know very well how women play sometimes.
  • MrShyGuy
    very good article man, my ex needs to read this haha
  • speakinglanguages
    Quite true may I say, the article is very helpful too thank you.
  • anony84
    Great article and very eloquent as well. Thank you for sharing!
  • lmea78
    Good article, yes...but ALL MEN think different! we're all different!
  • why-makoto-kun
    I think the same could be said for women too. Excellent!
  • 4everamistdagalaxy82
    Ok if guys want all of this.. Women want the same.. But life just dosent work like that i guess.. It would b considered too perfect
  • Rae_lea
    Awesome articI think Men and Women are equally expected to keep the juice work going. To be independant on their own but also together.
  • Spf716
    I really liked this article. Thoughtful and helpful.
  • Pearlzz
    Really good! Thanks :)
  • knowmeyourself
    Excellent article. Thank you for sharing. :)
  • Darkfairie17
    Very good article :)
  • AmberChick
    I really enjoyed this article! Thank you!
  • Yeahhbro
    ps nice article lol
  • RikkiTikkiTavi
    Where's the research to back up these claims?
  • bntmwannabe
    Excellent article..I enjoyed reading it
  • Taremy
    Good article! Female friends more should see!
  • swagglife
    you couldn't have said it better bro

  • dilneet
    men want women for entertainment...
  • jennoliver
    thanks for this! I appreciate it...
  • Anonymous
    If I can add from experience...men also want to be sexually desired and not just appeased with sex. Don't leave it up to him to always initiate...take the reins with enthusiasm!

    Respect them completely for the role they play in the relationship, appreciate their differences, and don't expect them to react to things the way we do.

    And finally...never underestimate the power of bringing him a sandwich while he's watching tv...sounds trivial, but give it a try! :-)