Girls, Spankings/Disciplining: Survey for anyone who was spanked growing up? (Page 2)
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1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? No, it is an unnecessary short term solution to end an action.
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? Often, because spanking didn't stop me from doing what I wanted to do. Even got the belt with the metal on it sometimes.
😌 Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? My dad, very rarely my mom did as well. Other than that, my maternal grandma might have.
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? Lying, embarassing them in public, taking things from their room, drawing on the walls, sneaking over to the neighbor behind the apartments, etc.
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? No, only in the moment. I always got in trouble for the same things as a child because I had the mentality that of I wanna do it, I'll do it. I found only found sneaker was to do what I want and eventually got punished less because I wasn't caught as much doing the very things they didn't want me to do.
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? Knee and standing
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? 12. I forget what it was for but my dad said if I haven't learned by now then spanking won't help (To which I replied: Oh thank god...)
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? It burned like a horrible sunburn. Even my clothes touching it made it hurt worse.
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? My dad's leather belt with the metal on it...
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? Both
11) Did you cry every time? Yes
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? Painful though sometimes both. Also, betrayed, which is silly. I got in trouble for things I didn't do sometimes, but why feel betrayed when my parents didn't care whether I did it to begin with? Punishment was the only thing that made them feel like they were being "good" parents. They had no other methods.
1😌 How did your parents know you learned your lesson? I lied and said I did.
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? Send me to my and not let me go outside and play.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? Abuse, purely abuse.
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? Yes, very.
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents? Nope, never. There are better, long term methods that don't involve physically and emotionally scarring your children.
Thanks for your comments, i actually really agree with most of your opinions. i was raised pretty much the same way. have you ever spoken to your parents about it since, to mention if you didn't approve of anything they did? Follow me back, would be great if we could just message separately too! thanks xoxo
Yes, I have. The answer was always things like "I did it because that's how my parents disciplined me" or "You had it easy because my parents *insert horribly abusive thing here*"
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? --> I think it depends on the cultural context. Somewhere like the US where we teach people that violence is generally unacceptable, that individuals enjoy bodily autonomy, and that rights (including to be free from intentional physical harm) are scared, not so much.
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? --> Never.
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? --> My parents had a more effective way of keeping us in line. They'd take away privileges and never budge. I lost my JH prom privileges because I swapped cleaning the garage with my brother. I'd been planning to go to JHP for a whole year. You can bet I never shrugged off another (serious) household responsibility...
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? --> I don't think my parents would have ever hit us.
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? --> I don't know how credible the research is, but I've read a few studies that show that spanking children is ineffective at changing problem behavior.
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing?
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do?
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking?
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand?
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes?
11) Did you cry every time?
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt?
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? --> No spanking, but they knew we'd learned our lesson the same way you know a kid learned her multiplication tables: she wouldn't make mistakes (3x7, 8x9...) anymore. I do have an older brother who NEVER learned not to break into dad's liquor cabinet, though.
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? --> Extra chores, loss of our favorite snacks, assigning us chores at neighbors' houses, assigned weekend and holiday community service, and helping out friends on really gross work--like so disgusting I can't even mention it here.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? --> I'd stop short of calling it "abuse." But I think if you have to use physical violence to get someone to do something, something major has failed somewhere. Where kids are concerned, that failure is likely the parents. Just my opinion.
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? --> Not in our family, but I do think physical violence can have subtle but major negative effects.
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents? --> No, I would never hit anyone else unless I were defending myself. And while I don't think kids are inherently "innocent," striking them seems like giving up, if temporarily, on trying to find effective ways to teach and discipline. But maybe I just can't appreciate how tough it is to raise a kid. Which is one reason I'm adopting, not procreating. :)
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline?
Yes definitely
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)?
Once or twice. That’s all it took.
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents?
Both my parents
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking?
When I was being extremely disrespectful and uncooperative. I don’t remember the exact situation.
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong?
Yes lol I cried like a baby even before they hit me
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing?
I think it was usually standing for me
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do?
I don’t even remember. I was less than 10 for sure. I cried like a Bitch
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking?
It’s been too long. I’m sure it stung
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand?
A belt
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes?
Over the clothes
11) Did you cry every time?
Yes
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt?
Yeah I’d say so.
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson?
I don’t know!
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you?
They took things from me when I wouldn’t obey. Like if my sister and I fought over a toy they’d take the toy. If I wasn’t behaving while at a friends house my mom would take me home and make me sit in my room.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline?
Nah a kid needs to be hit once in their life
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents?
Not at all
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents?
I would totally hit my kids if I had to. But I don’t think physical punishment should be the first line of offense if you know what I mean
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? - Sometimes
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? - Often, I was not a good kid.
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? Either of my parents, but usually my mom.
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? - I threw a small toy at my sister once, I broke a vase on accident, my sister and I being too loud talking to each other at night, and being disrespectful.
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? - Yes.
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? - They would let me know what I did wrong and then spank me standing up.
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? - Probably 7 years old for talking too loud when everyone was trying to sleep.
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? - It didn't hurt really, it was just the fact that I did something wrong that made me upset.
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? - It was a painting stick, like a ruler.
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? - Over my clothes; they didn't want to humiliate us.
11) Did you cry every time? - No.
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? - Embarrassment, anger that I was being punished, and sad because I disappointed them.
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? - When I didn't do it again, or did whatever it was fewer times.
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? - Just us sitting down one on one.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? - I feel it's necessary at times, but don't go out of your way to embarrass your child, like making them bend over or spank their bare butt. The action of any spanking is enough.
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? - No.
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents? - Depends, I really don't know if I would; I'd feel too guilty.
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline?
Sometimes but it just made me afraid and angry
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? Often
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? Daddy and Mom, yes I did
4) What offenses did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? Talking back, not doing what I was told
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? Yes but only because I was afraid of getting beat and it hurt
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? Used to get beat with a belt or whatever they could grab spatula, wooden spoon a shoe. Or they would throw things at me or pinch me or my mom would sometimes punch me in the arm.
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? 17 talked back to my dad
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? Hurt badly lol
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? Yep whatever they could grab
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? When I was little in my undies as I got older they just beat me over my clothes.
11) Did you cry every time? No I used to not cry to piss my dad off and let him know he didn't get to me.
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? Painful and it made me angry
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? When I didn't do whatever I did wrong again.
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? They used to also take away our electronics and also ground us from going to our friends house or doing anything fun.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? I try to use spanking as a last resort I don't like how it made me feel growing up. Also I think if you do spank a child you need to cool off a bit before because sometimes you can take it too far and really hurt the child. There was times my dad took it way too far.
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? Yes but we've moved past them
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently? Only as a last resort I would probably just take away their stuff that they really enjoy. Also talk to them about why they're getting punished...
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline?
Not these days, it sure taught me respect but it also made me afraid as a child, good parenting doesn't need physical punishments.
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? Every day
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? My Dad, with his belt, including the buckle.
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? Swearing, not abiding by house rules and generally being the eldest, being the eldest sucks.
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? Yes ofcourse it was, but it gave me anxiety.
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? My Dad would just hold my arms up and whip the hell out of my butt with the belt :(
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? 14, I was caught drinking, but he only stopped because his friends told him it was weird he was still beating his 14 year old daughter with the belt.
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? Red and Raw, couldn't sit down for about an hour.
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? The belt... my grandmother used a steel spatula, like the kind you use on a BBQ.
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? Both, depends on who was beating me.
11) Did you cry every time? Yes, definitely
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? Both, it was definitely embarrassing and certainly painful.
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? They didn't, they just used the belt and the spatula as a deterrent.
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? Grounding, the Corner and chores.
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? There were times when it really went overboard, if I had a kid I wouldn't use physical punishment, I'd find a way to punish them without hurting them.
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? Yeah, I avoided my father like the plague, I had anxiety any time I was around him.
Thank you for sharing that, it actually made me feel less weird about my past knowing that it was a normal for other people as well. And I agree, being the eldest sucks.
@xXSaturnXx damn your answers really hits home, I was raised pretty much the exact same way. Have you ever spoken to your parents about it since, to mention if you didn't approve of anything they did? Follow me back or PM me, would be great if we could just message separately too. thanks hun! xoxo
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? Sometimes it is necessary but I prefer positive reinforcement.
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? Sometimes I was pretty well behaved
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? Mum and no
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? It was only used for serious things eg physically bullying sibling or tantrum throwing
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? For me yes sibling no
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? Standing
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? About 12 I can't remember
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? can't remember
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? Hand sibling got the wooden spoon once though
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? Clothes
11) Did you cry every time? No
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? None I just knew I was misbehaving
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? I didn't do it again
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? Rewards system and groundings
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? Last resort definitely as mentioned I prefer positive reinforcement and is proven to work better
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? No
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents? I would like to have a better relationship with my child than I did with my mum I had trust issues not in relation to spanking but I still wouldn't do it. My rule with my dog is he only gets a tap on the bum if he puts his own or both our lives in danger necessarily and I think I would keep that rule when I have children other than that it would be positive reinforcement and maybe a grounding depending on their personality
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline?
Yes most definitely its one of the best actually
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)?
Not very often
😌 Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents?
My mother and father used to spank me but mostly my mom, my aunt also spanked me a few times
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking?
Anything wrong and it had to be a big thing otherwise I'd just get shouting
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong?
Well for the moment yes 😂 but I did it a few times till I became more mature and understood why they told me to stop
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing?
I'd get the spanking just as I was standing or should I say running for my life
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do?
I think 12/13 I don't really remember what I done
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking?
burning stinging it was god damn sore alright
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand?
They used anything they could find and when they couldn't find anything they'd use their hands
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes?
Over my cloths
11) Did you cry every time?
Not every time but most of the time
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt?
I felt painful but not embarrassed unless it was in front of someone and I did feel anger for that moment
1😌 How did your parents know you learned your lesson?
Well they only knew once I completely stopped whatever i was doing
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you?
Shouting
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline?
Its definitely the best method for me if my kids don't wanna listen. Nicely
And its not abuse
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents?
No I actually learnt respect and dignity from them
17) Well yes of course I would spank them and no not really I wouldn't do anything first besides tell them nicely
1) Do you believe spankings are an effective form of discipline? Yes cos growing up if I did something wrong I'd get spanked
2) How often were you spanked growing up (rarely, often or very often)? Just often cos it was anytime I did something very wrong if it wasn't that bad then just shouted at
3) Who did the discipline in your house? Did you ever get spanked by anyone other than your parents? My dad did it all only once my mum slapped me for rudeness
4) What offences did your parents consider deserving of a spanking? Fighting with my brother, if I caused it or if I was rude and gave attitude
5) Was it effective in making you stop doing whatever you were doing wrong? Yes because I was scared of getting hurt again
6) When your parents spanked you would they make you go over their knee or bend over a bed etc, or would it just spank on the spot while you were standing? Spank me on the spot but if wasn't always on the bum most times in the hands
7) What age did you get your last spanking and what did you do? Probably 15, I must have been giving attitude
8 ) What did your butt feel like after a spanking? Burning sensation
9) Did your parents ever use an object to discipline you or was it just with their hand? A belt not hands
10) When you were spanked, was it done on the bare butt or over your clothes? Over clothes but like I said before it was mostly in the hands
11) Did you cry every time? Yes, or even before getting hit
12) Did you find getting spanked embarrassing or painful, or both? Was there any other emotion you felt? Just upset and angry and of course I felt pain
13) How did your parents know you learned your lesson? If I didn't do it again
14) What other discipline methods did your parents use on you? Pack my stuff and threat to kick me out
15) Now that you're older, what is your opinion on the use of spanking as a last resort? Do you feel it was abuse or at times necessary discipline? Probably not no, words have a big affect
16) Do you believe that spanking may have led to anger and/or trust issues with your parents? Just anger
17) If you have children would you spank them as a last resort? If so, is there anything you would do differently compared to your parents? I don't think I'd hit my own kids at all, I believe kids can be disciplined through actions other than hitting. For example not letting them get their way, putting them on time out etc
I’ll do my best
1) it’s situational. depends on the child and how calm the parent can be. There are some people who should never spank because they’re overly emotional and take it to the extreme: abuse
2) Rarely
3) both my parents sparked me (or popped me on the leg or hand). So did my grandparents. I was popped more than spanked on the tush.
4) anything that was a dangerous situation and I knew it was wrong. Ie: running away from them in a parking lot, hiding in a store, etc.
5) it got my attention, then we’d have “the talk”. I’d rarely do it again if I got popped and had the talk
6) I don’t remember having to bend over the knee, but I know my cousins did because she fought.
7) I got my last spanking on accident. I was roughhousing either my dad at age 8ish, and accidentally stepped on his testicles. He smacked me out of a reaction. He apologized profusely.
8) my rear never hurt, it was about getting my attention, not hurting me.
9) one time when I was older my mom had a plastic belt. It didn’t hurt, but it sounded like a whip. Scared the crap out of me. That was the last time she spanked me. I asked her, “it’s so loud, but was it supposed to hurt?” “No it’s supposed to get your attention”
10) if it was my butt, always over my clothes. Depends on the leg on weather. Hands were obviously bare.
11) I cried because my feelings were hurt and I disappointed them. I was that kind of child.
12) it hurt my feelings. I was the kid who would cry from a cat scratch because I was more afraid the cat didn’t like me anymore rather than the scratch itself.
13) I was a pretty obedient child. So they just knew.
14) primarily talking and grounding.
15) depends on the situation as a whole. I never let my ex-husband spank because I knew he had anger issues. I was afraid he would beat the kids.
16) I’m very close with my dad. I am developing issues with my mom as an adult because since her strokes, her personality has changed and she’s becoming manipulative and not nurturing. I mourn for my mother...
17) I use it as a last resort, but I got for a slap on the hand over a pop on the butt. I still hate doing it. It happens after talking, grounding, and they’re still out of control. (Only one regularly escalates to this point).
I NEVER raise my hand in anger. If I get super angry, I send all the kids to their rooms and tell them I will get them when I have calmed down. I also hate yelling.