How do you become more submissive? How to let the guy be more dominant?

Question

This is a weird one... I recently had a conversation with my friends about this topic and they all agreed that I'm a dominant woman. Its not something that ever really occurred to me. I just thought I was normal. They said I'm normal but dominant, and definitely not submissive. Thing is I kind of like the idea of being the submissive one. I just kind of thought it happened naturally. I asked one my exes (we're still friends) and he said that we both had dominant and submissive points and we just went off of each others energies at the time. He said Im dominant as well, but in the relationship I never dominated everything, I gave him space and what not. 

But I'm curious - what does it mean to be submissive in a relationship? And how can those of us who are not submissive people naturally learn to be more submissive? How do you let the guy be more dominant? 

It sounds weird but I'm really curious.

Chariot33 · Accepted Answer

First I want to clear a misconception for any girls reading this. Submissive is not the dirty word you were brought up to believe, It is a beautiful word that exemplifies the natural order of the man and women. Women naturally want to be protected loved and provided for... Instinctually of course. As men (well the real ones at least) have the natural desire to love their girl and to protect them and provide for her and the family, to guide the family in the right direction, and to make the final decision out of love for the family. Women and Men are quite equal but our roles are dramatically different. Men lead the family and women keep the family together and make it whole. A submissive women is dedicated to her man and will not let him make bad decisions however she will let him make the final call on all serious matters. A submissive women pulls the household together and make sure it functions properly. A submissive women brings the feminine touch and the love the family lacks otherwise. Her kids love her as she is dedicated to them and her man is constantly there to lay down his life for her and to love her as long as he is respected by her. The submissive women does not complain and is not immodest in her dress and behavior. A submissive women dedicates herself to her family that she lives for.

Philyouup · Accepted Answer

I would say your issue is trust. A Dom/Sub relationship is based on mutual trust. You must trust him implicitly to allow him to control your life, whether outside the relationship, inside or just in the bedroom

You must trust him, enough that you will submit to his desires.. trust him that he won't hurt you, or deceive you.

Getting out of your dominant ways, i am not sure how that is done, unless you look for and find a Dom to train you.

If you are looking for a real Dom/sub relationship, you would need to be trained.

There are many flavors of Doms and Subs. BULLS , Gentleman , or daddies There are total Subs, slaves, brats, pain, baby/little/girl subs. You need to find out what you find fitting for you and appropriate don for you. Kinko is a good place to start.

Naturalfemalesub · Accepted Answer

I'm dominant in my daily life and love being in control, and everything has to be "just so". But I love being submissive in bed to the point of lowering my head when he stands in front of me, enjoying taking off his shoes and rubbing his feet when he gets home... This can often be viewed by women (and even some men) as being used or degraded. But it's something I enjoy doing and giving. I enjoy the bedroom, even to the darkest of places that whips and chains hide. But not every man likes doing that. But it's even difficult to find a dominant man that doesn't have insecurities behind it. So don't be tricked into finding a narcissistic crazy man who acts dominant, make sure he makes you feel loved and cared for (never put down in public). You'll know this through communication, but if you want a dominant man that's a preference, if you don't, don't feel like you have to change yourself to fit what you or everyone else thinks should be the right way. You'll find the right blend if you're just yourself.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

Take an “Acting Class” because if that isn’t your nature, you won’t be able to do it any other way.
What I recommend is that you learn to get your satisfaction from your strong points and just be who you really are.
That’s not hard to do and may be a lot more enjoyable.
Hope that helps.

Angelhello210 · Accepted Answer

When it comes to sex, you are the one being teased while he is the giver.
In relationships: He's the one that takes control and handles everything. While you are kinda a emotional reck who can't make any decisons without his help.

Anonymous · Answer

Being dominant is okay if that's who you are. In my opinion being slightly submissive in a loving relationship kinda allows you to fully accept more of the feminine qualities you have. The truth is you can only be in a more submissive relationship with the correct man. Being submissive doesn't mean you allow people to control you at all, that is a no, you should still stand up for yourself.

I think simple things that place you more in this submissive position would include:
Letting him be your hero - let go of some of the 'feminist don't need no man' ideas a little bit. Let him take the heavy bags and get the lid off the jam jar.
Caring for his wishes - don't be snappy or nag on people, it's negative energy. Try to speak in a positive way that actually appeals to people. And don't bad mouth others
Looking and feeling your best - don't be a slob at home, a lot of girls make this mistake. Keep yourself looking fresh. A casual wrap dress for indoors maybe? Or silk shorts.
Crying instead of yelling - whenever there's hard emotion in the room, being angry adds fuel to the fire, don't shout, cry instead (in a non attention seeking manner of course) and speak about how you feel gently.
Let him lead you - trust is important to a dominant man, he wants to that he's appreciated and loved.

Itico · Answer

Doesn't sound weird at all. As with all things in a relationship, communication is the key. You can't hem and haw and hope.

If you are the more dominant person in your relationship and wish to be submissive in different aspects of that relationship simply talk to your partner about it. Even in very cut and dried instances of sub/dom dynamics we have to communicate not just for intimacy but also for rules and desires.

One of the best ways to do this is find some media that you find appealing and watch/read it together. Casually mention that you'd love to try it. Delve into the lifestyle. Submissive means a LOT of different things and not all or even a tenth of them are going to work for you specifically.

"I kind of want you tie me up and spank me." To, "Make me wear a buttplug at work." to, "Urinate in my hair." and faaaaar beyond. Find out what you want to try.

One of the lowest ways to experience this is orgasm denial/control. Tell them you want them to be in control of that. It gives them a taste of being in charge and keeps you 'ready' to try anything else that might occur to them once they feel that rush of control

kykymason · Answer

I'm a natural submissive and it helps that my boyfriend is dominant.
He has me on my knees when he wants, how he wants. I never ever argue and when he wants to face fuck me, he goes right ahead. He fondles my breasts when he wants to and sometimes he'll swap spit with me.
I'm a bit shy sexually and he just goes at it. He knows what he wants to do and his pleasure is honestly my pleasure.

Iwilltrainyouasaslav · Answer

You submit by first giving the master as much information as possible... invite him to test you and push you. Let him humiliate you. The more you let him hurt you and still focus on giving him pleasure, the closer you will feel and the more you will trust him to take more and more control.

honesty321 · Answer

Submissive is another word for admitting. They want you to be submissive means they want you to admit that what you don't like do like. It is all very manipulating to manipulate these people this way and it is sickening and desturbing. It should be forbidden for that reason. People have a free will not over nothing but in this case it is denied people even have a will. Strange isn't it. Can somebody explain that? I think not. Because what is wrong in reality is wrong and not secretly right.

Sethupathimano · Answer

For example in the relationships like Dominant and submissive, the submissive people willingly submit themselves to their. Basically the submissive people does not expect anything in return. They just perform their services with the only motive to please their Dom. The main thing for being more submissive is acceptance. The subs accept whatever the punishment or reward they receive from their Dom.

raisingcain · Answer

It just means you give him control and enjoy the ride. Don't try to change yourself unless its something you want to change for yourself. If people don't like it that's their problem.

Chiaram2003 · Answer

I’ve seemingly been submissive with all my bf’s. My friends say I trust to much. But that is being submissive…2 trust he’s got u!

Anonymous · Answer

It means you take the back seat. Mkre often then nkt, things go his way and not yours

Gentlemanhard · Answer

I think if the woman is dominant, something in her mind is not working properly

How do you become more submissive? How to let the guy be more dominant?

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