Well it sounds like the animalistic part of your brain likes bad boys/assholes. The good news is that we humans can actually control and often outthink the more primitive part of your brain. I know its hard by try to think of specifics of why these assholes get your motor running and nice guys don't.
Also try getting into a relationship with a nice guy. Talk to him about it. Many nice guys instinctively treat women they way they want to be treated which is nice. They have no idea that there are women out there who like being treated with cold and emotionless manners.
If he is a nice guy he might be willing to play along and treat you like that. Just remember it won't be like that 24/7 so when he starts to behave with emotion and that voice inside you says "Run for the hills" you need to stop it and say, "No!" this is the man I love and I'm not leaving him over something so stupid.
I don't think there is anything too wrong with you or women like you. Think of it as if you had some kind of kink. Nothing horrible just a little unorthodox, let's say you liked it on the rough side in bed. Now if your man didn't automatically do that in bed would you just leave him, or would you talk about it? Would you say I love you but it really gets my motor running if you are a little rough in bed? Or would you just assume he is a boring nice guy and leave? Chances are in both instances he will be willing to do it because he loves you, and if not, well I guess its better you find out now because its a deal breaker, right?
Just like in the bedroom in the other aspects of the relationship communication is key. Try finding a nice guy you know is good for you, and after a little while sit him down and talk to him about what you like. I think many nice guys will be willing to treat you like you want if you are willing to put up with their occasional "nice guyness."
I use to be this kind of "nice guy” when I was younger. It’s because a"nice guy” like that is a pushover who’s too afraid of offending you or saying something that you won’t agree with, and following you around like puppy dog because he is afraid someone else will snatch you up lacks confidence and is insecure. that eventually will get boring and annoying for any women. Don’t sell yourself short though and get with a guy that isn’t going to treat you with respect and dignity. You need to hold yourself to higher standards and not be afraid to wait for what you deserve instead of what is just available.
I had a long distance relationship with a guy, who was very sweet.
After about a year I broke it off, because I could not stand him always catering to me. He was always funny, polite, respectful, BUT he was also a doormat.
He always agreed with me about EVERYTHING. It's like he didn't have his own persona, his own thoughts. Everything was done to please my every desire and I could not stand being made an idol of. Maybe god is cool with having millions worship him all the time, but I found it tedious as fuck.
Some men need to understand that if you put a woman on a pedestal and be her yes man 24/7, she will get bored.
We don't want to be worshipped, we want to interact with you on the same level.
There could be many reasons:
1. You think that you don't deserve someone that is nice and loves you.
2. You are afraid of commitment
3. You are naturally dragged towards bad boys.
4. You aren't confident enough to think that you can keep a guy that nice next to you.
I could think in more but you know yourself better, now that you know that you have that problem try to look deep and find what's causing it. It happened the same thing to me some years ago and it was because I didn't love myself so I couldnt believe in someone loving me or being nice at me, I worked on it and now I think and feel differently. Hope you can work this out, remember that we always get the love tha we think that we deserve
There needs to be a balance for me. He needs to treat me right yet be a man. Sometimes men think arrogance and cockiness are "manly" traits.
The saying "a lady in public and a freak in the bedroom" works in reverse as well. I like a gentleman in public and a tiger in the bedroom. I like a man who is kind and considerate but knows how to rein me in from time to time. Too nice can be a turn off if he is a pushover, but there is a huge difference between genuinely kind and a door mat. It's a hard balance to achieve, and a hard one to find.
Because you're not used to having guys be nice to you. I can be that way sometimes too. I mean if a guy is coming on too strong that just makes me feel so uncomfortable but if he's nice just try to relax a little... I mean never settle for any less than you deserve, js!!
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It's because you care more about the relationship than the people. The emotionless guy seems like an amusement park. He's a roller coaster and a whirlwind. It's unpredictable and exciting. Which at first is fun. Then you get to know the person and you realize that this roller chaser is starting to hurt your head and your tired and want to get off but you can't change the roller coaster you can only wait to exit. The nice guy is like the forest. You walk out there and there's nothing just trees. It's nice at first but eventually you want to do stuff. You want excitement but all you can see is boring trees. The reasons I'm making this metaphor is to illustrate that these men as you've described them aren't people to you. They're situations. Dating situations. They're settings for your dating life. But maybe if you slightly change the way you look at them you'll feel differently. Why is he a nice guy? Is he like this because he was raised to treat women this way? Did he grow up thinking that giving a girl nice things is the easiest way to sleep with her? Or is he just genuinely a nice person that likes doing nice stuff? Is the emotionless guy really emotionless or just a manipulator? Is he really a nice guy who's hurt? Why are these men like this? Because the nice guy only exists in your head. The guys your dating aren't emotionless assholes or nice guys they're people that at this particular time are this particular way. You're the one taking those few actions and turning them into archetypes of men then putting them into categories of men you'd date. If you stop seeing the guy as a nice guy or bad boy and say this guy was a jerk to me this one time or the last eight times and ask why to learn about him you'll understand he's not an emotionless guy. He's Charlie or Trey or Micheal. He's not your potential boyfriend or husband he's a unique individual with no ties to you whatsoever. And maybe if you find each other interesting you can go ride roller coasters together.
There isn't necessarily anything wrong with you. You are probably attracted to masculine males that don't put up with your nonsense, should you have it.
Society has seemingly brainwashed us to believe that seeking assertive males means females are self-destructive, when in reality that's how evolution has programmed you to be.
You want a guy with the capacity to lead. You want a guy with the capacity to protect you. You want a guy with a brain and confidence.
Unfortunately nowadays those guys are few and far between because it's difficult to be selfless and strong at the same time not to mention guys like that are typically lambasted as mysognists by radical feminists. So you're forced to settle for strong guys that are lacking in character or nice guys without a backbone.
Fortunately, out of the fires of conflict brought about by the radical naysayers trying to burn out the powerful male... he will rise again resilient to their lies, evolved into something even more than before.
The bottom line is that if you act the part, of being a female, you won't have to find guys like that. They will find you because that is in their nature just as much as it is in yours. You just have to make yourself available.
Granted you could seek them out as well and make your intentions clear. It might save you time.
While the asked said she isn't into nice guys , I see the nice guys being portrayed as a limp decked wuss boy. What is the perception that nixes guys at incapable of defending then selve or their SO? I consider myself a fairly nice guy until given reason to be diffrent , then I am very capable of becoming a mid evil MF would have no problem in doing so to defend my lady. Door mat , while a lot of nice guys will let their woman use them as a foot stool that's in part to low self esteem on his part , and if he wishes to keep said woman he should go to wal mart and buy her a foot prop and bring it in and prop her feet up nicely and get her a nice cold drink then excuse himself to go grow a pair !!
Well I think you answered your own question, because they're boring. I've been told I'm boring many times and am also considered one of those nice guys. You have a fetish for not nice guys. They are probably interesting to you where nicer gentleman are bland. It's not a bad thing, though I think you may not be very happy in the end. Because if not-nice is what you want, that is what you will get. But we can't help it. We want what we want. If you're just not interested in a gentleman, you're not going to love him, and he's going to end up leaving you anyway. So it's actually good you don't lead them on. So are you doomed to marrying an asshole? Not necessarily. You might change your taste in men later, but, ... in all sincerity, that doesn't usually happen.
Sometimes guys and girls can be so nice that it is just too overwhelming. Like they need to suck up all the time!
If you are good looking woman, they may feel they have to! Some guys are excessive bc they think that's what you want or they think they have to bc you may choose someone else over them if they don't give you enough attention. A good majority of woman are relatively needy (not a bad thing we all crave some attention), some guys feel they need to fill that void on a constant basis.
If you are not needy then it may come off as too much... if a guy is doing that to you... sit him down and talk about it... he may be relieved?
Ahhh yes , the tragic human condition of taking things for granted and only being able to value things in retrospect.
Isn't that brilliant?
People don't see value in things that come too easily , good guys , you can pick one off the street RIGHT NOW.
Everyone wants to be a lion tamer with no more training than a tax accountant.
The results are often funny if not tragic. No worries , everyone makes the same mistakes.
Well said...
@The-Girl-In-Pink487
In the end i guess there's only one thing left that can be said.
We are only human.
Yes we are.
@The-Girl-In-Pink487
A victim of someone suffering from the condition or a patient?
Okay thanks for the details, nope I know your type. It's because the nice guy makes you feel like it's you who has to make moves and you don't like that because it leaves you open to be at fault or to be blamed when you and, but not just you, there are other women, like your man to be in control and at fault. So yeah I'm that good. Explain this to your nice guy, and watch him ravage over your body like a bad boy, and take all your feelings of regret. I would do it for you and and wouldn't care like a priest cleansing sins, but I suspect I don't live anywhere close to you. Your welcome, just open the lines of communication.
You want a challenge.
Most girl want a guy that is confident, in control, and a challenge.
In this case, he must be able to say the word "No" once in a while, instead of catering to you all the time.
Nice guy or not have nothing to do with this.
Unless you make effort to change your behavior, you will persist this way right up until you have your first child. If the father of that child is enough of an asshole so as to threaten the safety and well being of the child, the nice guy will start to look pretty good. Classic cuckold behavior.
It's understable to me why a man who's a doormat might be a turnoff for you.
Being attracted to men that are very cold and emotionless toward you, that's the real problem. How can you have a fulfilling relationship like that? Do you think that your desire for these very cold, emotionless men is indicative of your own self-worth?
Because your just like 98% of the girls that like to get mistreated for pleasure and throw away opportunities with a genuine good guy. Some learn and come to their state of mind, while most continue to do the same mistakes and yet complain how us guys in general are monsters so to speak... thats why.
i have the same problem but ill tell you its because i like my space and nice guys tend to be a little more clingy and try to cater too much. when someone asks if i need help with everything i get kinda annoyed, if i need help ill ask thats just the way i am. so maybe its that guys who dont show as much emotion tend to give us more space.
I think the thing is that you love the feeling of chasing someone, once they go after you you loose interest and become bored because you like how it feels to keep trying to please someone who is mean to you, you like the way it feels to try to get there praise, and once the nice guys give it to you the feeling ends like they've ruined the chase, for approval.
Yes your are doomed if you stay the way you are. Grow up and appreciate what you can get and you will be happy. Also why are nice guys boring? Many nice guys are quite adventurous. You may have some underlying psychological issues that need to be dealt with.
Lmfao me too I was so in love with my boyfriend until he loved me back-then nothing. I think it's a disappointment thing. Like when you like someone and it's kind of one sided they're like this idolized version of them- but when it's mutual it's less "perfect"
Hmm.. maybe you become suspicious of their motives, questioning why they are too good to you.
I can be the same way (If I'm not very much into a guy that likes me), but if I really like a guy , I would be glad they were nice to me, especially If they are not usually overly nice to others..
It could be because you're wanting a thrill, guys who tend to be cold and emotionless you automatically think thats a shell and you want to get in, they are some what fascinating, as for guys who like you too much, it could just because you're not use to the attention, or even too USE to it and you like the challenge. You're not doomed for life, but perhaps you just have to sit back and think what is it that you want!
Because women are stupid when it comes to choosing a partner a good portion of the time. You pick the douche, douche is a douche to you, you complain about the douche, you can't leave the douche because you love him some how, douche cheats on you, you try to fix the douches wrong, douche gets you pregnant, now douche is stuck with you, and now you have a terrible future with the douche. The End.
Did i win?
There are lots of girls like you. Most girls under the age of 25 constantly reward assholes and the bad guys. A major reason why guys become bigger assholes as they get older, they are constantly rewarded for being bad and constantly punished for being good...
This one's on you ladies... If the good guys were getting more pussy in high school and college, there would be more good guys in general
You might want to research it on a phycology site or visit one. This could screw up your life if you dont understand the reason and cause. Once you understand it, you can deal with it. Suffice it to say, your life will suffer if you continue like that.
I used to be like that. Because how my father treated my mom. I got too used to seeing that and made me think that I don't deserve someone that is nice, treats me good and loves me for who I am. Now I'm with this wonderful guy who treats me like a princess and loves me. so deeply. I just think it is because of your self esteem. Just can't think of any other reasons.
Yes you're doomed... No im kidding I used to be the same way till I got tired or getting hurt and decided to love myself... We usually dislike good guys cause they're too available maybe you like your space but a good guy will smother you and live gets boring when everything is perfect we need pain in order to make things work
''We need pain in order to make things work''? Wow you have issues.
you're only ever going to fall in love with guys who despise you. some part of you WANTS to always be dissatisfied. you're afraid to be content, or you're not comfortable being desired.
The problem is you have certain standards for men. I'm guessing you want a guy that doesn't want to give much attention to you because you don't want be overwhelmed by his feelings towards you. You feel bored when a guy shows too much kindness, having maybe no challenge for you in a relationship. I think you want a relationship to be somehow challenging to keep you on your toes. Probably an ideal person you want to be with is the type that balances between nice (not too much) and jerk (not too much) making the person be challenging for you to figure how he may feel towards you but somehow cares in some way by not expressing which could be rare.
If that's what you like and you don't like nice, i guess yea that is what you're doomed to :s
Not all nice guys are boring though, not all do all that crap, some are fun and stuff and treat you well while still giving you space. Just nice guys who aren't people pleasers and who aren't so desperate to make a girl happy are more rare than a normal guy who treats you good.
Why do you lose interest? Plenty of people can explain that.
However, only I will thank you for demonstrating to inexperienced guys why they need to be very sparing with the niceness towards girls.
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It's normal, maybe it's because you like a challenge and nice guy's just don't do it for you, maybe you should date these so called assholes to get a learning experience but I would recommend staying single for a while until you figure out what you really want, you're still young so no need to rush it.
You'll get messed up with enough cold and emotionless guys, to learn appreciating nice guys.
And honestly, you would like to just feel like shit and lonely? Urgh.. Girls are crazy.
uhm yeah you have that crazy lady syndrome
you know whats good for you but you choose the other path
Maybe one day your interests will change, keep dating who you want, listen to your heart but think with your head sometimes too
LOL its funny as a nice guy I wish you would tell me. LOL honestly my problem isn't so much that they lose interest as that when they do lose interest they start assuming I am only being nice to try and win them back which ruins our friendships.
I actually lost a really awesome female friend a month back, I totally ignored her and she basically kept coming on really strong. After a few weeks of dating one day I randomly said I liked how it was working and she freaked out and went 180
because they're boring. it's also hard to trust someone is being real/honest when they're always nice.
Because there is something seriously wrong with you.
Because you like to get treated like shit and have a mental disorder. And you're probably to young and immature to recognize when something is good for you like many women out there. It's like a fat person who sees himself or herself getting fatter everyday but still keeps doing harm to himself by eating the same shit everyday.
The reason you lose interest is because you never been misstreated or had experienced anything like it.. once you do you would want nothing but a nice guy who considers for you and is nice...
After all these women claiming that guys who complain about this are fake nice guys and that being too nice doesn't turn women off... Haha...
why "doomed" to date assholes? isn´t that what you want if you don´t like nice guys. you are probably just not yet ready to settle down.
If you had low self esteem most likely you wouldn't know. That's kind of how those things work.
Some nice guys are nice a-holes too but you'd have to give 1 a chance long enough to find out
This sound like a made up question by a guy pretending to be a girl. never heard anyone say stuff like that in rl
So many cold girls are leaving nice guys, just because boys they want to be happy with her and they would do everything to be with her.
You're probably used to guys being mean to you, and believe that's all you deserve or how you were treated.
sometimes nice boys seems like they are needy, and it's true.
there's nothing wrong with u. I know tons of girls who like that kind of guys , the kind that would not be very care or show thier feelings
Lack of confidence in self-governance; in the world there are all types of madness, you are better of with this one, trust me... you can come tame me
There are semi- nice guys who also posses badass qualities, you just have to spot them and probably do some running after, as well.
It is your life. I just don't want a girl to pretend that she likes nice guys and lead me on. It is a waste of time and energy for everyone.
I believe nice women believe they can change them. As a result nice guy end up with the not so nice women. You needed to realize you deserve a nice guy and a nice guy deserves a nice girl like you.
Well, you recognized it's an issue so there's something at least. Do you know exactly why you lose interest when he becomes too nice? What exactly do you like about the cold and emotionless men?
You think you are matured mentally but you are not matured harmonically... You are attracted to a manly persons who are good at giving pleasure...
maybe you dont like too much attention it can make you feel stalked or overwhelmed or you dont like too much romantic stuff.
To easy coming from a guy. .. That's why we ignore u and don't accept your demands.
Most girls wanted to feel safe if he is a pussy boy then you a fucked I am nice to my girl but I also have her back
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You're probably used to guys being mean to you, and believe that's all you deserve
Because his niceness doesn't feel genuine and you can smell it.
I think I'm too nice :( chivalry is dead in my opinion
because nice does not interest you.
ikr what a stupid question.
maybe you just like guys who are hard to get or something lol
Because you like a challenge
I just had this happen to me because I'm too nice
You don't have real self esteem.
Because of this face.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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