What does it mean when he says "You mean a lot to me" ?

I am not the type of person to get hung up on semantics... however... my boyfriend is very guarded and very deliberate when he opens up emotionally. We have been good friends for 12 years... and until about a year ago we were unable to pursue anything due to circumstance (he lived on the other side of the country).

Over the course of the last month ... He has really tried to be emotionally vulnerable and has

1) whispered ever-so quietly "i love you" in my ear post-coital afterglow (it was almost inaudible)

2) Recently signed a text "Love, [name]"

3) Introduced me to his friends and family - who openly articulated the "change" they see in him in terms of his affection for me

4) and wrote me a rather heartfelt email stating he is a "better man" since we came together (we have been dating for 10 months - all exclusively)... He then signed the same email "you mean a lot to me"

I guess I am wondering if he is "falling" in love? Does "you mean a lot to me" mean that in this context?

I should also caveat my question by saying he is in his late 30s (he is 10 years older than I) and has mentioned that he is looking for "someone to come home to" ... and is selling his sports car in the Fall because "it is time" and he isn't in that place in his life anymore. He already owns a home - and over the course of the last 6 months has completely decorated it professionally - in which he has sought my input.

Any thoughts? "What does you mean a lot to me" actually mean?

A close MALE friend of mine thinks he is going to propose within the next 6 months... what do you think?

I have no expectations whatsoever ... nor do I think a proposal is coming ... but I am interested from a guy's point of view as to where you think his mind is.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, I was looking for the meaning of "You really mean lot to me". I am not that expressive person but I do tell what feel about to my ex-girl friend.
    I had been in relation before a month. We really love each other truly but something really happened and she did not able to overcome the emotion and gave up. But she still wants to keep in contact and coining me as the best friend. I am not sure if it will work in that way yet I am ready to support her in any mean.
    When I sign her that I might not hold on position and wanna be staying unknown forever. She reluctantly indirectly declined with me decision and said "You still mean a lot of to me" but she never sees any possibilities in future that we can be living together which I wish for.
    I m really curious with this suspense word.

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  • He's trying to walk right up to the edge of saying "I love you" without actually taking the risk of saying it. He want you to hear "I love you" without him being held to it after the fact. He really does care for you but he does not want to move too fast.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with everyone. The fact that you are together for 1 year and 2 months and he says that you mean a lot for him is really the silent way of men saying that they care deeply for you but he is not yet ready for the next step. And most of all really good men hate fights - so was his way to say that. Translation in women language "I love you a lot but fighting is one thing I don't quite like". I know we tend to be emotional sometimes - but try to talk it out instead of fighting it out. I think he loves you enough to talk it through with you - just don't forget "let's talk" is not the favorite phrase for guys. Use something like "I have this thing on my mind and I wonder if you can help me with it."

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    • What do u mean by he's not ready for the next step?
      We recently just met each others parents for the first time (im the first girl he has introduced to his parents - none of his exes has met them)
      We are each others longest relationship
      We are planning on vacation together early next year

    • Oh and he says he loves me everyday

    • You didn't mentioned the parents. That means he is very close to something very very serious. Just give him peace, a bit of space (that means no fights because you are afraid of something - he may not see it the same way as you and you may end up in bigger fights). He needs to come to some decisions on his own and for that men need their "man cave". He may get quieter and be a bit more sensitive to your words. Have patience (I know is very hard) and most of all try to be as calm as you can possibly be. Good luck :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

113
  • It means he's talking about as more than friends, and is possibly even trying to clue you in to the fact that those feelings run very deep.

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    • Thanks for your answer, why would he say it after breaking up with me thou? And also said it when we were dating a lot and once his ex and the mom to his kids he did the breakup with me and told me that he liked me a lot and added I mean a lot could his ex interfered? And he also added that he could see our future when he first met me and when I met some of his family and his kids. As well we still talk over text every day and if not every day than every other day and still call one another when we are free. And he still wants pics of me and I send him pics as well. Is he still interested? And did his ex confuse him? And why or why not to all questions.

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    • Ok, same here. I'm ready for zzzzz. Have a good night :-)

    • Good night. Keep in touch and sleep
      Well. :)

  • "you mean a lot to me" mean's exactly what it means. There is no sugar coating behind that. Obviously the guy loves and cares a bunch about you so, Id say if you feel the same way for this guy go for it. Guys and girls who have been best friends forever at some point or another take the leap and get even closer or end up distancing apart and doing some separate things. So if this guy is worth it why not make something of it.

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  • He's not ready to say I love you but he still want you to know that he cares deeply for you

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  • He just wanted to make you sure about his feelings towards you are serious.

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  • He may be in love with you... dont expect him to do everything put in some effort he will only open up if u show signs

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    • What kinds of signs can I give him? As he told me he had massive headaches and gut pain and felt he was nt falling in love with me, but after he said I like yo a lot and I mean a lot. And that from the moment he met me and on our first date he fell for me and could see our future together. And when I met some of his family and kids he could see me in his family. And we even talked marriage and etc. but his ex the mom to his kids is in the picture to and I met her and she has a lot of drama. Could she of caused problems between me and him? As she was trying to put a stop to a surprise date night for him and I. Could he be confused now since she's in the picture? Plus him and I still text everyday or every other day and we still send one another pictures to each other. Why woyld he still want to text me and pics of me? Plus he still wants to go to a wedding with me this summer. Why does he still want to go with me? and plans to come the day before. Does he still have feelings for me?

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    • Why wouldn't he want me to go away from him completely? Is he scared or has commitment issues due to his ex cheating on him?

    • He is a lonely guy... I dont think his x would bother him or he has any commitment issues.. if he is scared of her then why would he go out with you or make u and her meet each othet

  • It technically means that you mean a lot to him. Jeez. Should he draw it for you, or what ist the problem?

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  • i like u a lot = i wanna see u as much as possible... cannot b xplained any further...^_^

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    • K, than why would he say he's not falling in love with me? Is is it due to ex to his children being in the picture?

    • do u have kids with him?

  • he likes you and its not only like like.. it means he likes you in that way and he mean it..

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    • Than why would he say he's not falling in love with you first but add right after I like you a lot and I mean a lot? Is he confused since his ex and that he shares kids with just moved into the same citY? We do still text everyday or every other day and we still send pics to one another.. He still also wants to attend a wedding with me as well this summer. Why would he all do that?

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    • Well I will this summer as we are from two different cities and his sis invited me up to go see them and go boating. Do you think she knows he broke up with me and should I go up? Despite his ex being in the same city?

    • yup.. you should go..

  • He said it try to help you calm down and he cares a lot about you and doesn't want to fight

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  • like... he likes you? like a lot

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  • Few weeks? He wants to dig inside you.

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  • That you mean a lot to them

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  • It means he's fallen in love with you

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    • Than why would he say he's not falling in love with you first but add right after I like you a lot and I mean a lot? Is he confused since his ex and that he shares kids with just moved into the same city?

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    • Than why did he say he was having massive headaches and gut pain prior and felt he wasn't falling in love with me than said the I like you a lot and I mean a lot. And adds he could see his future with me since day one and after I met some of his family, his kids and a few of his friends. Could he be confused since his ex who cheated on him is in the city as him now? And why would we still text every day or every other day? And why would he still want pics of me?

    • listen to yourself, he clearly wants a future with you, he's not confused he clearly wants you

  • It means he’s trying to game you. He’s trying to tell you what you want to hear to get sex.

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