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look at society. constantly tellin you you're not enough. its not just people. the cultural engineers work for corporations. dumb scared people are easy to control for money
I really needed to hear something like that, so I'm happy I came across your question. It makes me feel a lot better knowing I'm not alone, so thank you for that. :)
i'm glad i could help in anyway. I know how you feel trust me. It's probably the worst feeling in the world, but a lot of us are feeling it. You're not alone, dear.
They destroyed mine. Dumped college. No job currently. No girlfriend ever, haven't even kissed. Not even friends now. I had issues with my walking, my skinny physique, my social awkwardness, my attrocious inability with sports, always bullied through school even in the last year, never enjoyed the love of a woman (the known vicious circle of being unwanted by women, losing more and more confidence, and becoming more unwanted by your low confidence). Now I am nothing and I have nothing.
That's a new level, i'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's not over though, you can pick it all back, but start here. See a professional, go to the gym, talk to some old friends. Pick everything back up while yu still can.
It is "next level" huh? Haha. Who gives a damn. I don't for once. call someone? I have no one to call anyway. me? money for a therapist? (do you even know how expensive these sessions are? plus i call them complete bs). Don't worry I will just pass through this life invisible and incorporeal, but I'm not alone there are more of "us", we are these cursed spirits, the moonstruck, that wander through history without a cause on the surface of the earth. What exactly is not over? What did even ever begin? What is that I "still" (whatever that means) can? reconnect to the matrix of hypocrisy, superficiality, plastic happiness, and misery you call society? thanks, i'll pass on that hideous offer. it's not i've quit on myself, it's not you have even quit on me (when were you here anyway), it is that I... have quit on YOU... ALL OF YOU that is. ALL OF... "THAT".
If you want you cn talk to me if you don't have anyone to call. i'm ready to listen. And i agree society is f*cked up. this whole world is. but there is this string of hope called friendship. it sounds stupid but i promise its more productive than you'd think. It can save your life like it did mine. i DID see a therapist and it didn't help me not one bit. and just talking to my best friend saved me from doing the unthinkable. We all have a purpose in this life. i found mine late, and you will yours too. you just have to look for it. you can pick everything up and all those feelings will just vanish.
Hello, you said something about talking. Yes, it is true that i have no one from highschool or school in general. not even from college. I also used to move a lot due to my fathers work so. No past frients. No one to call back. So, how would we do that? With emails? through some social media? Will you sent me a message where you will arrange the date and time of the conversation? I'm not available 24/7 unfortunately cause I have to help my father in the village sometimes and you'll certainly have ur program too. so when we find a nice time and day, free for both of us, how could we talk?
Through email or you can just message me on gag.
Even if our timelines don't match up, you can let everythign out in a message and i can reply when i can.
it doesn't have to be immediate, the point is that you will have someone to talk to, and ill listen to you and help you as if i'd known you my whole life, i promise.
Your language and literature are both way better than many educated people with jobs, thus I don't think you're left with "nothing". With that level of intellect and books knowledge, all you need is people like you, or someone to listen; a fitting social environment.
You mentioned something about working in the field with your father? Nothing wrong with that, but you can't say you've got no friends and no loveable ones if you aren't getting "out there". You need one of them city picnics at least once in a month – gather friends in real life and talk to them online or something.
I apologise if I'm mistaken or if my comment does not apply to your case! Best wishes though, and please think about mingling properly! You've got the time.
thanks lady you are a kind person. and sir phoenician liberty thank you for your kind words. it's true i had this "problem" before. i might have been terrible at sports but by 15 i had read everything of dostoyevsky, nietche, goethe, kafka, freyd, andersen, jules verne and others. if is spoke the way i liked and could i was considered a "dumbass" and a "freak". so i had to tremendously dumb down my verbal fluency and thinking to be "socially accepted" and even then i failed in the longterm. i did the mistake to write an essay the way i could once in school, the teacher read it out loud forall the kids to listen, and they hated me even more then. i tried all my life to appear stupid hoping i'll might escape some bullying. now after these years in depression, loneliness, and inactivity i feel like a complete retard, my memory has become weaker etc. also English isn't my first language but my third, but i can communicate with native speakers without particular problems.
@pheonicianLiberty what you say, for me it is impossible. where will i find these people to hang around with? i go to nο form school οf school or office like working environment. where am i supposed to meet these people? in clubs and cafeterias? like i would. i never go to these places, i dont like them, and if i went i wouldn't know what to do and it would be awkward with total strangers. plus my poor skills and long time loneliness make me come of as creepy or weird so any approach interactions like that, only make it worse. plus i don't like the modern life style and the way most societal people live and that ethos and tastes difference has costed me many relationships in the past (alongside with all my other cons). to the few people i can relate, most are absorbed to their own programs and routines and cliques/companies they've already formed. so i can't see how this suggestion of yours would be rendered possibble.
Everything you wrote reminded me of something, it is so horrendously true. But you can do one of two things: either give in to the social suppression and accumulated depression until the point of no return, which is when you come to terms with loneliness and grow independent of all other people, OR you could start trying to go back in time, to when you had friends and relationship, try to revive what you can from underneath the ashes, and if they don't, from your position you know that there are millions more.
This is one thing that I have learnt: never limit yourself to seemingly-minded people. You have no idea what different people, or even less intelligent ones can add to your life. YOU have no idea, until you give them a chance! And you have no idea what you're able to add to their lives, knowledge and laughter had you known and befriended them.
Remember, it's a little struggle and you need to start acting now. You can start at any age you want, but then you will have to work...
... to work harder on reviving older ties and making new ones. You can find more available people in their 20s than in the ones in their 30s and so on. Just find a proper environment, join some class of any sort where even a mere fraction of your intelligence and abilities can be appreciated. (where do you live?)
REMEMBER, the adults' world differs drastically from the childish bullying atmosphere by which you were ruined. Adults may get envious, uncomfortable or challenged by your exceptional abilities, but mostly appreciative and encouraging.
Additionally, lucky us at this time and age there are all sorts of chances for everyone, especially long-distance opportunities to get educated, to socialise and work. There are free online classes for everything, maybe if you could get a small certificate and pursue a simple thing, in another city, who knows? Moving away from a place where evil humans haunt you is going to benefit you greatly. Start now, please!
Youtube: how to make small talk, how to pick up dates, how to casual talk or how to get phones. It sounds cheesy and stupid, but some of them will teach you things you didn't know were even possible! Give it a try. If you have some money, buy some friends with this: start an interest group on Facebook or anything, throw out a party of any sort, bring people in. You know, people love free things and new things, make it unique but potentially popular! The possibilities are endless.
thanks for the time and effort you invested into this. no i don't have money, this only further cumbers my living quality and relationships making. we are not a rich family, more like the opposite. i have lost my appetite for everything almost. i can't see how i could follow some classes (for many reasons, the above mentioned included). and if it was some online classes i don't see how this would help me make real life friends.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2-8Fm1EUXw&spfreload=10 i think this characterises me in many ways, i don't see how i could make something good out of it. this social awlwardness depicted, the lack of confidence, the horrendous timing, the bad small talk skills, the lack of common interests. i mean, to talk about sports? i watch none. even in school boys scolded me for not knowing a simple player then. (i knew other things they didn't though, but thats another thing). clubbing? partying? dating? sex? business? micropolitics? none of the common interests people 99% of the time talk about.
I guess you good sir gave up on my case as it's hopeless probably :) thanks for the thoughts anyway.
@Sayruhz shall i give you my email?
You are actually so gorgeous and like I'm not just saying it. Like everything about your face is goals goals goals
And I agree that insecurities ruin our lives.
Okay, you're BEAUTIFUL. OMG. Ik you probably won't believe this but you ARE 😄 and you need to believe it sister. But if you want, you can message me if you want to talk girlie 😊
All people have insecurities...
It's a matter of keeping them in check...
Oh my god your so pretty. Lol I wish I could say the same but I can't
I can never be convinced of that hahah i always feel like people lie out of pity. I'm sure you're pretty. but you won't believe me hahah right?
by the way i study phsychology so feel free to message me and let out whatever it is that's bothering you. i can't help myself but ik how to help others.
People who don't let their insecurities ruin their lives are deemed as heartless people. "Those who are heartless, once cared too much." -Unknown
I agree with this. Im slowly letting my insecurities stop running my life.
Sounds like you only 'fall in love' with guys who cheat on you.
I've always felt insecure to the point that I want plastic surgery and avoid going outside. I think trying to be positive helps. you're pretty by the way
Learn that life goes quick, the things the media show us that is important is the opposite and loving one another will help us to love ourselves.
You only can be the best person you can be.
I think this is obvious.
you would think it is, but the extent of it is unknown to most people. My friends are shocked when i let this out to them. People don't find it normal that your opinion of yourself can shatter every part of your life.
You may be correct. Generally speaking when someone expresses distresses that others don't understand however they truly don't know how to help and become, if you will, in a state of "shock". How do you tell someone who is a perfectly normal person that they are a perfectly normal person when they don't believe it?
I don't think there is such thing as a "perfectly normal human". I like to believe we're all mentally scarred and abnormal in our own way. If there is such thing s a perfectly normal human then i've never met one
The world is a funny place. The flaws of man are what make him normal; if one does not strive nor want one is a god. Otherwise he is as normal as everyone else.
I think you'll be ok. Very pretty too
I am the exact exact same way!
You must be blind? You're gorgeous!