I would feel bad about the situation. I had a guy friend that liked me but never fully said that he did. I didn't feel the same way so I'm actually glad he never told me. Plus I wouldn't want to have lost the friendship we had. He's in the navy now so I don't talk to him much anymore. As of now I currently like someone a lot and I'm trying to figure out if he likes me to so I won't have to deal with rejection. To answer your question though, I wouldn't feel sorry exactly for rejecting the person if I didn't like them that way because I can't help who I fall for but I would feel sorry for hurting them.
I chose b because I almost always saw it coming and could tell the guy liked me so I don't think it was a harshrrejection to say no. I already considered dating him once I saw how interested he was and it wouldn't be fair to give him a chance to spare his feelings
I never feel bad for rejecting the guy until months later maybe because I'm single and could've been with someone. Never because I hurt his feelings or whatever because it's not like it was a guy friend who secretly had a crush on me for years
There was this guy who really liked me. I thought he was weird and rejected him [countless] times. He took the hint and never spoke to me again. Then, somehow, I began liking him. However, it was already too late. He started liking another girl by that time, which was already a year later. I tried to apologize. I knew that even if I apologized though, he probably wouldn't forgive me, let alone like me that way ever again. Now, I just feel like karma bit me in the ass.. :-) Well, that's just how things are. If I could, I'd change how I was before.
I'm sorry to hear that... This is the fear I'm always having if I don't tell my crush soon that I like her, and that she'll start to like other guys, but I also fear rejection at the same time... I'm meeting her this Saturday, since her birthday is this Friday .
I usually feel really bad because its usually a long time friend who asks me and even if its just an acquaintance I already feel terrible. But, it really can't be helped in a sense that I'd rather be honest about how I feel than lie just to keep them from hurting because in the long term That will be more hurtful.
I feel uncomfortable rejecting people, it makes me look like a bad person. So I don't like being in that situation. If he was a really good guy and I just didn't feel the same then I'd feel bad about it. I wouldn't pity date someone though, just better to be honest with them about how you feel.
There are times when I don't care though and that's when the guy came under the impression that by us being friends and him being interested in me that that meant I was SUPPOSED to date him or something (ex: the "friendzone" bullshit). I usually let guys know in the beginning that I'm not interested in having anything but a platonic relationship though. It's the worst when I tell them that, they develop feelings and then get mad at me for not returning their feelings... like, come on.
I felt really frustrated too when my crush friendzoned me. I just had to ask her how she thought of us so far, and she told me "hmmm just friends". I was really upset the whole night...
Yes, I feel really bad. If he actually liked my personality and everything and was interested in me for more than sex, yes I feel terrible. But I'd feel worse for him if I dated him "out of pity" or something.
Rejection sucks, and it'd take some really heartless/sociopathic person to do it with no empathy.
@xGreenEyedAngelx Ya, and after hanging out with girls more, I learned that most of them are genuinely nice and do care about you, even if it's your first time meeting them. Thank you for your opinion!
If he was trying to be a jerk [humiliating my friends to make 'me look better' - somehow - I never get this move], showing off and sending me drinks in hopes of buying a date from me then I'm not sorry at all. I don't take a sip of the dink he sent and I never say 'yes'.
in my opinion, i'll relate what i did to a fellow who liked me but i had no liking for him whatsoever, i never like told him no or anything, i just ignored him off that subject, so i don't think i really rejected him, i never felt guilty about it anyway, but if i were to be ruthless and reject someone, of course, am human, and i have a heart of flesh, so it'd hurt deeply... but like wounds, with time they heal and people move on :)
I feel respect and concern, but certainly not grieved over it, but neither do I feel grieved over someone rejecting me. I would MUCH rather someone give a polite "no," than pretend to like me and waste my time with pretenses which will ALWAYS lead to an ultimate failed relationship.
Personal tastes in men and woman are no different and no more personal than are color preferences; so why be insulted if someone rejects you? Some people like blue, some like pink, others like orange, purple, navy or whatever... if you're rejected it simply means that the person liked "another color," and I wasn't it. If they like "pink" and I'm "purple," how is that bad? How is that personal? I'm glad they turned me down and I go try to find someone who likes "purple." Same thing if I turn someone else down... I view it the same way. Rejection isn't a personal insult... it's simply a preferences thing. That's all.
The wording is problematic here: " if he actually [...] I'd be really hurt and frustrated". I hope you weren't looking to guilt trip us or pity you. This is the way I see it: would you rather be lead on and cling to false hope for a long time or just get over her? I never lead guys on. I'd be disgusted if I was led on and would immediately lose respect for the person leading me on. I've been raised on tough love though. I do not expect a man to pity me because he is not attracted to me. That doesn't mean he thinks I'm a disgusting human being. I've turned down someone and he never spoke to me ever again. His choice, his right. No hard feelings.
I think most girls would definitely feel sorry for the guy. I mean, it's hard to be seen as incompassionate regardless of gender as long as you have some morality within you. But, I'm sorry to say that guys never ask me out at all, let alone in person.
I know the struggle on not feeling like you're enough. I've been single for quite some time and it is what it is, but that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It just means that now is not the time for you to be with that person, if with that individual at all. They probably just aren't the one for you.
when someone very liked you so much and you did not like him either , there is come a point you feels disturbed because of him , in fact the boys feeling is more complicated than girls they feels so bad if someone rejected them because as a man in their nature they are not emotionally as what their brain structure compared to woman. If you want to reject him , I think in some nice way such a friendly conservation that makes them fell not awkward towards you and you must respect their emotion because someday this emotion goes fades away.
Ya, and me being a guy, I can tell you that we're more emotional than you think... I cry a lot when my crush takes too long to reply to me cause I'm worried she doesn't really care about me anymore...
I will always feel a little guilty for rejecting a guy. It takes guts to come to someone and tell them how you really feel no matter who you are. However, depending on the situation, it may be one to just let go. Like if I just genuinely do not feel the same way (of course I feel bad because there's always a chance he could think I led him on in some way), then you just have to let it go and not eat you up.
Maybe because guys are usually the ones doing the asking. So just by sheer exposure, guys get rejected more often. Either way its not fun for either person.
If he's genuin or not doesn't matter. The risk of abuse of power given to him by the woman still exists. Granted love makes you do stupid things but so do your hormones. Obsession is for someone who does not share the same fealings as the other person. there are risks for for stupid choices. If i said "no" at least youve been given a direct answer rather than being led on by indecisive answers.
I feel very, very little feel bad, but I don't like him. Especially, all the things he did to me and I wasn't going to ask someone out who was two years older than me plus he was annoying me; however, I was crushing on someone every time he asked and he asked again this past summer while I was working. Ugh!
I feel terrible. There was a time in my life I dated multiple guys and I faced both rejections and was at the same time wanted by others. For those I rejected, I felt terrible for leading him to fall for me like that. A couple even drove out in the middle of the night wanting just a kiss after I've told him it's better to not continue dating. That's when it'd hit the hardest. We just can't help how hard one can fall for another even in just a short amount of time.
I will feel bad for a moment, especially when the guy is a sweetheart. I definitely have had my share of rejections and it hurts. The whole "let's be friends" and being "string along as an option." Because of this, I am honest and straightforward to someone before they get the wrong impression. Especially when boundaries can get too messy "friendliness mistaken for a flirt." I just say we aren't compatible, and also mention great qualities I see in him that any other would love. Wish him all the best. Though truth is I am not in the best situation to be in relationship. Single..
Yes and no. You do feel awful for rejecting a guy, because its never ever nice for anyone to be told they dont feel the same way. But on the flip side of it, no. At the end of the day its kind of being cruel to be kind, i dont think any guy would want a girl to be with them out of pity. Nor would i personally want a guy to be with me through pity. Its all about finding someone who wants to be with you because they genuinely want to be, rejecting someone when you dont feel the same shortens the length of time it would mean take for them to move on when they know the score, rather than stringing them along prolonging the moving on process.
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I would feel bad about the situation. I had a guy friend that liked me but never fully said that he did. I didn't feel the same way so I'm actually glad he never told me. Plus I wouldn't want to have lost the friendship we had. He's in the navy now so I don't talk to him much anymore. As of now I currently like someone a lot and I'm trying to figure out if he likes me to so I won't have to deal with rejection. To answer your question though, I wouldn't feel sorry exactly for rejecting the person if I didn't like them that way because I can't help who I fall for but I would feel sorry for hurting them.
True. Ruining a friendship makes things even worse...
I chose b because I almost always saw it coming and could tell the guy liked me so I don't think it was a harshrrejection to say no. I already considered dating him once I saw how interested he was and it wouldn't be fair to give him a chance to spare his feelings
I never feel bad for rejecting the guy until months later maybe because I'm single and could've been with someone. Never because I hurt his feelings or whatever because it's not like it was a guy friend who secretly had a crush on me for years
It really sucks to be single...
It does but don't settle just to fill the void of loneness
There was this guy who really liked me. I thought he was weird and rejected him [countless] times. He took the hint and never spoke to me again. Then, somehow, I began liking him. However, it was already too late. He started liking another girl by that time, which was already a year later. I tried to apologize. I knew that even if I apologized though, he probably wouldn't forgive me, let alone like me that way ever again. Now, I just feel like karma bit me in the ass.. :-) Well, that's just how things are. If I could, I'd change how I was before.
I'm sorry to hear that... This is the fear I'm always having if I don't tell my crush soon that I like her, and that she'll start to like other guys, but I also fear rejection at the same time... I'm meeting her this Saturday, since her birthday is this Friday .
I am guessing he is not a bad boy.
It depends. If I judged that he only liked me in a physical way then no. It wouldn't make me feel guilt.
I care more about a girl emotionally than physically.
Same here. :)
@Lonelywolf21 Thanks!
Same here.
I usually feel really bad because its usually a long time friend who asks me and even if its just an acquaintance I already feel terrible. But, it really can't be helped in a sense that I'd rather be honest about how I feel than lie just to keep them from hurting because in the long term That will be more hurtful.
Ya, true... Thanks for your opinion!
I feel uncomfortable rejecting people, it makes me look like a bad person. So I don't like being in that situation. If he was a really good guy and I just didn't feel the same then I'd feel bad about it. I wouldn't pity date someone though, just better to be honest with them about how you feel.
There are times when I don't care though and that's when the guy came under the impression that by us being friends and him being interested in me that that meant I was SUPPOSED to date him or something (ex: the "friendzone" bullshit). I usually let guys know in the beginning that I'm not interested in having anything but a platonic relationship though. It's the worst when I tell them that, they develop feelings and then get mad at me for not returning their feelings... like, come on.
I felt really frustrated too when my crush friendzoned me. I just had to ask her how she thought of us so far, and she told me "hmmm just friends". I was really upset the whole night...
Yes, I feel really bad. If he actually liked my personality and everything and was interested in me for more than sex, yes I feel terrible.
But I'd feel worse for him if I dated him "out of pity" or something.
Rejection sucks, and it'd take some really heartless/sociopathic person to do it with no empathy.
Thanks for you opinion!
You're welcome.
I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you :)
You're welcome!
It depends. If it seemed genuine and it probably took a lot of courage for him to tell me straight up? Yeah, I would feel a little bad.
So most girls aren't as shallow as they seem, I guess?
A lot of girls aren't, a lot of guys can be
@xGreenEyedAngelx Ya, and after hanging out with girls more, I learned that most of them are genuinely nice and do care about you, even if it's your first time meeting them. Thank you for your opinion!
A
- I feel bad... really bad...
If he was trying to be a jerk [humiliating my friends to make 'me look better' - somehow - I never get this move], showing off and sending me drinks in hopes of buying a date from me then I'm not sorry at all. I don't take a sip of the dink he sent and I never say 'yes'.
Fair enough! I want a genuine long term relationship.
in my opinion, i'll relate what i did to a fellow who liked me but i had no liking for him whatsoever, i never like told him no or anything, i just ignored him off that subject, so i don't think i really rejected him, i never felt guilty about it anyway, but if i were to be ruthless and reject someone, of course, am human, and i have a heart of flesh, so it'd hurt deeply... but like wounds, with time they heal and people move on :)
But ignoring someone would cause them frustration...
... uh-oh, i never thought of it that way, which hurts most, ignoring someone or telling someone off?
I feel respect and concern, but certainly not grieved over it, but neither do I feel grieved over someone rejecting me. I would MUCH rather someone give a polite "no," than pretend to like me and waste my time with pretenses which will ALWAYS lead to an ultimate failed relationship.
Personal tastes in men and woman are no different and no more personal than are color preferences; so why be insulted if someone rejects you? Some people like blue, some like pink, others like orange, purple, navy or whatever... if you're rejected it simply means that the person liked "another color," and I wasn't it. If they like "pink" and I'm "purple," how is that bad? How is that personal? I'm glad they turned me down and I go try to find someone who likes "purple." Same thing if I turn someone else down... I view it the same way. Rejection isn't a personal insult... it's simply a preferences thing. That's all.
Then how come we still get hurt in the end? And why do we get jealous if we see her with someone else?
The wording is problematic here: " if he actually [...] I'd be really hurt and frustrated". I hope you weren't looking to guilt trip us or pity you. This is the way I see it: would you rather be lead on and cling to false hope for a long time or just get over her? I never lead guys on. I'd be disgusted if I was led on and would immediately lose respect for the person leading me on. I've been raised on tough love though. I do not expect a man to pity me because he is not attracted to me. That doesn't mean he thinks I'm a disgusting human being. I've turned down someone and he never spoke to me ever again. His choice, his right. No hard feelings.
False hope is even worse than rejection...
I think most girls would definitely feel sorry for the guy. I mean, it's hard to be seen as incompassionate regardless of gender as long as you have some morality within you. But, I'm sorry to say that guys never ask me out at all, let alone in person.
I feel like even if I put myself out there, most of the time, it's still not enough...
I know the struggle on not feeling like you're enough. I've been single for quite some time and it is what it is, but that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It just means that now is not the time for you to be with that person, if with that individual at all. They probably just aren't the one for you.
when someone very liked you so much and you did not like him either , there is come a point you feels disturbed because of him , in fact the boys feeling is more complicated than girls they feels so bad if someone rejected them because as a man in their nature they are not emotionally as what their brain structure compared to woman. If you want to reject him , I think in some nice way such a friendly conservation that makes them fell not awkward towards you and you must respect their emotion because someday this emotion goes fades away.
- lheng ;-)
Ya, and me being a guy, I can tell you that we're more emotional than you think... I cry a lot when my crush takes too long to reply to me cause I'm worried she doesn't really care about me anymore...
I will always feel a little guilty for rejecting a guy. It takes guts to come to someone and tell them how you really feel no matter who you are.
However, depending on the situation, it may be one to just let go. Like if I just genuinely do not feel the same way (of course I feel bad because there's always a chance he could think I led him on in some way), then you just have to let it go and not eat you up.
It does take a lot of courage to tell someone you like them regardless of gender, but it seems to be much harder for us guys...
Maybe because guys are usually the ones doing the asking. So just by sheer exposure, guys get rejected more often. Either way its not fun for either person.
If he's genuin or not doesn't matter. The risk of abuse of power given to him by the woman still exists. Granted love makes you do stupid things but so do your hormones. Obsession is for someone who does not share the same fealings as the other person. there are risks for for stupid choices. If i said "no" at least youve been given a direct answer rather than being led on by indecisive answers.
Honesty is always the best way to go...
I feel very, very little feel bad, but I don't like him. Especially, all the things he did to me and I wasn't going to ask someone out who was two years older than me plus he was annoying me; however, I was crushing on someone every time he asked and he asked again this past summer while I was working. Ugh!
Then just tell him straight up you don't like him. He`s definitely not worth your time then!
He doesn't get the story because he keeps coming back; at least, I don't see him every day any more!
I feel terrible. There was a time in my life I dated multiple guys and I faced both rejections and was at the same time wanted by others. For those I rejected, I felt terrible for leading him to fall for me like that. A couple even drove out in the middle of the night wanting just a kiss after I've told him it's better to not continue dating. That's when it'd hit the hardest. We just can't help how hard one can fall for another even in just a short amount of time.
And when you fall really hard for someone, it'll continue to hurt even more...
I will feel bad for a moment, especially when the guy is a sweetheart. I definitely have had my share of rejections and it hurts. The whole "let's be friends" and being "string along as an option." Because of this, I am honest and straightforward to someone before they get the wrong impression. Especially when boundaries can get too messy "friendliness mistaken for a flirt." I just say we aren't compatible, and also mention great qualities I see in him that any other would love. Wish him all the best. Though truth is I am not in the best situation to be in relationship. Single..
You seem really sweet! Thank you for those kind words! I wish you the best of luck!
All in all try not to take it too personal. Don't give up on love! Good luck!
Yes and no. You do feel awful for rejecting a guy, because its never ever nice for anyone to be told they dont feel the same way. But on the flip side of it, no. At the end of the day its kind of being cruel to be kind, i dont think any guy would want a girl to be with them out of pity. Nor would i personally want a guy to be with me through pity. Its all about finding someone who wants to be with you because they genuinely want to be, rejecting someone when you dont feel the same shortens the length of time it would mean take for them to move on when they know the score, rather than stringing them along prolonging the moving on process.
Love sucks... But thanks for your opinion!