How to deal with a shy and secretive girl?

[Anonymous]

So, basically, I like this girl. I've met few girls that had a spark and she is one of them. It's because her parents are divorced, and get this... They divorced because his dad was a big A-hole. As far as I can gather from what she told me, I say that he didn't want a kid with her mother, however, only her mother can truly tell me the reason for their divorce - but I can live without this information, too. So, she grew up without a father, or with a father that rarely came to see her and constantly wasn't nice with her, and she also has gastritis and such information was equal to nothing for that dude... So, you can figure out what kind of 'father' she was. And what is she? A -strong- and -independent- woman. I love these types. I mean, I feel really comfortable around them because I don't have to act like I'm taking care of a child. What adds to her personality is that she's fun and a good company to have around. Altough, since perfection doesn't exists... There is, obviously, a catch. She is secretive and shy, damn shy. I tried to be with her but she said that she already met a person and this happened before we met, around a year or so. But that dude isn't even acting like there'd be something... She's in Romania and he's in Spain. He was supposed to come home to spend some time with her but he didn't, or so I think since she spend most of the time texting me and hanging out with me. After she said that she has someone, twice, because at first I didn't believe her since she had only one guy so far (I'd be the second), I gave up hope I'd have her hand, but I accepted to keep in touch with her. However, I think she gave up hope that for that guy from Spain and would want me to take her hand as she thinks I'm on the good train for maturity, I look younger than my age and she puts a lot of trust in me. I'm leaving for Uni in a month and she doesn't wants to lose contact with me. I don't care if we'll be out of reach, but if I have a chance, what should I do now?

[notgoodwithnames]

as a shy girl, if i like a guy i wouldn't show it. so you make the first move, and if she blocks you that doesn't mean she doesn't want you. because sometimes if a guy does this to me i would feel uncomfortable and push him away but then i would regret it so i believe if she reject you the first time try to ask her again but if she insist no then it means no. just try twice and if not then move on

[Asker]

I did ask her twice, as I said. And the thing is that she started giving hints after the second attempt of mine. Like, for example... She said that everyone is in danger around me, and the topic was related to relationships and the like... It was a sudden remark, but she said she's the most endagered as there is no one else elft to protect her. Don't ask how it got to this because it's really wierd... Just so you know why it's wierd, it all came from a 10 years old kid that said I am texting my girlfriend, which was actually a buddy... Wierd, innit?

[itsme_goodsamaritan]

She trusts you. I think she is just shy, not secretive. Otherwise, how would you have known so much information about her? She doesn't want to lose contact with you. So, keep in touch. I am sure you know how!

[Asker]

I will know she fully trust me when she'll tell me what her father said when she was born. He said something very nasty about her... I already have some thoughts about this, but I'll have to wait to see what he truly said. Why do I say it sure is something nasty and insulting? She was hesitating in telling me when this came up, but when it came up a second time she said that maybe one day she'll tell me. I guess... I could have like... 90% of her trust, but you're right, she does has put a lot of trust in me, as I said. Even her girlfriends, the ones I know, though, didn't knew about this father thing that I'm waiting for. And, as I said earlier and will say again, I don't intend to lose contact. :D

[Westbound]

Well one thing for sure is stay in contact! She has already told you this for sure!!

[Asker]

Losing contact with her is not what I plan, even if she will find someone else. :D

[Westbound]

Well good, you should keep the contact. You don't seem to be upset though if she were to find someone else. You don't want that, do you?

[Asker]

Well, frankly... I am upset. I mean, I'd like her to be mine and such, but you know what they say: if you love something let it go and if it comes back then that's how you know, hence I will be fine with her choice as long as he deserves her. I hate the thought of having a perv that doesn't wants her babies and might treat her innapropriate...