I'm talking about real OCD, not that "I hate clutter! lol must be my OCD again!" yeah no. I don't like when people who like things "straight" immediately think they have OCD. Here's what it's really like.
* 1. The REPETITIVE ticks
These are things I do over and over until it "feels right", I can go on doing these things for hours or minutes.
(1.) Clacking my teeth
Like if you were eating something, but no food. Just biting down over and over again, so hard that my teeth are sore and I get headaches all the time. Pretty soon I'm gonna chip a tooth, I have to see a dentist for a mouth guard.
(2.) Sniffing my hands
I try and wash my hands on a regular so I'm sniffing clean things lmao. But I just casually rub my nose like have an itch but I'm really sniffing my hand. I don't want to smell them, I just have to do it.
Over and over and over and over.
Triggers for my repetitive ticks : Music
* 2. The SYMMETRY AND ORDERING ticks
This is why some people think they have OCD, but they usually just "like" for things to be straight. They don't feel it deep in their bones an unsettling fear of it not being "perfect".
I've spent over 30 minutes erasing several words and rewriting them until they are "just right" on my school papers, causing me to be late or work longer than needed. I go way out of my way to make things right and wasted a lot of time for numerous different things that go in this category. When I see something that isn't just right it sends shivers down my spine and twitches to my neck.
* 3. The OBSESSIVE thoughts
I can be talking about real, serious things, listening about important matters whatever they may be, and I can't stop thinking about lewd, vulgar things. It's always sex, and not just sex but violent sex.
I remember being at my papa's funeral and of course I was overcome with sadness and grief, but I couldn't stop imaging sexual things (not about my papa, don't worry). I don't want that.