Do girls actually like wholesome, nice guys who aren't pushovers and are assertive when necessary?

[Anonymous]

I think that when girls meet a nice dude, they only see the "everyday" side of him. They don't know how he handles conflict, but because he's nice they automatically assume he's a pushover. Am I right here?

Updates

+1 y

Note to self: never ask intelligent questions on gag lol

[AskAlthea]

Yes. I think the problem is sometimes we associate nice with being a pushover, and most girls don't want a pushover. I don't automatically assume he's a pushover, I've learned to tell the difference between a nice guy who's usually a pushover and an assertive nice guy, a guy who is confident tends to not be a pushover (and yes, confidence, not to be confused with arrogance although a lot of people confuse the two).

Now you will have girls who want a bad boy, because society tends to associate the hot strong alpha with the bad boy persona. But I think most girls would like a wholesome assertive nice guy.

[kaylaS91]

'They don't know how he handles conflict, but because he's nice they automatically assume he's a pushover.'

Nope. To me, a guy having a basic amount of human decency =/= him being an automatic pushover. As much as you self-proclaimed 'nice guys' may like to think so as a last-ditch attempt to blame your lack of success with women on anyone but yourselves... the only people coming up with such shit are yourselves. Ironically enough. 🍻

[Asker]

Perhaps I worded my question badly. Instead of saying "nice", I should have nice AND friendly, amiable, likable etc. You know those people you meet for the first time and they just seem like they have stick up their ass? Well I'm talking about guys who are basically the opposite of that.

Besides it's not "self-proclaimed". I say i'm nice because I am nice. For example, I would never abuse my girlfriend. You might say that doesn't deserve praise, but there are a shit ton of guys out there who physically and/or emotionally abuse their partners. Being better than a shit ton of guys definitely deserves praise. Truly good people are rather uncommon these days. Or maybe it's always been that way, but it can't be called a "basic amount of human decency" if so many humans don't have it.

[Asker]

You know it saddens me that I had to contradict you on that. I WISH we lived in this imaginary world your mom told you about where everyone is nice. I wish that niceness was something we could take for granted of everyone, that being a good person was a minimum requirement, and not a feature. Trust me, I really do.

[kaylaS91]

Ah, that's where you're very much mistaken. I speak not of an 'imaginary world', but reality. It's your choice whether you choose to surround yourself with people who lack something as seemingly basic as 'being nice' or not. I choose not to, so yeah; my 'reality' or life is spent in largepart around people who are a joy to be around. (at least in situations where I am able to choose who I'm around. Which makes putting up with assholes all the more bearable when I have no choice but to.)

[simplyaramdomgirl]

Not really, it depends on the girl and her type of preference, but I don't think that nice guys are pushovers. Usually the girls that assume that nice guys are pushovers don't really spent time with shy guys or nice guys, you see I know a few nice guys and they are not pushovers, they just don't like to come off as rude or as an asshole, and that's why their nice, not because they let people treat them like a welcome matt.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Yeah we do. Women don't actually like shitheads the way people think they all do. Some do, but most adult women look for a guy with balance. My boyfriend was the epitome of what you described - really nice guy but not a pushover.

[writing_essays]

I do - I want a guy who is confident enough not to run when a problem arises - that is the problem with nice guys - most of them are passive pushovers unwilling to stand when the going gets tough.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I don't automatically assume that, because I consider myself as nice, but I'm not a pushover.

So I know it's possible to be nice , assertive and opinionated at the same time

[shyramarie1]

i don't assume anything about new men in my life. i have dated nice boys and bad boys and never assumed anything till proven by experience.

[SarahsSummer]

If I meet a nice guy, I assume he's a nice guy. I don't consider him a pushover unless I see him pushed over.

[Jade_Villanueva]

umm.. for my case i've been with nice guys but in the end i can't seem to connect with them, but like for my future i do hope i marry a nice, responsible, and caring man

[wachar]

nope, I want a guy who are not afraid to show me his true self, what he looks or acts when he's angry or etc.

[Anonymous]

No that's false the only reason guys think girls don't like nice guys is because hardly any nice guys have the confidence to approach girls. 90% of guys who actually approach girls are douchebags.

[iruasvat]

All guys I've met are assholes so I don't know about that