How can I compete with another (very pretty) girl who wants to steal my boyfriend? How can I keep him interested in me?

Question

I can't say about myself that i'm pretty, but I also have a really low self esteem due to a tormented chieldhood. Even so, I ended up with Mr. Perfect. He's tall, handsome, well built, perfect smile, perfect attitude, smart, knows what he wants, he was the most popular and handsome guy in school... anyway you get the idea. He's basically almost every woman's dream. Now... the thing is... we were best friends and we ended up toghether... we've been dating for almost 2 and a half years. The problem is that he is a very wanted guy. A lot of pretty girls want him, and by that I don't play the jelous girlfriend, I actually see them flirting with him, Facebook messageing and the look on their faces. But I'm used to it, most of the time it amuses me how they try to get his attention but he's all over me. The problem here is that there is this one girl, who is absolutely gorgeous, and by that I mean drop. dead. beautiful. she has amazing body and face... and she keeps on showing up almost everywhere we go. And it's a big city here. This  Friday  we went to a club and she was already there (that was a coincidance) and i didn't notice her. My boyfriwnd did, talked like a minute to her, she asked him if I was there, when my boy confirmed my presence she laughed sarcastically, and after that my boy went on his way to the second floor where I was and where after 10 min that girl changed places and came up on the same floor as us where she began indirect flirting by danceing a few feet away in a very provocative manner, trying to tempt my boyfriend to go to her or notice her. I mean, how couldn't you? She was the epitome of beauty danceing right in my boyfriends face. Anyway... all I want is some advice as to how can I work this out. How can I be better than her, how can I keep my boyfriend from fleeing, I know he's faithfull but I'm still a bit on edge...(I'm sorry for any grammar mistake I made,  English  is not my native language and thank you for reading)

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

Stop competeing with other girls altogether... as a girl i really hate girls doing this instead of trying to get on with each other, i have no friends because of this behavior who are so competitve to the point of paraoia, they don't even know me but straight away view me as a "threat" when i'm not even doing nothing... lol i'm just simply sitting there in piece, minding my own buisness... if they want a boyfriend then cool... but non of my buisnss who they may like... but i'm some how always viewed as some "home-wrecker" by other girls, just stop and ignore other girls.

As for this girl trying to steal your bf... tell her to leave you alone for stalking her bf, you need to find out how she is finding out where you are going too, who do you tell? do you post it online for everyone to see? if you only tell a select number of friends then perhaps they aren't your friends after all... if you post online publicy change it to private because SHE WILL nosy to find out where you and your bf are going... tell him to not tell his friends ether because it could be on his side telling her where he's going. At the clubs if she's there tell the bouncers she's trying to cause trouble and stalking your bf, just constantly following you around, go to different clubs too, once you've stopped telling your friends and he stops telling his friends your buisness though and you set everything to private (including not posting where your going or where you are online), then it will make things too difficult for her. That's all you can do really and hope she goes away.

Azazzrael · Accepted Answer

Girl you have three things that girl does NOT- 1. Personality. You were friends because he probably liked that about you, and now your together because of it.
2- you have history. Friends first and relationship afterwards tends to last for a long time and be stronger than other tours of relationships.
3- you. Just being yourself, I really don't believe she can steal him from you. Why, because when you start asfriends first, you build a very strong foundation, that not many festivals can ever get to be even close to. He obviously likes you for you.
If I were you, I would speak with him honestly about how you feel. Everything you have said here, talk with him about, I think it could further down your relationship. Dont worry!;-)

cantbreakthishabit · Accepted Answer

honestly, you know you are so much better than that provocative chick. and it seems like your boyfriend isn't tempted to cheat on you. it takes a LOT of effort to dismiss other girls checking your boyfriend out/flirting with him, i share your concerns. if it really bugs you however, you have to bring it up to him. he has to understand that. letting him know isn't an act of insecurity but just plain and simply because you're uncomfortable with this girl. Just let him know and keep your head high! you got nothing to lose

parkway · Accepted Answer

Do nothing. When you look at her, think that she wants what you have. If you react he will feel it and the problem begins.

Understand energy and for you to give power or attention to her is to think or talk about her. Feeling self doubt is just your ego wanting to destroy what you have.

She may be very attractive but she is not complete and the proof is in her actions.

Trust me her being very attractive is not always a good thing. She is pretty and single that does not make sense? There must be a problem with her attitude and the proof is she has no one. She does not respect you or your relationship. She does not respect his choices. She has no boundries in her life. If your bf was to leave you for her then what does he have? A pretty painted piece of trash.

Truly-Unique · Accepted Answer

PinkGirl, you ARE pretty, and if a guy who you have history with will ditch you just cos some other girl who is also pretty comes along and shows interest in him, that only shows just how insecure he is in himself.

My advice to you is, when that girl is around, just smile, act like she's just another sack of meat (lol) and act just like yourself around your boyfriend. A confident gf who can show she's secure in her relationship with her guy is worth more than some pretty girl who tries to steal bfs. If she'd do it to your bf, she'd soon dump him and do it to another girl's bf.

BrightEyesRemember · Answer

Simple. Don't try to compete with her. Dude you already got the guy, take a chill pill. Sounds like you're just being insecure cuz it doesn't sound like he's interested. If you really can't function then mention her to your bf and tease him about how the girl in question is all over him. His response should say everything. Unless he gets pissed or doesn't respond to you, you should consider yourself safe from being knocked off. Past that just stop worrying so much and relax. Stop paying attention to her and just focus your attention on him. And being WITH him. Presently. As in like one minded totally in the moment taking all of him in and just enjoying him in whatever way you feel best.

strawberrynecklace · Answer

First , the second you start feeling threatened by her, she has already one! Do not give her that power sista! You want to make a 9/10 look like a 20/10? Act threatened. Now he is choosing you! To be with you! It doesn't matter how beautiful the next woman is, don't compare yourself. You must act like a prize, and you'll turn him into a believer. And trust me, with all that personality it goes MUCH MUCH farther than physical beauty. Just be you my dear, and if somehow he leaves you for another, he is not right for you. Keep that head up , you're gorgous

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that he is conversing with her and doing what you say he is doing means the process has began in his mind to replace you. I am truly sorry to say this, I really am, but you deserve to know the truth from a guys perspective and men don't do the things he did unless he is interested in her. The best (and only) play you have at this point is direct and honest conversation with him. Typically a girl should never go down the road of asking about another woman but given what you expressed and said he did, you really have no other option because if you sit idle, he will either move on or cheat on you (if he hasn't already). So I truly suggest you sit him down ASAP... as in today.

VulcanHades · Answer

Azazzrael is absolutely right. If your boyfriend truly loves you the way you are and you have a solid friendship foundation then you don't have much to worry about. And if he dumps you for her then he was a douche to begin with because he clearly only cared about a woman's good looks.

She cannot "steal" him from you, only he can cheat on you. So the way I see it you either trust your boyfriend or you don't. And I don't think you have any reason to not trust him or doubt the love he has for you. So don't worry about it and if it can make you feel better talk to him about it. I'm sure he will reassure you.

Panorama · Answer

You don't have to compete, you've already won : ) he is YOUR boyfriend after all and what is she? A desperate, conniving, disrespectful home wrecking skank? Lol Any smart man is not foolish enough to choose a female who blatantly shows her messed up moral compass.

The fact that you feel like you need to compete shows that deep down, you are honestly insecure and may feel threatened by this other girl. Personally, I wouldn't volunteer that information to him because it makes you vulnerable in a way that could work against you later on. Unless she does something blatantly inappropriate or schemes in a grimy way, then don't showcase your insecurities to your boyfriend. Best solution is to just make him feel like the most cherished, lucky, adored man in the world.

allwood · Answer

you don't need to do anything, you were best friends to start with, so there is a huge connection there that would be difficult to break. This other girl is acting like a b**ch and your boyfriend probably knows this anyway and only speaks to her because he is a nice guy. You are also a pretty girl, so you definitely don't need to worry about things.
Just relax and enjoy your time together.

Justcurious123 · Answer

Beauty is not everything. You've been together for 2 and a half years. He won't leave you just for her looks. And from what you described he doesn't seem interested at all in her so she's as much of a threat as all the other girls. But if you really don't feel comfortable about the situation you can tell him how you feel without sounding jealous or too possessive and needy and passive aggressive. But I don't think that's really necessary.

vet31bSoldier · Answer

Look. If you have to fight to keep him from leaving you for her... then don't waste your time. If he wants you, then that should be enough to keep him from doing something stupid.

If he doesn't have the balls to tell her to knock it off, then... you need a new b/f

Anonymous · Answer

You sound like a really nice girl. Your boyfriend must love ur personality.
That girl, might be beautiful but she sounds like a *excuse my language* a bitch. It is extreamly disrespectful and not only that but trashy, to hit on, and dance provocatively, to a guy with a girlfriend, especially when she's right there wtf?
Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy too though, just go to him and express to him how you feel. I'm sure he would understand, that girl might be beautiful but, she's just playing immature games.

Worthy · Answer

You have to stop this..
He is dating you for a reason.. You need to be confident and show that you are confident or else trust me he will leave you. show him you have your own life.. you are independent and that him being in your life is a bonus not something you need
Please don't think you aren't worthy.. Because once you analyze things he will notice and things will get bad. just be confident

lumos · Answer

If he really is a faithful boyfriend, then you won't have to compete. He's already your boyfriend, so there's no point in competing. And if he's a cheater, there's still nothing you can do about it. Cheaters cheat no matter what you do or say. All you can do at this point is to keep being a good girlfriend. That's it.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls are interesting. The moment I was with my ex, it's like every girl on the planet was interested in me. Maybe I just presented myself different.

Anyways, my (now) ex gave me great head. Honestly, that kept me around with her (among other things). If you can suck his cock so well, you'll never have a guy leave you. Or he will have an extremely hard time leaving.

Little-Hippie · Answer

I mean, it doesn't seem like he's that interested in cheating on you with her or in leaving you.

But she's still overstepping her boundaries.
So you should probably punch her in the face when he's not around.

Anonymous · Answer

First off, you're so beautiful! Secondly, you know how the saying goes, if a man wants to cheat, he'll stop at nothing to fulfill his desire. How many more gorgeous women are you bound to encounter, are you really gonna worry yourself like this over each one of them? No, you simply can't. Believe in your self and don't show your insecurities by trying too hard, because then you will give him reason to believe the other girl is actually worthy. You'll be surprised how gorgeous women get used by men, too often these kind of women are not taken seriously. Even if he does end up cheating, I don't think he'll leave you for her, very unlikely. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and he will too. You can always find a way to spice things up to keep him content, like switch to a new look, sexual adventures etc. I repeat, you're very beautiful.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Duh. You just have to carry on being yourself, if your boyfriend is interested in you because of who you are and you do provide for his needs (emotional sexual etc) then you wouldn't need to worry about him looking for an alternative, as long as he values commitment.

lananoel · Answer

So you have a bird bitch on our hands? Look I'll be honest, NOTHING keeps a man from cheating, If he wants to leave he will. You can cook, clean, suck him, rub his back tell him he is awesome blah blah blah, but if he isn't interested that's just it. If he does leave don't be heartbroken, you gave a good effort and it wasn't a match for his appetite.

ilovesexyfeet · Answer

Do u rust him and love him d does he love u? If yes then just be yourself he won't be interested in her and if he was or is and does something with her then he was never worth having anyway and he'll just do the same thing to her

higherthanaveragejoe · Answer

Well unless she's jessica alba or some model you dont have anything to really worry about because you're pretty damn beautiful yourself.

human_male · Answer

First, you are pretty your self.

Second, keep things normal, he is with you as you are. If some other girl gets his attention, it will be his choice and it's not your fault. Now if the other girl dances and he likes to dance, you should dance too. There are certain things you can change but remember you must be your self. If you just become the other girl that would be very unfair for you and eventually he may opt for the original one.

mistninja314 · Answer

he isn't your boyfriend if you have to fight for him to stay or scared he might leave you for another girl trust issues?

How can I compete with another (very pretty) girl who wants to steal my boyfriend? How can I keep him interested in me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How can I compete with another (very pretty) girl who wants to steal my boyfriend? How can I keep him interested in me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.