What did I do wrong? Should I try to make things work with her? (Page 2)
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I could kinda see how she might feel uncomfortable but the way she handled it was also out of line. I had a boyfriend who used to do this to me a lot. He meant well, but I would always talk to him like trash, the way she's talking to you. I kept treating him this way until finally he got tired of it and left me. Of course by then it was too late, but being dumped really made me realize the error of my ways. If she can't communicate with you calmly, and starts calling you names after you didn't say anything really offensive, you need to determine if you wanna put up with that forever. I wouldn't. There are other fish in the sea, and it may not feel like it now, but I promise there's a girl out there who will treat you better than this.
Here's the deal. You cater way too much to her and your relationship is out of balance. If you are putting too much in, you will burn yourself out or you will smother her. I can tell by that conversation that you two are on different personality pages. Maybe even different books.
It sounds like she's not really interested in you. See the way she brought her ex up it means she's still not over him yet. An she's looking for someone with his traits. Sometimes though compliments are very over barring. So maybe lay off them a bit if you take a step back she'll come running trust me. Women love nothing more than having to chase a man. Now not too much obviously cause then she'll get bored. But if she texts you don't reply straight away until your into conversation obviously. Leave her waiting on your reply if you put yourself on a plate she's gonna eat you an move on to desert yeno. 🙄 Just a bit of advise. If she keeps that attitude up though leave her to it.
Her way of acting when upset reminds me of myself, only when asked about it, I will pretend nothing is wrong and try not to start a fight.
All I can say is, if she is anything like me, it's best to be kind but also give her some space without ignoring her completely. I understand what she means by being uncomfortable with so many compliments. Part of depression for many people is low self esteem and though compliments help raise it a bit, if heard too much, they can lose their affects. You might need to find the right balance with her.
Hopefully she isn't like me though because when I started getting like how she was in the text and such, I broke up with my ex maybe two-ish months later after falling in and out of this mood a couple times.
He doesn't has to hope shit! He deserves better... I only hope he dumps her
@singlebee Its not like she's doing anything wrong. She's depressed and is likely confused with a lot of complicated emotions. She needs patience and help.
If a person isn't willing to be there for the one they love/care about, then THEY don't deserve them. Luckily. This guy seems to have a heart and is trying his best. I respect him for this and wish him luck.
Ouch! She is right, that was too much coming from you. Here is what she was thinking:
"Why does he like me this much? is he trying to get something from me? is he desperate? Not like I'm doing anything special"
Notice how her replies were very short and you kept pushing it. Compliments are nice because we don't get them constantly. When they keep coming in, they become nothing special and can make people feel uncomfortable.
Let her come to you, if not then move on. You will hate yourself if you keep begging, so give her space.
If I'm being direct it is because you remind me of my teen self so much it hurts. Don't be needy. Don't make her the absolute center of your universe.
So you did further to many compliments which annoyed her... But I think she didn't treat you well... I don't care if she is pissed off but that behavior is bitchy... And cold hearted..
You deserve better!!! If she is like this all the time or even most of the time then I would dump her and find someone better.
Don't say sorry about this ever! And so texting her...
Let her say sorry to you... If she doesn't then you know where you stand in your relationship...
Then just initiate the breakup... Seriously you deserve better...
You're acting like a woman and she wants to be in a relationship with a man. Stop being such a bitch. It's creepy as hell when someone compliments you all the time and is over the top about it. You're obviously clueless about women and you need to go read a few books on the differences between men and women and what they find sexually attractive.
You're sexist AND ignorant. Good combo.
1-u deserve someone better she shouldn't freak out 2-I hate compliment after compliment it's make me uncomfortable , it's make feel like ur trying to play with me.
3- study shows when guy is tooooo sweet he is player. I don't mean that you are. But this is how I can catch them. i guess her Ex was player and act the same way.
4- guy who compliment me over & over piss me off but I don't freak out like her that's not cool. I just hint
Awe you deserve someone better. Less bitchy. You could get a great girl with your sweetness.
This hoe is crazy. I would just not text her anymore. Make her miss you.
OK, so she doesn't take compliments too well. That's alright, just be a bit more sparing with them in the future.
Texting is NO substitute for talking. Messages can very often be misconstrued and read the wrong way.
Give it a few days and contact her and asked how she is and simply say that you look forward to seeing her again when the time is right.
That way, she won't feel pressured and she will be more relaxed.
And don't use words like hypocrite, they don't go down too well, so you will need to apologise for that one.
One more thing, send a few flowers round there by post, she will like that.
This woman is crazy! Do you really want to patch things up? You could do so much better! How about being with someone who loves compliments and loves you!
My new member give me send a messagw please thank you :)))
@Jonhb sorry?
Frankly, the level and type of compliments would make me super uncomfortable. Do you talk to her like that all the time? It's creepy.
All the time, like the past year, I even asked if I complimented her too much
LOL ur one of those kinda guys.
u got a long road ahead of you man.
Maybe tone down the compliments a little. Girls like compliments but don't overdue it.
@ShocknAwem Orphan has a point. Start researching asker... You need to sort this out or you are going to get dumped by her and your future girlfriends. Good luck. Google is your friend.
Its creepy to compliment a woman you love niw huh?
And you call your worthless ass a female? Maybe you should be a fucking fuck up. Better yet, turn it to a guy since you fucking hate compliments
@crazyperson19 apt username.
You were being a bit over the top with the compliments, it comes across as a bit creepy. Maybe you should have spent more time asking her about her instead.
Also, are the more messages from you that your not showing us? Why would she say you were being a dick when all you said was "oh"
(1.) I already tried asking about her earlier, and remember I've been with her for a year.
(2.) these are the complete texts.
Yes, you put more into the relationship then she does. It's pretty obvious. She doesn't really seem that into you and is only with you b/c she can be. I don't think her feelings for you are anywhere near the way you feel for her.
Typically, with women. Don't give them more then they need. It never will go in your favor. What you have is the nice guy complex and women these days ain't having it.
Wow she sounds like a bitch. She doesn't sound nice at all. I'd kill for compliments like that.
She obviously wasn't in the mood for compliment after compliment after compliment and she told you, so that's where you say sorry I was just trying to cheer you up, (if she's actually upset like you say) and stop. But you got indignant from her response.
For future notice, here's how you should have handled this:
-after first compliment she gave, give her compliment.
-then text her something like hey I'm going to a class I'll talk to you later :)
*if the compliments really bother you you have to talk about that in person. Texts provoke miscommunication all the time!
omg sorry didn't realize it was you who gave the compliments
If a guy was saying those things to me I wouldn't call him a dick. There's something going on with her. It's completely and 100% not your fault
You were being sweet then she turned into a brat. Doesn't sound like something to pursue if this is going to be a common occurrence. I'm almost sorta in the same boat, except I think the boat I'm in has decided to sink. Don't let your boat catch you off guard, dock it while you can (more simply said, take care of it however you see best fit while you still have a handle on the situation).